Welcome To Ladun Liadi's Blog: How I Lost My Virginity – LL Reader

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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

How I Lost My Virginity – LL Reader

Hey Ladun,

I am currently schooling in the UK and recently, I was no longer a teenager. I comment on your blog anytime I am not really busy. I need some advice. The past few weeks have been very rough on me. I have tried to put stuff behind me but your recent post on the virginity debate just opened my wounds.

A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to a beach party with a couple of my friends but I was the only one who ended up going to it, which meant that I was going to be alone at the party. I didn’t mind because my course mates were going to be there as well. I was my usual self and ended up getting drunk at the party. Normally, I drink when I am out with my friends because I know at the end of the day I would get home safely. But this time around, it was different. One of my so called “friends” took advantage of me and I lost my virginity to him that night… on the beach. I know you would say it is my fault because why was I drinking and blah. And I would agree with you because I should not have been drinking. Click to continue.


It is just that I had worked so hard to keep my virginity, you have no idea. I think I have said no to sex more times than to anything else in my life. It is not that I don’t get horny or I don’t like sex. It is just that I wanted to wait for that one special person to have sex with because I would do anything for a man I will love and marry, and keeping my virginity was going to be one of the things I would do for him.

Not having sex all this time was an epic battle and the fact that I lost it in the end pains me so much. When I think about all I went through to not lose it, I have to laugh.

I once had to climb out a window of a bar because I wanted to run away from a guy. We were absolutely attracted to each other and I knew that if I didn’t leave at the time I did, we would have ended up having sex that night. I also stopped shaving my vajajay so that I would not have sex with any guy. But that didn’t last long because I like looking well groomed down there. I also remember once when a friend got me to his place after lectures to get “notes” and I had to say no to him even though I was absolutely attracted to him. The problem was that we were already half naked before I got back to my senses. I have had guy friends come into my life and then leave because I don’t “put out”. And then I also have those who kept begging me on a daily basis. I had to break up with four of my boyfriends because of… guess what… sex! I try to avoid guys because it seems like there is only one thing on their mind when it comes to me.

The way I even lost my virginity pains me even more. I could think of better scenarios than that. I have to also see this bastard every day and pretend like nothing happened so that I don’t raise suspicion among my friends. I am even paranoid because I know how guys talk to each other and I am hoping no one else finds out.

I really don’t know where to go from here. I am distracted from school work. I want this pain to go away so much but I don’t know what to do. I am not suicidal (lol) but I just feel like my life is such a waste right now.  I am so depressed. I have started smoking weed and doing other sorts of dangerous behaviour in the past few weeks to escape my reality but I have not had sex again, yet.
This weekend is really crucial for me because it will be the first time I am going out again after the incident. My main goal for the weekend is to get really fucked up because I feel so hopeless right now.

Please, ANY ADVICE?

P.S. I did not keep my virginity for religious purposes. I just did it because that’s what I have always wanted.

Looking forward to hearing from you.


88 comments:

  1. ONOME says......



    U stopped shaving ur v so that U'll not have sex with men?

    Who send me make I read this story?

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    Replies
    1. Onome is true! When I was at d peak of my teen age years, I also employed dt same strategy and it worked for me. When there is bushy, not smelly mind u, u won't want to undress in front of anyone same when u have little armpits hairs and sleeveless clothes becomes a no no

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    2. Nonsense, the average Nigerian guy doesn't care what hair you have there or anywhere as long as your legs are open

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    3. ashole my shit you bloody fucker to bitch yoy bastard

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  2. Miss leslie, I used to think you were smarter than this! Sweets, smoking weed and drinking just to drown your worries will just make u sink deeper!!
    So u intend going this weekend again and the same might prob happen to you! this time, could be a couple more guys! U should be sharper than this.
    I'm not going to tell you you shouldn't have done this or that,that has passed. Facing d future, babes, get a grip of ur life!! Feeling sorry and getting more messed up will def mess u more than you can ever imagine! Try and move closer to God! talk to God and talk to some1!!
    As for the guy, stop playing the victim, abeg try to talk to some of your friends about it cos the story go leak one way or the other. After that, try arrange small panel beating for the boy! *snickering* Next time, he'd head to red light districts when he's getting horny!!

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  3. Thats rape honi, u should report it. sex against ur will and u have worked so hard to keep it dont let it go just like that

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  4. Ok..lets deal with the situation at hand
    You are addicted to your story!!! Stop it.

    What have you learnt from this experience? You need to write it down and make it clear. What did this experience teach you? note that and also note what did you learn because its not everything that this experience taught you that you would have learnt?

    I now want you to forgive yourself. Yes, you need to forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be distracted.
    Forgive yourself for putting so much pressure on yourself that now after a mistake you feel angry
    Forgive yourself for making it okay to think “My main goal for the weekend is to get really fucked up because I feel so hopeless right now.”
    Forgive yourself for believing that you have failed.

    You call him a bastard and you are angry. I want you to think about your responsibility in this.

    Most importantly until you can forgive yourself you can’t progress and you will carry on this “pity party”.
    You will become very loose and sleeping around.

    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could be any different. Understand that and let it go.

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  5. Give yourself permission to move on.
    Its okay. Big bear hugs.

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  6. Ladun what happened to MIKE
    Is he alive?
    Pls reply

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    Replies
    1. You didn't get the memo? Please go through Ladun's blog, you will get an update on Mike

      Ladun, where's that Madam M. I think she has gone back to her cheating ways

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    2. Yes Mike is still alive.

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  7. Shit happens. But it looks like you have been putting yourself in compromising situations for the longest time (going half naked with male friends). Not everyone can hold on to virginity. Some people have raging hormones and when they come full blast, you cant control it at all. Most of the so called virgins have oral and anal sex, so they are technically not virgins. Let go of the barrier you have built in your mind and just live free. Take your time to really get to know people before you become intimate with them. Now that you have gotten disvirgined doesnt mean you cannot become a secondary virgin. So many non virgins decide to stop having sex for various reasons. Never indulge in wild senseless sexual experiments when you get emotional, that is the worst. it always ends in regret. Keep your dignity always, and always always use protection. Never trust anyone's word. If they want you to trust their word go and get them tested. Being a non virgin has its advantages as well. I am glad i am not a virgin my dear. I know what my friends that married as virgins are going through. Their fantasy dream is filled with disappointments. After they have lost their virginity, these guys treat them worse, afterall that was the point of waiting and a big reason why they married them. And most have never been in a relationship where intimate connection comes into play. A non virgin is better able to choose a spouse, this is my own experience. That is why you keep hearing of bad girls getting all the good guys. Experience is very important. A relationship with an intimate nature is a different ball game entirely. And if you have not been heartbroken, trust me, you dont want to be heart broken in marriage.

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    Replies
    1. The end of your comment became shallow and silly.

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  8. you sound so incoherent and unbelieveable with your story..anyways if it is true you had better get your self together and face the world as it is, either you keep rest of whta u have or you continue the banging

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    1. I thought I was the only one who noticed! You seem like a conflicted child. Any sympathy I had when I started reading your story disappeared when I read "I am depressed but not suicidal(Lol)..." My dear, that you can laugh out loud at the idea of people thinking you are not suicidal shows clearly that you are not as emotional as you want us to believe. What's done is done, please move on with your life.

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  9. U really should have gone to the police immediately for them to take samples for forensics and make a case for you. Same thing happended to my sis in the UK and the naija guy is cooling off in jail now and he will be there for 15 years. UK police pple are serious you know.

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  10. Its almost unbelievable that you lost the virginity so cheaply after doing so much to stay off sex. I'll call a spade a spade and tell you what you already know. Its your fault. You acted irresponsibly. I bet you aren't even sure if he used protection since you drank yourself to stupor. Better get tested for pregnancy and STDs

    Well, what's done is done. Don't compound the problem by getting depressed over it. Get involved in more responsible activities, hang out with friends and STAY OFF THE ALCOHOL AND DRUGS. Don't blame your problems on the weed. You always wanted to take it IMO. Resume the life you had before and forget the guy. He didnt rape you, he took advantage of the situation you put yourself in.

    Resume saving your vajayjay for the special one. From my experience, the first time didn't get it completely open

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  11. You have planned to get really fucked up this weekend, probably get fucked again by a total stranger, what advice are you asking for?

    You come across as an alcohol drinking, weed smoking, wild girl. It looks like you've managed to stay out of trouble only because of your friends' support system.

    Get over yourself please. Quit the drinking and weeding and take stock

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    Replies
    1. WONU: like dis. U a virgin buh u smoke weed en drink recklessly imagine d kind of pple u will come across. Just stay positive en all will be fine

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  12. Bia, Madam Ladun, why did you stop labeling these stories, Reader's mail?
    To hoodwink us?

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  13. honestly speaking my only advice to you is to go and have more sex, only that will you get back to reality, you feel the way you feel because your vejay havent experienced the real sweetness of sex lol......... but thats the bitter truth tho....

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  14. You don't really need to dwell in the past... what has happened has happened, all you need now is to calm down, relax and probably hangout with a few friends that have your interest at heart and would probably tell you the truth. If you need someone to talk to... send a mail to billboard9ja@gmail.com.

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  15. Bla bla blah*yawn*next!!!

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  16. Do you feel raped, then report to police. If not, be bold to confront him about what happened that night.....

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  17. Too long plus meaniless,some one read it and explain to me #dumbBlonde#

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    Replies
    1. She hung out wit pple she ddnt know too well,got drunk and lost her virginity..it fell short of her expectation.so d disappointment made er sad(not sucidal)phaps she was expecting drumrolls and fanfare the first time she uno,Had sex..anyway she kips tinkin bout it.she's filled with remorse,anger,hate,self loathing.she wishes she's lost it to the much cuter guys she dated.
      This weekend she's goin to knock herself out with weed and alcohol,again she'd be hanging out wit frnds and she's asking for our advice.

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    2. Haaa Moberry u get time º°˚

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  18. if you feel he raped you, you might want to report it. if you feel it was hormones gone too far, don't report it.
    it must be painful sha and i understand. But why let things spiral out of control further? Why do you want to get fucked up this weekend? IT WAS ONLY ONE TIME, so you can still salvage it. Once you let it get out of control, it will be harder to salvage your dignity etc back.
    I would suggest taking a break and a change of environment for a while. Get away even if for the weekend. Go stay with some friends (non drinking and smoking ones) ..... have fun and move on.
    The way you behave yourself after this will either prove or disprove the guy if he has indeed told his fiends about the incident.

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  19. You started SMOKING WEED because you lost your virginity. Are you okay???

    It's becoming apparent that the only people in this country thoroughly mentally obsessed with sex and virginity are the virgins themselves.

    Why the fuck would losing your virginity send you on a downward self destructive spiral ?

    And not shaving is not a way to deter sex.

    Lots of men have sex with women that haven't shaved in ages every day.

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  20. Hmm,lost for words #mimiliciousmimi#

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  21. ladun what is this eh??...

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  22. Sorry to hear this. Well, you must move on. Life plays cruel tricks on us from time to time, but it goes on nonetheless. what has happened has happened, learn from it and move on. Going off the deep end because you lost your virginity in a not so pleasant way is not a good enough excuse. Stop weeding, stop getting pissed and focus on your studies and on having a more meaningful relationship in the nearest future.

    Also, change your circle of "friends". they set you up and you fell for it. their opinion on whether you are still a virgin or not does NOT count at all. You might also try to be brave enough to sue the chap who stole your virginity. sex without concent IS rape.

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  23. I would advice you to report your so called friend to the police... What happened to you is RAPE. No sugar coating it... Sex without both parties consent is Rape. I am glad you are in the UK where the police will actually do something about it. He should never be allowed to get away scott free with what he has done to you.
    I am sorry that your first sexual experience is such a horrible one. If you choose to live with it witout reporting it, you will pay the price for the rest of your life.

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  24. First of all d reason why u are in dis mess is because of ur dangerous ways and ur attitude. It not in my place to judge u or question ur decisions but the earlier u get urself together the better for u. Don't waste ur time wallowing in self pity, ur real friends would have set u up cos they knw u like getting wasted @ parties. My advice clean urself up, learn from ur mistake and try to be more careful.

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  25. Sounds like rape to me. Perhaps you should file a report in the police station

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  26. First of all d reason why u are in dis mess is because of ur dangerous ways and ur attitude. It not in my place to judge u or question ur decisions but the earlier u get urself together the better for u. Don't waste ur time wallowing in self pity, ur real friends would have set u up cos they knw u like getting wasted @ parties. My advice clean urself up, learn from ur mistake and try to be more careful.

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  27. My words to you are: Sorry my dear, please nxt time do not drink to stupor. If u werent so drunk im sure u wud have known wat to do. U sound quite young..so just b careful of lifez journey. Try not to feel downcast, God saw it all and he will send the rite one if u wait on him patiently.

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  28. Hmm, u wnt 2 remain a vg bt want 2 party n get drunk? 2 tins dat do nt go 2geda as in rong combinatn. Anyway, serves u ryt as d guy chop ur 'kpomo'

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  29. You lost your virginity at 20, you make it sound like you waited till age 40. Anyways, what's done is done. Get over it. Seriously, its no biggie

    I lost mine at age 21 and I remember the occassion with much fondness to date. You can decide to erase the unfortunate event with your friend from your memory. When you meet that special guy and you make love for the first time, declare that as your official deflowering day

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  30. Losing ur virginity is not the end of the world, most guys don't care for it anymore, and personally I think you need to talk to your friends about it, that will make it ease the pain... Am sure he probably told someone but they will hide it from you

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  31. Normally, I don't respond to this stuff but this struck a chord in me

    1. Whether or not you were drunk, nobody should have taken advantage of you, especially a "so-called friend". IT IS YOUR BODY AND YOUR RIGHT TO SAY NO! You have rights to take him to court but sadly, he'll probably get away because people tend to sweep this under the carpet. You should contact him to tell him your feelings and then CUT OFF all contact. Because a friend that doesn't respect you is no friend and is toxic

    2. I'm sorry this happened. Do get counselling. try to talk to a qualified therapist if you can, or get as much help. Stop suffering in silence.

    3. Your body is your own. I'm no virginity advocate (not at all) but I strongly believe that sex should be when YOU want it, to whom YOU want to. YOUR DECISION. You shouldn't feel that because you lost your virginity, that you are spoilt or done for because WOMEN have so much more to offer other than a hole between the legs.

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    Replies
    1. WONU: I like dis "WOMEN have so much more to offer other than a hole between the legs"

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  32. Hmmm what can I say? I am sorry about how u lost ur virginity but what will getting depressed and smoking weed change?
    †̥ђε̲̣̣̣̥ deed has been done my dear, don't compound ur problems by getting wasted, concentrate on ur studies and continue being †̥ђε̲̣̣̣̥ descent girl u have been don't let this one incident make u lose your true self.
    Wish u luck!!!

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  33. I'm not gonna blame you now, cos its useless doing that. You already have heaped enough blame on yourself. But candidly dear, you ve got a whole lifetime ahead of you. Your whole future, your destiny and I can tell you that your best days are ahead of you. It's bad enough but not worse. Don't destroy yourself for an ass of a guy. He doesn't deserve the credit of ruining your future. Disappointments, setbacks and pain come in different packages, once you unwrap one, keep moving. This episode or experience of yours should be considered as one chapter in your unwritten biography. Don't punish yourself further by getting fucked this weekend. It may spell your Waterloo. It may be the beginning of the end for you. Think of your future, your parents, your siblings and those whose life ought to be affected positively by your future if you eventually get there safely. Don't sweat the small stuff. Dump weed, dump dicks, dump guys for now and face what's important. Your whole life is ahead of you and generations are waiting for you to evolve. Ciao.

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  34. Hello dear, please dont take it hard on yourself.You just have to move on.I know it hurts you but the deed has been done.You could go for a medical check up and find out your hymen was not broken and that still makes you a virgin.Kindly drop the weed taking and other dangerous stuff ure engaged in cos of what happened.You mite be doing yourself more harm than good.

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  35. Jst talk to urself & stay away from dat guy... All is well

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  36. Apparently staying sober was not part of the plan.Maybe after getting messed up this weekend you'll contact HIV then come to bore us with another silly story.Kindly grow up. Ur first priority should be to lay off the booze.Flash alert u r no more a virgin so maintaining a decent propriety should help make the "real one" special.KMT
    Slow news day eh ladun?

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  37. Apparently staying sober was not part of the plan.Maybe after getting messed up this weekend you'll contact HIV then come to bore us with another silly story.Kindly grow up. Ur first priority should be to lay off the booze.Flash alert u r no more a virgin so maintaining a decent propriety should help make the "real one" special.KMT
    Slow news day eh ladun?

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  38. U know who took advantage of u, why don't u get the police involved in it. Good thing u live in England, the case will be taken seriously. U can also call a rape helpline where u'll get loads of advise and cancelling.

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    Replies
    1. I think she likes him so she wud nt wnt to contact d police. Just sayin

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  39. Since you are in the uk up you should report this. You were raped the guy must pay for it.

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  40. That's what u get when hang out with crazy peeps especially when alcohol is involved.You have been running away from sex for a while after getting intoxicated but that very day was your judgement day.Besides why would u think a bushy vajajay would make a man back off?LOL..Next time choose your friends wisely and create a personal curfew for yourself.

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  41. Now u r just being silly, kmt. Stop using losing ur virginity as an excuse to live a rowdy life. I lost my Virginity to a stupid guy I Neva felt anything for but doesnt mean I will drink nd smoke. Get over ur self girl. You r smoking coz u want to or something else is wrong. If you really care about the saving the best things you have for the right guy, then I advise u stop smoking, it is not lady like, neither would any guy want to have a further relationship with u if u get drunk constantly at parties. You have made a mistake so grow up from except if u off course wanna get drunk and have another one night stand which is ok in your case, coz u r turning into is bad wretch already. Good luck with moving on and stay blessed

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  42. In essence, are yuou saying he raped you? If you are in the UK and it happened there, go straight and report him to the police. He needs his foolish ass banged up in jail and has to share in your pain and shame. Do it NOW!

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  43. sorry my dear shit happens

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  44. Sex or abstinence from sex is not the beginning and the end of your life. Go get STD and pregnancy tested, admit you made a mistake, go for counselling if necessary and available. Then learn from your mistake and move on. Or you want to commit suicide because you had sex, right?
    Welcome to the real world. Grow up.

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  45. Good thing about being in the uk, is that rape is a serious matter and that my girl is rape. There are helplines to call and you will be assisted. Also make a report to the police, while he might not be charged, but he will be warned and hopefully deter him from doing that to another female. But best of all, the police would refer u to trained counsellors.
    Good luck.

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  46. Babe, it has happened, it has happened, u gats to move on! its unfortunate it happened that way but heck thats d way life is ok. stay strong n try not to put urself in such situations anymore, stay celibate (if possible) but the right guy will defintly appreciate u virgin or not. cheers.

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  47. You have no idea how stupid you sound....leaving yourself vulnerable to liquor...you left your flanks open anyway dont touch alcohol again except in the safety of your bedroom..the hymen grows back after a long time you will heal as new so not a virgin but tight as hell. keep your head high...dont feel guilty.. keep being positively focussed...all the best.

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  48. There are so many young girls like u. Who wanna be in vogue, do the things youths do and hold on to their pride as a woman. I must commend you for keeping it this far. Its really not your fault, when we were all younger! We would say we would keep our virginity till we get married, but we are not always aware of certain situations and scenarios. I know some people will say u encouraged it. But I would say sometimes the way certain things happen seems like it was meant to happen! Being a virgin does not mean u will have the best marriage or the best husband. Been disvirgined does not make u less a woman either. So what would u say about girls who were brutally raped. Look everybody has a bit of a neurotic problem. A lot of people think because I serve God, bad things should not happen to me. Because I have a good character, I should be loved by everybody, because I go to church and pay tithes God must answer all my prayers yours is because u planned to keep your virginity and u are not promiscuous, this kind of thing should not happen to you right? My dear, u have just slept wiv one man, and I wish I was as clean as u are. Many women have been having sex since when they were 13, from that age till 25 they must have slept wiv over 50 abled men, doesn't stop them from marrying good husbands! Please nothing was lost, plenty was gained.

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    Replies
    1. My sake u make sense die I like u are u a male/female?

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  49. Too late now!!..just keep fucking as you intend to this weekend!!..

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  50. Ode oshi, u can do all ds 2 kip ur virginity n u were stupid enuf 2 gt drunk @ a party u were alone in.very stupid of u.den u r nw smokin weed bcos? Biko carry ur stupidity elsewhere?

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  51. My dear trust me I understand ur pains. But one thing we can't do os 2 turn back d hands of time. Look @ d bright side of things @least u weren't gang rapped cos I'm sure dat in itself is a pain u can neva recover from. Yes u wanted 2 b a virgin until u met dat special one, sorry ur plan wa twated by alcohol. But I beg of u don't let ur life be destroyed by weed, n hard drugs. Its one thing 2 loose ur virginity with d wrong one n its another thing to let ur life end. For d wrong reason n d wrong way. As for ur partner maybe he's ashamed of himsel n dnt knw how 2 talk 2 u abt wat happened. I suggest u ask him whenever u see him next if he got some minutes 2 talk n den bare ur mind. U hav nottin 2 b ashamed of,as he's d one dat does.try2 keep ur head up cos sooner or later ur friends mite find out abt it. N yes u can tell dem its ur decesion n dey shd respect it as u can only confide in one person amongst them dat is ur true friend wat really happened. Best wishes...Oge

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  52. Keeping shit real26 September, 2012 20:11

    There is a whole life out there apart from sex. And pls dont listen to holier than thou people or pastor because if you check their life, not only are they not practising what they preach, they have much much further than the average.

    Cut back on alcohol, start exercises (it releases a feel good hormone that radiates in your face and body) engage in other social activities, throw yourself into your studies, help people who are less fortunate than you are and just be happy about your life.Dont go with a man just for sex, look for other worthy reasons to be with him, you only can control who you sleep with.

    You certainly will find a man who will settle with you just for you.Guess what, he self wont be a pure and holy man.(Avoid holier than thou men abegi! I mean men full of scriptures but no substance in their life)

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  53. my dear dnt loose ur brain and ur life too simply bcos u lost ur virginity besides if u stil keep urself frm now on u re stil a virgin cos as long as that place is very tight u are a virgin d only different is that there wount be blood anymore which even in some cases blood dnt cm out d same day u disvirgined till d next day,so my dear u can stil answer a virgin ahead if u wnt as long as is stil tight which i knw is stil cos is only one dick that just cross so dnt let another dick cross there ok?pretend noting ever happen to u and moved on virginity is nt a crown or a gurantee that ur future husband wil love u no,is just for d name only,so what must be must be move on.

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    Replies
    1. This is very true dear,you can still call yoursef a virgin don't be sad I was once in a similar situation,mine was two fingers!I was hurt when I entered the bathroom and and saw blood.Allfrom a guy I ddnt even like fingering me with two fingers I lost my virginity!I wanted to die but guess what?I kept it to myself and never let anyone touch me for a while!when I finally had real sex I was as tight as ever and I simply told my bf my hymen broke while I was on my period one of thee little accident one encounter during your period!so dear don't be sad *hugs* uwil get over it trust me...just say ur hymen broke accidentally bcs trust me if u wait after for a while before u have sex uwil still be very tight..xx

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  54. dear if really u were a virgin one round dick is nt enough to disvirgin u cos i could remenber d day of mine i did nt get disvirgined that same day cos d dick refused to enter and i was 19 then year 2005,my friend tryed and tryed yet there was no way even after aplying d whole cream in d whole world,and i cried alot in pains that almost d neigbors came to my rescue, then d next day same ting d dick couldn't enter til d 3rd times was when a dick finally entered in full, so my dear i dnt tink u are disvirgined yet if really u were a virgin check urself very well u might stil hv ur virginity.

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  55. sweetheart i feel your pain, i really do, mine happened 2yrs ago and was a friend as well. A little bit more complicated than urs cos I was not drunk. my advice is to nt bottle the emotions up, talk to your SENSIBLE friends and your siblings if you are close to them or if you have any, i got thru mine bcos of them, you should also truly forgive the person and most importantly forgive yourself, that's the most important part of moving on. I wunt tell u it gets better immediately after all this but with time you will be fine

    One thing for sure is that you wunt feel better going out and getting wasted.

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  56. come on, you people it's not about the virginity per se. whenever you lose the virginity, every girl wants it to be good not some rough play on the beach woth someone you won't be able to face the following day. She didn't say she was saving it for marriage

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  57. Hey. Thanks for the mostly positive and encouraging comments. I just have a couple of things to say:
    I had a heart to heart talk with my family and told them what happened because i could not put it behind me and i got a lot of advice from them. My mum is absolutely livid but i am sure she will come around sometime. I have decided to stop drinking and smoking too. I am just laying low for the time being and trying to forget about everything. I got a pregnancy test done. Im not pregnant! I also went for Std checks but the results aint out yet. Fingers crossed.
    I think the reason why i feel sorry for myself is because i think i wasted all that time for nothing and I have also never worked hard at anything like this in my life before. But now i am wiser because physically i may not be a virgin but i am still a virgin at heart.
    It is kinda funny that someone posted about my judgement day arrived that night, and it is so true because i was so used to getting drunk but getting home safely for so long. I guess nemesis caught up with me.
    Another thing i will like to point out is that i dont think he raped me but what he did was absolutely wrong in every way. I am going to talk to him this weekend about it. Wish me luck.
    If anything else happens i will let you guys know.
    Thanks Ladun.

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    Replies
    1. Pele my dear, I was also wondering if the voltrons screaming rape read a different story

      IMO, you shouldn't confront him. You should just let him be. Quite frankly, its possible you were so drunk that you begged him to make love to you. Alcohol is crazy like that.

      Good luck. Stay off alcohol and drugs. Partying and sex too, for some time

      Delete
  58. Hi dear, I don't think you should be too hard on yourself! You made a mistake and now you've realised; ask for forgiveness but even more important forgive yourself.

    I think it is more imperative that you realise it was a mistake, go back to sticking to your high values! The fact that you had sex ONCE or even one thousand times does not make you less of a person.

    By the way, you should wait for a good man who has strong morals and values like you so you don't keep jumping from one relationship to another; as this can be very emotionally tasking.

    I know tonnes of great born again Christian men who will not hold this one mistake against you! So, wait out for one who will respect you, your values and not hold that episode against you.

    I don't think the "desirable" thing about a celibate woman is the fact that she has never had sex but her will power and commitment; so don't feel let down.

    Don't feel down, depressed or let down, brush yourself up and make a promise to yourself; never to make this mistake ever again.

    Be careful about drinking and getting drunk; because it really can alter your decision making.

    All the best dear; God bless!

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  59. Idiot Abeg pass the mic , you lost your virginity nd immediately started smoking weed?! You have been. Bad girl all the while my dear,,, cos. good girl will be sober,, you no even start from cigar na weed!! Stupid useless story! Don't get over yourself..this isn't rape cos you realised when you were half naked,,, if you like grow a forest in your V,, Mtcweeeew Abeg ladun no be any how stories you go dey accept ooh!!

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    Replies
    1. You don vex, lol. Cool down, you are mixing the story up. The guy she was with when she was half naked was not the one who popped the cherry

      Delete
  60. when naija babes dey step down with awful nollywood movies, u enta weed and alchy. fashie sex worry abt ur liver and psychological/mental state

    alchocol and weed is whack!!! u dont even remember what happens after drinking, abi u wan graduate to kolo?

    and all dis hairy vagina kwa, did u skip biology? so immature!u need a thorough,sex education before more banging o

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  61. Abegall you guys aging go to police, no go destroy a young mans life, she was not unconscious he didn't drug her and not once did she say no.

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  62. Beach party, in the middle of autumn in UK weather? Odinma

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  63. I just knew it was u Miss leslie! Way to go girl!! That's d spirit! your mom will def come around! that's why they are mothers..
    Glad u have learned your lesson. Quit drinking and smoking! it's not even ladylike! Most importantly, move closer to God! He'll always be there even when family and friends leave!
    *kisses*

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  64. see ur life. na 4 beach dem do am 4 u.

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  65. @ 27 September, 2012 00:51

    What's your own with Madam M? Are you a lesbo? Maybe Madam M has been caught and sent out packing with her kids. She's probably licking her wounds in the slums of Lagos while her ex-bobo don dey bang another lagos punana cuz they plenty. lol.

    Me sef just bang one yesterday. You know how it is.

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  66. THE BEST YOU CAN DO NOW IS TO PUT THE PAST ASIDE AND FOCUSED RIGHT INTO YOUR FUTURE.LEARN FROM THE PAST AND DON'T GIVE A SECONDS CHANCE FOR IT TO REPEAT ITSELF.TRY AND PUT YOURSELF TOGETHER AND STOP THE KIND OF LIFE THAT PUT YOU IN THIS MESS. LASTLY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY U NEED THE GRACE OF GOD.PRAY FOR IT.
    SHALOM

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  67. Hmm schooling in the UK and recently invited to a beach party???? pls what beach would this be? just checking if your story is real...

    now that dude is a cunting man rat for taking advantage of you but then you also have to take responsibility for your actions. I'm sorry u lost something so precious to you. unfortunately drinking more and blazing will help temporarily but when you come off the high, you'd even feel more depressed (experience talking darlin).

    Let it GO!!! Move on. Shit happens. Make up your mind how you want to live going forward (sex or no sex). Goodluck Chicken!

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  68. It aint rape ooo,you must have enjoyed it jokes apart,it feels good when you are high,you too were tipsy or whatever and that's it,let it go,no one dies a virgin life screws us all,come to think of it you a virgin and go for such kinda things what do you expect. Sorry sha.

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