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Friday, December 7, 2012

28-Year-Old Kenyan Businesswoman Commits Suicide in Britain Because She Was Tired of Living Alone

A glamorous 28-year-old businesswoman killed herself because she struggled to cope with living alone in Britain with her family dispersed across the world, an inquest heard yesterday.
Sales manager Sharon Bukokhe, of Levenshulme, Manchester, was a high achiever working for a family planning charity but felt lonely because relatives including her husband lived abroad.

Mrs Bukokhe, who was originally from Kenya, used her laptop to research ways to commit suicide, applied full make up and painted her nails then suffocated herself at her flat in April.
A diary found after her death said:

‘I think that any life is as valid as the next, such that an ending of 25 is as good as 88. I have no real regrets or fears any more, I just feel decisive and justified.’


Mrs Bukokhe, who appeared to friends to be ‘the happiest person in the world’, settled in the UK in 2002 and graduated in design and engineering at Nottingham Trent University, the inquest heard. She was later appointed sales manager of a charity helping with family planning issues involving third world countries. But Mrs Bukokhe was deeply affected by her family living in other countries.

Her husband lived in South Africa so he could complete a Master’s Degree whilst her mother lived in Richmond, Virginia, in the US, and her sister lived in Canada.

Her only relative in Britain was her brother who lived 250 miles away in Gillingham, Kent and as a result of her feelings of loneliness she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
kkkk...


Mrs Bukokhe’s sister Caroline Lusiche, who flew in from Canada to be at the inquest in Manchester said: ‘There were many factors which led to it.

 'I think that any life is as valid as the next, such that an ending of 25 is as good as 88. I have no real regrets or fears any more, I just feel decisive and justified'

‘She was a high achiever, her marriage was also a big factor. She wanted it to succeed but he was in South Africa doing his masters. She moved and they decided to put that marriage on hold.

‘She had come here as a very young girl and it really affected her that we were all dispersed in different countries. In the last few days we had been trying to get back in touch with each other.

‘But because of the time difference- me in Canada - we kept missing each other. I sent her an email and did not hear back then I heard.

‘She was trying to be the one to bring the family together, she had a lot on her shoulders weighing on her. She had high objectives we were taught to hold our chin up and get on with it.‘She tried to persevere she wanted to do that to protect your feelings - she didn’t want to make you feel bad.’

'She was a high achiever, her marriage was also a big factor. She wanted it to succeed but he was in South Africa doing his masters. She moved and they decided to put that marriage on hold'Caroline Lusiche, Mrs Bukokhe's sister

Mrs Bukokhe’s flatmate of two years, Stefanie Maccalli, told the hearing: ‘She was a really artistic, creative person, very active - and I think everybody who didn’t know her particularly well found her the happiest person in the world.

‘I would say the creative and joy and artistic side was real but the happiness she was showing all the time was not always real. There were times when she was not this happy, outgoing person.

'The two years I knew her where divided into a two periods, the first she was taking medication for the bipolar and she was always very happy.

‘In the second part she changed the amount of medication. She would have ups and downs every few weeks. When low she would not like to talk too much and would take a day off work and stay in her room and watch movies.

‘We tried to open the door it wouldn’t open - it was obvious that it was closed from the inside. We decided to try and break the door, we looked inside and she was on the floor in front of the door.

‘She was dressed with make-up and her nails done, she looked like she had been somewhere nice or she was just going somewhere.’


 'When I found out it shocked me very much. She always put a brave face on, she said she did feel very lonely'Dr Javaid Khan, Mrs Bukokhe's doctor

The inquest was told Mrs Bukokhe had last seen her doctor, Dr Javaid Khan, in March this year.
He told the inquest that she had stopped taking her medication in January, and said she was feeling low and her sleep was variable and she had a lack of motivation.

Dr Khan said: ‘She was having suicidal thoughts but she could put them aside. She was not a severe type of manic depression, there was a low assessment of suicide.

‘When I found out it shocked me very much. She always put a brave face on, she said she did feel very lonely.’

Recording a verdict of suicide, Deputy Coroner for Manchester Carolyn Singleton said: ‘I’m sure that Sharon intended to kill herself.’

30 comments:

  1. people should always choose their loved ones over money and their jobs everytime. happiness is sessential in life. especially if it affects you so much like this woman. and she looks like she's in her 40's not 25.

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    1. olodo do u need glasess?how can u say that litle girl looks 40? otondo.

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  2. 'Living' Aunty Ladun. Your headline.

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  3. happy yoruba bunny07 December, 2012 11:56

    loneliness->anxiety->depression->suicide
    very common with people living abroad
    if i tell you what staying on blogs has done n my life, its n no small measure otherwise one wl just die of boredom

    i used to wait on people to bring me city people,ovation from naija which could take years but wt logs i dont even need those anymore, to all hardworking bloggers and Ladun God bless u richly and u help put smiles and hope to our lives!

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    1. Loneliness can kill

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    2. Ladun u dont know how impt ur blog is, u need to put in more effort and work harder and the sky wkll be ur limit.

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  4. Ladun summarise na.....must u copy and paste the whole thing. Kmt

    Back to d topic, it can be lonely abroad , I wonder why she didn't quit and move to south africa. Job is not everything and she would have been happier with family . Rest in peace

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    Replies
    1. Maybe her husband told her not to move.

      RIP.

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  5. She had suicidal thoughts and you still didn't section her? Someone should investigate Dr Khan because everyone knows bipolar patients can be very deceptive. She didn't kill herself because she was lonely she killed herself because she was sick and depressed.

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    1. My thoughts exactly o. Her illness was responsible for the suicide. All these fake attention grabbing headlines sef!

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  6. Living abroad can be very lonely especially if you move here as an adult. I cried throughout my first semester and was depressed even though I practically lived on skype with my siblings and boyfriend but it aint the same.

    Feel for the lady's family, it sure will be a dark period for them and may her soul find rest at last

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    1. mehn, i live in the UK now and i'm just done with school and running back to naija....for those of u rushing to live abroad, make una no run mad out of loneliness, d life here is so lonely, frustrating and regimented, depression is very easy cos the system is sooooo hard, NO WHERE LIKE NAIJA, stay at home and hustle, here u pay half of ur income as tax, the rest as bills, rent of a one tiny room in a flat is about N100,000 monthly. not a joke, excluding, water, light, council tax, parking fees, feeding and others. a word is enuf

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  7. Ladun's biggest fan07 December, 2012 13:33

    May she RIP. Another Daily Mail story i guess.

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  8. So d doctor knew about her suicidal thots and did nothn to help her! O ma ga o.

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  9. R.I.P, such a sad ending! Her smile is so beautiful! That nobody can suspect wats going on inside of her. enhhhh!

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  10. May her gentle soul rest in perfect peace,this shld also teach some people dat money can't buy love,joy,peace and happiness.Thank God for d gift of life and my family.

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  11. Patients with bipolar disorders and usually have suicidal tendecies therefore it is necessary to have someone around almost everytime

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  12. na so e be oh...even if she killed herself due to being depressed and ill, the fact still remains that living in the UK is very lonely...i live with my hubby but havent seen him since monday....we work seperate hours so can only speak via email, calls or texts...i can imagine if i was alone here...it would be tough...

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  13. Zinnia:

    Depression, loneliness. And boredom aren't good for the human soul.

    I've been there and I know how it feels. Thank GOD for browsing. If not, I wonder why would have happened to me.

    Loneliness isn't something to be joked with.

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  14. To take one's life must be a very tough decision. I understand loneliness but I just don't know why people can't make themselves happy...take a break; go on holiday; make new friends; get a new hobby....the list is endless. The truth is, u could be surrounded by people & still be lonely....that's why it's important to do things that'll make U HAPPY. Be selfish every once in a while...before u lose ur mind. Depression is real.

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    1. its not as easy as u think, even if u do all ds things, if u dnt have inner happiness den u cnt be complete. You have to be happy, and most people abroad arent happy, especially in the U.s *sigh*

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  15. I am here to tell you all that with Jesus you can pull through. Even sometimes when you are surrounded by people abroad, but live away from true friends and family you tend to still feel lonely and alone. You need to build a closer relationship with Christ to get through those cold nights and lonely thoughts. Many times I look out of my window at work at 5pm and its so dark and depressing already. I have co-workers and several acquaintances and still feel alone. But you find that as you move closer to God you have a joy from within that takes away every sprit of heavyness or lonelyness. It can get boring yes but rather be bored than lonely.

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    1. We are not all Christians!!! Good advice though hopefully your Christian peeps would take heed.
      If all else fails socialize, keep in touch with friends and family

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    2. I was about to say the same thing. Thank you. Only Jesus can save anyone. After all, ppl living with a loving family and have good close friends still commit suicide. All this 'depression' and 'bipolarity' are just another names for demons. I mean, she had friends, a good job and was living well so....

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  16. Very sad indeed. You guys pls visit www.raqueldaily.blogspot.com and share your thoughts

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  17. Well spoken @ bipols and deps are all demons, if u dont fight them very hard like me, they will destroy u.

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