Monday, January 14, 2013

How Do I Let Go of the Only Guy I Have Ever Loved?

I have been reading your blog for a while now. Please, I need your readers candid advice on this issue. I met this really hot guy in a bbm group and we hit off immediately. He wanted a relationship but we couldn't have one cos of the distance. He lives in New York and I, Nigeria. We kept in touch though. He was in Nigeria recently and we met briefly. He was everything I wanted in a guy. He's a god literally.


Imagine my horror when I walked into my dad's family house and saw him sitting with my grandma and my dad. The look on his face was indescribable when my dad introduced me as his daughter. We had not met earlier cos my dad stopped talking to his elder sister (his mum) way before they got married over some stupid mistake my aunt made.

Apparently, he came back to settle the dispute between the family members. Now, he says he's in love with me. We were always together through out our stay in my country home (our parents think it's the same bond his mum and my dad shared when they were younger that extended to us). How do I tell my family that I have been intimate with my cousin and that I'm in love with him? God knows I have done my best to forget about him but it's just not working. I think about him all the time and he's having the same problem! How do I let go of the only guy I have ever loved? I'm so confused!

86 comments:

palo said...

Mtscheeeeeeewwww u see how long †̥ђε̲̣̣̣̥ hiss is? Mtscheeew still hissing.
Don't leave him go ahead and commit incest u hear? Stupid story so all †̥ђε̲̣̣̣̥ time u guys where chatting on bbm, u didn't talk about ur families abi? Ode!! Love ko! Lust ni! Annoying thing.mtscheeeeeeeewwww

Anonymous said...

before God smite you two with a curse, his your first cousin for Gods sake, yall's kids will have genetic problems, plus it is wrong in the eyes of the lord.Infact consider yourselves brother and sisters, it cannot happen, you better force yourself to forget, before you two go any further, it is the devil at work, fight the temptation, start seeing him like ur brother cuz that is what he is to you.

Tatafo said...

you slept with your cousin? this one pass me...am done!

Austin Uche said...

Its not ur fault for falling in love or being intimate wiv ur cousin, bcos u didnt know.... Buh pls for ur own good
1) After findin out he is ur cousin, theres no way u can still be in love wiv this dude
2) U nid to go to ur pastor for series of prayers and deliverance and forgiveness of sins for both ur parents and aunt, and also for being intimate wiv ur cousin
3) U nid to make sure u stopp every form of contact wiv dis cousin of urs
May God help ya

Chika** said...

Honey, for the fact he is your cousin, should make you forget about him. You shouldn't be thinking about love now. May God help you!!!

Mary said...

just take it that when u heard, he died and doesnt exist anymore...... Close that door, when u spend so long looking at that door, u wont see the other open doors

Anonymous said...

na wa oh .... if you were hebrew now you can marry him but Nigerians, noooo

Kay said...

whahala dey oh!

Anonymous said...

Hian! How we wan take advice you against Incest? Y☺u know the obvious mƴ dear, you need to face the harsh reality. Come off it.

Anonymous said...

Damn!!! U jst v to change d love to a Godly and brotherly love. Look 4 a good frnd of urs to hook him up with nd he shld do d same for u tooo

Anonymous said...

*singing* This is Superstory ..

Anonymous said...

Wale Adenuga Production...this is a super story!

Anonymous said...

Water don pass gari

Anonymous said...

that is so terrible i can imagine what you are going tru, but my dear, you cant marry a family member...pls move on, your own man is around the corner

Anonymous said...

you have to let him go, it is wrong to be sleeping with your family member, forgive yourself for sleeping with him and keep it to yourself. Imagine you start dating him and you guys break up over some mess, what happen then u start pretending like you are cousins again?

Anonymous said...

Intimate? U fucked him already? Then its harder to forget. But if you put your mind to it, you can do it. Tell yourself over and over again that he's your cousin. Occupy your time with activities you enjoy, make new friends, learn new hobbies/games/sports, write a book etc

BTW, I almost didn't believe this story, then I remembered something similar happened to someone I know

Anonymous said...

didn't you think it's weird that you guys have the same last name? abi you just fu.k your cousin and enjoy the di.ck and you don't want to give it up?

Anonymous said...

Please o, on this blog, we say it as it is. No time for sugar coating the truth.

Please confirm:

1. "We met briefly". Does that mean you slept with him briefly?

2. "We were always together through out our stay in my country home". Does that mean you continued sleeping with him under your father's roof?

3. Let's assume your father never even told you about him or his mum. This guy came to settle the family quarell so he knew your grandma's name, your father's name and address, did your name not ring a bell with him? Did you not discuss respective places of origin?

And your father is so unforgiving he didn't speak to his sister in 20 years? 30 years? More than?

COOL STORY!

Anonymous said...

Intimate? U fucked him already? Then its harder to forget. But if you put your mind to it, you can do it. Tell yourself over and over again that he's your cousin. Occupy your time with activities you enjoy, make new friends, learn new hobbies/games/sports, write a book etc

BTW, I almost didn't believe this story, then I remembered something similar happened to someone I know

happy Yoruba bunny said...

R u for real?
Eyes rolling

Anonymous said...

You are committing incest and still talking. How old are you? The devil has taken over. Move on to the next dick and you will realize it's sweeter. Abi is it the kpali you are really after? You are cursed if you don't know.

Anonymous said...

You better forget about him young lady... You can't get married to ure cuz and peeps can't hear u say ure in love with him.

Anonymous said...

TRY HARDER!!!!! ITS AN ABORMINATION!!!!
#rock gurl#

Anonymous said...

Ah safe journey.

Michael Ikenwe said...

you just have to cos i am pretty sure there's no where in Nigeria where cousins are allowed to marry. forgive yourself and find a way to move on. distract yourself with another guy

Ugo Boss™ said...

Miss lover woman. I think that the fear that he is my cousin alone will drop my dirty luv for him to 20%...#myopinion

Anonymous said...

Dumb tin 2 say, free ur cousin jor!!!

Anonymous said...

I feel ur pain but u have to forget him and tell ur family. Pray for forgiveness to.
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Le Toya said...

Well..Just Let Go Of Him I Guess.
You Don't Need A Long Epistle To Know The 'Why' Of It.

Ngozika Blog said...

Pathetic...but then, its as simple as ABC, forget him and move on. And I believe this is the hand work of devil (lolz) for letting you stay lonely until it connects you to your cousin.

You better let go, in fact fear ought to have made you develop dislike for him by now, or are you thinking of getting married to him? Is he another Michael Jackson or Justin Bieber that you can't let go? What's your problem? There are better guys than him in all qualities out there, so free your mind and move on gurl!

Anonymous said...

Please can you introduce me to the BBM chat group? Help a sister!

kendra said...

Sweetie,wake up and smell the coffee.. He's ur cousin! I won't say harsh words to u cos at the time u met with him first,u didn't know he was ur cousin,but now u know.. Don't just forget him but erase every thought of u and him 2geda....

Its a big tabooo.. So help urself and let ur future help u

Yinka Florens said...

Its bn happening b4,so no b new tin,jus try nd 4get him.

Anonymous said...

Mschewwwww, oshi ati iranu!! Go and drink hypo bleach, dats d solution...

OCHIDI JOSEPH said...

SORRY, YOU JUST HAVE TO LET IT GO FOR THE FACT THAT HE IS YOUR COUSIN. IN OUR CULTURE, IT IS AN ABORMINATION TO INDULGE IN ANY INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH ANY OF YOUR RELATIONS. JUST WIPE THAT TOUGHT OUT OF YOU AND OPEN YOUR HEART TOWARDS ANOTHER.

Anonymous said...

For christ sake, this man is your first cousin that alone should be a turn off. I know its not gonna be easy but just accept he's ur cousin n whenever u think about him think of it as an abomination, with time am sure you'll start letting go. N pray bout it. God will strengthen you.

Anonymous said...

Hmm,...dis is africa,u can be a strong girl and leave him now,u maynt lk d effects of taboo later !as much as u adore dis guy,he may nt b wot u really need,don't be in want of wot d present has to offer,u will find someone else ok

Anonymous said...

Speechless!!!

Anonymous said...

Yikes! Mehn! K! If he were a distant cousin, would ve said go ahead ( my friend's parents r distant cousins). M̶̲̅ε̲̣ thinks U̶̲̥̅̊ shud forget bout him.

Anonymous said...

remember ur kids. ask urself if u would forgive ur self if your kids experience complications. i'd never say u are wrong but i'd encourage u to find out what the right thing to do is for urself and spare nothing to actually do it. Good luck Ma'am

Anonymous said...

How cn u be inlove with ur cousin das abormination (insets), u better snap out of it quick. Hiss

Anonymous said...

Knock that silly thought out of your head, you can let go! We all can! The thought of it seems scary but there's life outside/after someone & most times its a Better Life! X.

Anonymous said...

Stop being confused,and get it straight, u can neva marry him. 4get it cos he's ur cousin.

Anonymous said...

There is o! Northern Nigeria. They do it very well there. In fact, their first wives are supposed to be their cousins

Anonymous said...

U both should convert to islam nd get married,islam is a religion of peacend freedom


Anonymous said...

How can they have the same last name when its his Mum that's her father's Sister?

Anonymous said...

Ode!!! They can't av d same last name.... His mother is her father's sister. When she married his father, her surname must av changed. Nansense....

Anonymous said...

Ode ni e, anumanu. Ewu! Always in a hurry to comment. How can they have the same last name? Will a woman retain her maiden name after marriage? The girls father and the boys mum are siblings!!! *ewure ibiye* (˘̯˘ )

Anonymous said...

How much av u made so far? And how much of ur soul av u sold?

Anonymous said...

The Sex might make it harder but you can forget him only if you are willing.

It will help if you start another relationship ASAP

Anonymous said...

Read dear fellow, how can they have the same name when its her dad's sister? Ofcourse their surnames are different!!!!

Anonymous said...

Longthroat!

Anonymous said...

LooooooooooooooooooL. Insets korh insects ni lol
*work no pay*

Anonymous said...

The Sex might make it harder but you can forget him only if you are willing.

It will help if you start another relationship ASAP

Anonymous said...

How can they have the same last name when its his Mum that's her father's Sister?

FEDERAL POLYTECHNIC OKO 3RD BATCH HND ADMISSION LIST FOR 2012/2013 HAS BEEN RELEASED said...

Pray to God to remove such feeling from you. There's nothing He cannot do.

Hello Kitty said...

Loooooool. Good answer!

Anonymous said...

Simple advice,convert to islam nd get married.islam supposed marryin cousins 100%.my religion is a religion of peace.now in a big mess thinkin dat wat u r doin is an abormination.if u r muslims ur parents will overjoyed whn they get to knw u r in luv wit each other.nd 1 secret dear if u marry ur cousin ul hv no or less marital problems bcos u both knw u r frm dsame family

Hello Kitty said...

Honey they dont share the same last name. his mother is her father's sister. focus.

BonkoINC said...

Master uche u try.....well in a nut shell she needs me....Lemme format her mind lolz..tinx dey hapun sha!

Anonymous said...

He's ur blood there's notin u can do abt dat.

Anonymous said...

is an insect my dear, pls he is not meant for u, go out dere and search for ur man

Anonymous said...

Dindinrin agba! You are obviously not a muslim

Anonymous said...

Insect???

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:03 insect huh? Well ts incest ok? Thank me later.And 4u seeking advice y wld u even f**k some1 u met on bbm without gettin 2knw some basic thgs bout him...Oga o ladies of nowadays sha, well jst 4gt bout him n move on what is done is done already so get a life.

Anonymous said...

There's no excuse for sleeping with ur cousin..it's a sin against God..There's a reason pre-marital sex is a sin...the marriage bed undefiled..please repent!

Anonymous said...

silly you! how can they share the same surname wen her father and his mum are siblings

Anonymous said...

Insect ko,reptile ni!

Anonymous said...

Some of you just come here and spew rubbish, someone is in pain and asking ur advice and u ppl r insulting her. Did she ask to fall in love with her cousin? Dis thing happens with seperated siblings, they meet and fall in love.
My dear its not easy @ all but u just have to move on

Anonymous said...

Not just annoying but this story is not true, am sure she lives in the uk and she edited the story line from Eastenders. Rubbish. Girl get a life this is Eastenders story line an it's ongoing. And last night episode made may u write this, cause it getting more crazy. And I could recall discussing the topic early wit one of my team @ work.

Anonymous said...

U dnt nid to say anything, do u? Hmm!

Anonymous said...

So he came to Nigeria and met a girl who bore d same name as his mums maiden name, from the same origin and didn't ask questions abi? Dude must be slow as fuck. Except the fucked on the first day hehehehe...

Anonymous said...

Very possible my dad doesnt talk to one of his siblings hasnt even seen her in like 25yrs, only one of them talks to the sister so she gives the others updates about her and vice versa. its a running joke in my family to ask any guy or girl you meet about his mother, where shes from and all

Anonymous said...

What is a sin against God? Foolish people.its only in Africa that it is a major problem because of our extended family system....even in our mAtrimonial laws in Nigeria,cousin is not a forbidden degree of relationship...as for bible,point a place where it was written that it is wrong? Abram married his half sister?isaac nko.jacob married his cousin.even Mary n Joseph were cousins or somewhat related.before pouring out your insults,I dare any of you to give me a bible verse?or chapter.n did God strike anyone down for that? Even medically,theres no evidence or case of cousins giving birth to deformed babies in the first generation of birthing.it is only continuous and sustained practice that leads to that.....

I'm not saying you should continue or not(cos you know the moralists here make things sound so easy without any sympathy) but I'm just stating facts

Anonymous said...

Babe, you can't forget him? na so him prick sweet pass? Girlfriend! getdafuckoutofherefast! God will forgive you cos whatever you did before seeing him in your village (Drop d country home crap) but so long as you have seen that d same blood runs thru your veins i suggest you forget about the only guy u have ever love bullfuckingshit! Do you not fear God? Do you not respect your parents?
Well, i don't blame you, u are an oversexed nincompoop! As e show from yankee you don already pucrash am? girl u sharp o. if only you had waited to know him better this should never have been an issue. But you just had to have him abi?
Except you are saying that the being intimate isn't/wasn't the sexual intimacy but your bbm and pings falls into all these other definitions of intimate.

1.Marked by close acquaintance, association, or familiarity
2.Having or fostering a warm or friendly and informal atmosphere
3.Having mutual interests or affections; of established friendship
4.Someone to whom private matters are confided

Anonymous said...

Leviticus 18 - 6 "None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness, i am the lord"

Anonymous said...

You need Bible school. God and foolish should not be used in the same place.
Read Leviticus, Samuel (Absalom etc.)
When God first created humans they were genetically perfect and incest was not harmful and the only way for them to procreate at first. After the flood, a layer of water that was on top of the atmosphere was emptied, it was what protected the sun's rays from damaging Human DNA. Before the flood people could live for a very long time and were very large in size and so was everything else like the trees and plants, everything was supersize: Methuselah the oldest person on earth was 969 years old. After the flood the sun's rays shortened the human lifespan dramatically and there came a point at which incest could no longer be allowed because it was harmful and God forbade it.

Anonymous said...

Well it was not regulated until the Law of Moses - and that prohibited it. So from Adam to Moses, it was allowed. But it was no incest at the time. Intermarriage would better describe it. You cannot break a law where there is no law to break.
Dumb person Anon 16.53

Anonymous said...

Ephesians Chapter 6
Matthew Chapter 18
Romans Chapter 1
2 Timothy Chapter 3
Galatians Chapter 5
James Chapter 1
I will not add verses. Read all the chapters and find it there yourself. I am sure incest is your thing. I forgot you are a Northerner. In Christianity it is forbidden okay.
You sound like an illiterate when you talk about even medically. Do your research and educate yourself on genetics.

Anonymous said...

Desperate house gurl hisssss

Anonymous said...

Lol na mac auto correct do am no b she

thebanquethall.blogspot.com said...

You can do anything if you put your mind to it. Ask God to help you.

Please make some time for God, visit www.thebanquethall.blogspot.com
Do like us on Facebook. God bless you.

Anonymous said...

Format her mind ke? Una no go kill person with laugh.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 19:59.....u stated that God forbade it without backing it up with any verse or bible quotation....where did God forbid marrying your cousin.all these tales about metuselah lack merit.tell me where it was forbidden? Incest is forbidden but to the Jews and I tell you,even to this day,marriage to your cousin is not incest to them.....what God condemned was Lot's daughters sleeping with him...even the story of absalom,he was condemned for raping his half sister not marrying his cousin.this my dear is a common practice in the middle east from time immemorial ....my point exactly?condemn something based on its merit.dont condemn it with the bible because you'll be surprised wat you'll see

Anonymous said...

Anon 20:05....not to take much of your time.ephesians talks about edification of the church.matthew about looking at a woman lustfully,Romans n Timothy about what the early church faced in lystra,antioch and lust generally,Galatians about the fruits of the holy spirit...I see you're the type that likes pulling verses for show.a good product of good pastoring but my dear,you're no bible scholar.nowhere in your quotations did God or the apostles or Jesus condemn marrying your cousin.expressly,impliedly or even remotely....

Now take your pen out and take notes
Genesis 24:12-51__isaac married his first cousin rebekkah as God commanded
Genesis 28-29----Jacob took his two cousins Leah and racheal as wives
Numbers 36-----Zelophehad's five orphaned daughters were commanded to marry thier first cousins
1 chronicles 23:22....eleazar's daughter married 1st cousin as instructed
Leviticus 18....the degree of prohibitions were listed by God but nowhere was cousin mentioned
And in the new testament,nowhere and I mean nowhere was it condemned.Quote me pls.feel free
You speak as if being a northerner is bad,sad,considering you're so faithful.one would think you're the shiny example of ecumenical thinking....and feel free to call me an illiterate,I mean,how would Einstein sound to a cobbler?like a ranting mad man
I don't argue just to win.i do it to educate.i repeat,in the matrimonial causes act of Nigeria,the forbidden degrees of marriage were listed and cousin wasn't part of it.medically,I repeat,it doesn't lead to mutation of the genes in the 1 st or 2nd instance.it is sustained practice.if so,All d ancestors of the English would have been imbeciles.if you tell me our culture forbids it,il be quiet but telling me it's in the bible.......lol.no way

Anonymous said...

anon 18:26 thank you jare. till today jews don't have any problem marrying their cousins. A lot of the things people say are cultural not spiritual.