Anne Darwin went along with John Darwin 's outrageous scheme to fake his own death to claim the insurance in 2002, but the pair were both convicted of fraud in 2008.
In her book, serialised in the Daily Mail , she writes: "As the world now knows, my husband and I had inflicted the cruellest possible deception on those we loved by pretending he had drowned so we could claim the insurance money to pay off our debts.
"How could any mother sink so low? It is a question I ask myself daily.
"God knows what the boys would have thought of me had they known that their dad was alive and well inside the family home just a few yards behind us — possibly even watching from a window, for all I knew.
"I live with the shame of it every moment of my life."
In the tell-all book about the scheme, Anne reveals how John pushed the canoe out to sea to look as though it had capsized.
She then transported him to Durham railway station and reported him missing to the police.
After a while, John returned to the family home in Hartlepool and lived in a secret room attached to the house.
She says: “We kept this problem hidden from everyone, including our sons, but it was at the forefront of my mind all the time.”
Woman who joined her then hysband to deceive the wotld he was dead tells it all after her release from prison
Anne even went to the beach where John 'disappeared' and threw a floral wreath into the sea with her two children.
Since being released from prison, Anne has rekindled her relationship with her two children but has nothing to do with John.
In January this year the canoe conman was found living with his new wife in a cramped room in Manila on £138 a week.
The infamous fraudster’s new life is a far cry from the one he dreamed of after pretending to die at sea 14 years ago and fleeing to Panama.