Mr. 419: Hello, how are you?
Ayo: Fine. Please, who am I speaking with?
Mr. 419:Haba, don’t you remember me? Who do you know in
could be calling?
(Sensing a scam, I threw in a trap…)
Ayo: Johnson! Is that you? (meanwhile, I don’t know any Johnson in UK .)
(Thinking it’s a break, he swallows the bait)
Mr. 419 : Of course, this is Johnson! How come you didn’t recognise
my voice initially?
(Certain it’s a scam, I decided to punish him verbally and
financially. I had the time that morning so I was going to assist him
waste his call credit.)
Ayo: Jooooooohnson! Kai! Omo buruku gbaa ni o! (You are a specially
bad boy) Your father died, you didn’t so much as show up or send a
note. Omo a se iru e fun e! (Your children will repay you with such).
Didn’t you hear about his demise? He was so bitter and full of
original curses for you.
Mr. 419: (Obviously subdued) I didn’t hear. I would have come.
Ayo: Too bad. You heard your mama is leprous too? You didn’t hear
about that, abi?
Mr. 419: (Now uncomfortable) No, I didn’t hear.
Ayo: (Enjoying myself thoroughly). Too bad. Is your wife that
foolish too? Not even a word from her after you folks married without
our blessings? If the husband is not wise, is the wife lame-witted
Mr. 419: She’s fine. I’m certain she’ll get across to you. There’s an issue…
(..breaking in before he begins his story)
Ayo: Johnson, O se mi o: (you offended me). I sent you money to buy
me a car and you just disappeared. When am I having my money back?
You want me to curse you too like your father did? I don’t have his
kind of patience I’m sure you know. I won’t wait that long before I
give you what you deserve.
Mr. 419: (Grunted). This issue is important…
Ayo: Shut up!!! When are you sending money home? Haba! We sent you to
school, clothed you and sent you abroad… Are you now a 419?
Stealing from me your friend too. Your father was right to curse
you… And you can’t escape it if you continue like this. It’s not a
Mr. 419: I’ll repay you.
After about 15 minutes of moves and countermoves…I owned up.
Ayo: See Mr. 419, I don’t know any Johnson in UK . I just needed to
teach you a lesson. Go get a proper job.
Mr. 419: Were! Oloriburuku! Lo ti n sepe fun mi lat’aaro! (Madman, and
you’ve been cursing me since morning!)