READERS MAIL: I can’t marry him, I don’t love him

Sorry guys but someone urgently needs your help. I wasn’t online for two days, and when I logged in I got three mails from this same person. First it was her urgent problem, and then the second and third mail was about, ‘why don’t you want to do this favour for me, please I’m begging’. Even though I feel reluctant too, because I don’t like doing things people have started, but oh well, she is a reader of the blog, so I have no choice. But trust me guys, it is never a dull moment here, so I read her story and wrote it in my own words. And again, she says she promise to reply most of the comments and even answering more questions via the comment section. Feel free to send me anything, just by anything you want to feature on this blog on And thank you once again for finding us worthy. We are so glad. Please click read more to read her story.
I’m in a dilemma and i don’t know what to do. I have this guy, we have been friends for three years, but he assumes we are dating. I used to tell him we are not dating and I can’t date him, but he still won’t go. Even when he tries to shake me in the presence of our friends, I tell him never to touch me, am that irritated towards him. But he kept buying me gifts, some I reject, some I take and still laugh at him. One thing that he however does that am always impressed about is that, no matter what I need urgently he is always the one who does it. I scroll through my phone to call for an urgent help, and amongst everyone I call, he is always the only one who answers me, be it finance or air time issues. He answers me as if it is his responsibility and apologizes whenever he is few hours late with the request.
I marked my birthday recently, and he surprised me with different gifts, and things I never expected from him. He was the only one that made me special amongst everything I got. Then I decided to give him a chance, to see if this will work, as I also need to settle down anyway.
It has been two months and a half now that I have started dating him, even though we have been friends for three years, but I don’t love him, tried for this two months and a half, but no the love isn’t coming. Now he sees me as his bride, my mother loves him. He has told my mum about getting married to me, so they both want and introduction next month, so we can get married in the beginning of 2012.
My mum was fast to tell my Dad. My Dad likes him because he sees him as someone responsible and very quiet. I blamed my mum for telling my Dad, and so she apologised and said, Well I can’t wait any more, daughter. I have been telling you to bring a man since last year and you keep saying you will, and till now, have not seen any man. This man as come and he stays.
After so much argument with my mum, I told her I don’t love him, and she still agreed with me, but insists except this guy is replaced with another person soon, we are going ahead with this. My father who was smelling fowl play called me and told me, we are going ahead with it, because he feels am not ready to settle down, which is not true. He says, a good job with no man of your own is like a waste in our society, I want to see my grandchildren.
All I do now is cry and cry, yes I can take another man home to them, but where is the man? For three years, I didn’t have a boyfriend, because everyman wants to get in between your leg and take off. Am so confused, so down and don’t know what to do. Plus I think am so stupid practicing the good girl for years, may be if I had known, I would have been bad. Should have kept two or three boyfriends, maybe I wouldn’t have been in this dilemma.

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