READERS MAIL: How Do I Live With A Man I Don’t Love


Dear Ladun,

I read your blog every day and I want to commend you for a god job. My name is Mercy. I am a 29years old lady who is very successful in the corporate world. But this success seem not to be my portion in my relationship.
I met my first boyfriend online, I was 22(she just sent another mail that she meant 22. The story is real cus she is following your comments)years old and undergraduate still a virgin and I wanted to be loved. We got chatting and we told each other about ourselves. In the process I got to know that he is 11years older based in Dubai and already had a child out of wedlock. This didn’t deter our relationship as our love grew stronger.
He finally came to Nigeria to settle down and that was when I got disvirgined. Our relationship grew stronger and for the first time in my life I was selfless. And ready to do anything for him. This determination spoiled me to borrow him money on different occasions without complaining or even asking him to pay back. please not here LLBers that I was still a student so all these money was gotten from my parents. Click to continue..

3years into the relationship I discovered he started acting funny and started keeping secrets. But I decided to ignore them because I was so in love and could not bear the thoughts of losing him. After we had dated for like 5years I found out he re untied with the mother of his first child and that she was carrying his second baby. He tried to apologise but he was non-chalant about it and that was when I decided I have had enough and so I broke up with him.

2years had gone and I was not still in any relationship and my parents started showing concern because I am not getting any younger. A lot of guys asked me out after we broke up. But I wanted a Christian, a God fearing man so I declined. I finally met a guy in January that I think I like because he is a Christian and God fearing man. But I don’t love him as much as I loved my ex. I get irritated over little things he does. Things that don’t matter. The truth is he is a really good guy. A Christian and he is the kind of person my mother expects me to marry. 
My introduction is in a few weeks. And our wedding in 5months. It is certain that I am marrying this guy. But I still find myself thinking about my ex. I still love him. 
Dear LLBers how can I live with a man I don’t love. How can I tolerate him at home. Save a soul. The advice I need is how do I cope and tolerate him.

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