READERS MAIL:Advice from a single lady to married women

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Wow the blog is getting interesting day after day. In response to our previous ‘justin mails and reader’s mail’ a single lady took out time and wrote this piece. Advising the married ones on what to do, how to keep their home and how not to get pregnant immediately after marriage. Kids are blessings from God, but could be a curse to some marriages if care is not taken, she said. Click to read her mail…

Hi Ladun,

After watching so many marriages have troubles and are on the edge of crumbling. My advice might help some of my sisters.
As much as every woman’s dream is to get married and make babies, that’s not every man including the husband u married’s dreams. Most women get married and before honey moon, they’re pregnant and that’s it, bam marriage, bam pregnancy and bam a baby is born that is actually a tradition like I see but a lot of women who want their marriage to work need to bury that tradition..
Ladies, I am not married. I am not dating. I am hot, pretty and single, I am that girl ur husbands try to talk to, that girl who will get gifts from men. That girl men will just want to have phone conversations with and are happy just to talk. I always tell these men, I am celibate yes I am. I don’t like sex/like to sleep with another woman’s husband but these men don’t back off. They are happy just chatting with me. They say I am interesting to talk to. Now while talking to these men, I tend to ask, but why? Why don’t you talk to your wife? Why don’t you take her on vacation? She’s fat with big belly why don’t you guys work out together? You admire celebrities who do cosmetic surgery why not give her and extreme makeover?
I come from a large family with a lot of brothers and sisters. My sisters are married to men of different works of life. Rich, famous, average etc and they all have the same problems of cheating, abuse and angry husbands who snap at everything and anything.
Ladies, when u get married don’t rush to get pregnant and have babies. Especially if your husband is very lively, loves to travel, loves to go out and have fun. Give some years, be his friend, be his hang out buddy, be the girl he takes to parties and flaunts etc. Most men aren’t use to kids. Most men change when a baby comes in. Most men don’t know how to adapt and handle babies. Most men are not used to and ready for the crying and all. How do you expect this man who’s beginning to know your bad habits to start dealing with kids at the same time?
Ladies when you get married, take your time enjoy your husband, get to know each other. Explore him. When you make yourself very available, he gets attached, you learn so much, His sex life, you know the sex positions he likes, hell he might want a loud woman but hey with kids kicking in a month or few days after marriage all these, u can’t know any of these things.
For example my sister, when she was dating this guy she married, they were the perfect couple. I admired them so much. They dated 4yrs and guess what; she didn’t know he has anger problems. Now they’re married and have a little boy. He is so handsome and adorable but his dad snaps, screams and has so much anger. Now he’s expressing it and all this probably because he is frustrated and can’t do the things they use to do before the child, the vacations, the outings etc. She was telling me she thinks marrying him was the wrong decision and I was like they need therapy it will help them but guess what, that help is temporary and then what?
Ladies you need to let him love you, give him the time and chance to love you then after a few years, he has the time and chance to prepare and be ready to accept and love a child, he has memories build with you already, now he will have memories with family.
Men claim they are happy their wives are pregnant, no they really aren’t, they are claiming joy but behind their head, they are thinking wow, we didn’t get the chance to do this and that, we haven’t planned for this and that but they’re faking it. Most couples plan for their babies, they get married, work together, have fun and they are excited and are ready for it.
 My 2 cents in all, yes he married you the way you were, but guess what? He wants you to work towards being a better person. Workout with your husbands, read books and other experiences from other women, reinvent yourself, every day there’s new sex position, there’s a new sexual linga there’s always something new and exciting and guess what, your man goes to these side chicks and side pieces and kicks and hoes because they reinvent it, there’s their job, they need to reinvent so he can put a ring on it and you need to reinvent to keep the ring on it, Get it?
In the future, I hope I marry a man who understand me and a man I understand. Who respects me, a  man I can satisfy enough who won’t turn into a serial cheater but will have just 1 side chick because yes in the real world, all men cheat and any woman who lives in this world should know and accept it. Just be the woman who can tell him wrap it up and laugh about it. Then he will know he has to wrap it up when he steps out on you. He will know not to cheat with the women around you, he will know better and respect you.
Ladies, take care of your body, smell nice, eat things that make you smell nice down there, citrus will help your p*ssy smell good, workout and wait with the baby making and before you ask me how you wait it’s called birth controls pills, patch, shots etc well some people have after effects but there’s a lot you can do to avoid being pregnant, kids are a blessing but sometimes can be a curse to a lot of women’s failed marriage.
Love

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