Saturday, September 22, 2012

Should Husbands Pay Wives For Managing The Home?


This is one question that keeps cropping up again and again. I was single when I read something along the same lines after an American survey some years ago and now I'm reading it as a housewife. This time, the Union Women and Child Development Ministry in India is preparing a draft Bill that would entitle housewives a monthly income from their husbands. Of course, all the debaters are out again in force.

Personally, I believe it is important to recognize the work women do at home, especially as in most cases they carry a disproportionate burden of chores. Wives and moms are usually satisfied by the gratitude and happiness of their husbands and children, as well as the peace and progress of their families, but where the outcome is not so positive, then what? Maybe it makes sense to reward her in cold hard cash. Please click to continue.


Indeed, the women and children minister said the Bill, which IBN Live says is likely to be presented before the Indian Parliament within six months, was aimed at empowering women. According to her,

    “A majority of women in India are involved in household chores after getting married but they do not get any salary for it. The socially accepted behaviour becomes a tragedy when a woman gets divorced or is widowed when she is left with nothing for survival. The Government is mulling to bring a law under which a husband will have to legally pay a definite amount to his wife from his salary and the Ministry has started preparing a draft in this regard,” Tirath told Express during a telephonic interview from New Delhi on Friday.

    “When we are given an equal status by the Constitution, why is it that we have to accept the social condition that takes it for granted that women have to do the household chores? She is no slave and now we have to fight to bring about a change in thinking,” she added.

    Since an estimated two-thirds of married Indian women are victims of domestic violence, Tirath believed this economic empowerment would be a welcome respite for them.


Now I won't be surprised if the figures of abused women are similar in Nigeria, and I also will add the number that get separated from their husbands with no child support or alimony. It is indeed a terrible situation that contributes a lot in keeping women down and browbeaten by the men around them.

However, while in concept it sounds great to determine the value of the work women do at home and pay it to them, the truth is that it will be hard to do. How can one even begin to put a price tag on some of those chores? Most women do it from the heart, for them it is not a job. It would just be too problematic to try to monetize housework. Let's look at some gray areas;

1. Women would be cooking and cleaning their own homes anyway, so how do they separate the two, for herself and for the rest of the family?

2. What if the husband is OK with a dusted coffee table but she wants to wax and polish it too? What if the children are fine with fried chicken, but she decides to make coq au vin? Will the husband pay extra for all that?

3. Making it compulsory for the husbands to pay for the house work to wives with a certain percentage of their salaries may create even worse scenarios where the men get resentful, bossy, abusive, or worse.

Finally, how will this law be implemented?

I don't want this to get too long, so let's discuss.

Source: http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com

51 comments:

  1. For India, I say yes mainly because of their culture cos I have a lot of indian friends and I have seen how they are treated when divorced or widowed. Most of them are not allowed to work only to take care of the family and do whatever their husbands say. For other, getting upkeep and house keeping money is essential especially if the lady doesn't have any other source of income. For those that work, both parents should contribute towards the running of the home depending on who earns more.

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  2. I support pls, wives need to be paid a monthly income. wives cook, clean, take care of children , worry, go to work, organize the home,do laundry and all. that is one hell of a job. Men pls act as bread winners and pay ur wives in kind and in cash.

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  3. as a woman who left her job(banking) to take care of the kids and home i ..i support this idea...

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  4. I support blc even though me and my husband work all day, I still come home to cook, clean , take care of children why he brows the internet. I go to bed by 12 so tired and drained so yeah paying me for that services will help me cool my mind. I can use that money to buy myself some nice things as compensation.

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  5. Ladun's biggest fan22 September, 2012 11:16

    First comment, true.

    For those who want equality, no the man cannot pay you. *laughs*

    For people like me who don't like equality, hell to the yes. In our case, I'm an additional card holder to his accounts. I help myself! *cheeky smiley*

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  6. This heading is a tad misleading/ambiguous. It gives another meaning to the topic until one reads the whole article. Should've read: "Should husbands pay HOUSEWIVES for managing the home?". Of course they should! I want to believe every HOUSEWIFE out there gets some stipends from her husband monthly, weekly or whenever. However, HOUSEWIVES should earn that, NOT for managing the home, BUT for not having a (steady) job. The principal responsibility of every WIFE (whether housewife or working class) is to manage the home anyway. You don't expect a husband to pay monthly income to a WIFE who earns 10times what he earns, do you?

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  7. Of course yes my mum is on salary frm my dad and she still has her own business he set up for her

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  8. Whysoserious why marry a man who earns ten times less than you? Managing the home is a second full time job & i agree the men should give wives a stipend.

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    1. Anon 6:15: I guess I was overstating it there :). Now, inasmuch as I agree that financially stable husbands can give stipends to their busy wives 4 managing the home after work, I believe it shouldn't be binding on every husband. A financially independent wife who still receives stipends from her hubby is privileged; its not her right. Those stipends should come out of the man's own volition. And don't u think some wives might just get 'lazy' if her stipends are really 'cool'? Managing the home is more of a RESPONSIBILITY than a JOB (there's a slight diff). Saying its a full time job makes it sound like the wife is doing it for the husband's benefit alone. How about the love/satisfaction/happiness/fulfilment she gets from nurturing the kids & building a wonderful home? Anyway since u say its a full time job, u should address the following questions :)

      1. Are u suggesting an Employee/Employer relationship for a married couple?
      2. What would happen if the employer(hubby) isn't satisfied with her services?
      3. Is he entitled to terminate his wife's employment (if she's found wanting) & seek suitable replacement (without going through the divorce proceedings & just 'hiring' a more competent wife under a new employment contract to replace his earlier employee?)
      4. How the salary will be fixed?
      5. Will there be performance evaluations?
      6. Is a job-profile going to be chalked out?

      Housekeeping after work is tough, I agree...but It mustn't also be the sole responsibility of the wife alone. If the wife so wishes, the kids could help, likewise nannies/house maids (in which case she could just be an overseer).

      Another point to ponder is this: If the husband still pays for every utility bill, (the children's fees inclusive) out of his pocket, Then, in what ways would the wife spend those stipends she gets from him so they could be of some sort of economic benefit to the household? Or is she just going to spend it on her wants (not needs) & luxuries maybe?
      Just 2 cut the long story short, Housewives (without jobs) SHOULD be paid stipends, but working class/busy/financially dependent wives COULD, but mustn't be paid. My humble opinion

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  9. Very stupid question.pay for what?,when women eat every food and take dominion of every little thing in d house.what payment do you want?.mnchew.......

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  10. Yes if only it was a contract marriage but if it was marriage they both agreed mutually and according to God's blessings then I say NO.

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  11. Yes! Yes! Yes! I support. I run one of our family companies, which gives me the privilege of working my own hours. In addition, my husband makes adequate monthly provision's for me. Which means, I get to take care of the kids and the home without a fuss. Happy wife, happy life :)

    PS: But this shouldn't be a topic for debate 'cos it's common practice in Nigeria. I have friends back home whose husbands' pay them salaries every month, regardless of what they (the women) earn from work/business

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    Replies
    1. na real happy wife happpy life. aren't u lucky @maximus

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    2. Maxi darl yur life seems perfect sha may god blesS me wit my own husby dat will treat me like a queen. My dear I hope you tank god evrydy for the type of type of husby nd lovly kids you have. you are blessed my sista

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    3. Am beginning to see you as a braggard. Must you mention you 'run one of the companies'? And this is not the first time you have written something like this. Too much information in my opinion.

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    4. Aunty 11,53 too much info kwa? me I don't see any bragging here sha. Di girl di onpoint with wat she said. If d tin pepper u mayb u shud dive in2 a gutter

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    5. Go and sit down Maxi. Be boasting here. If everyone decides to boast u will just fade away. We r serious here and u r telling us happy home. Mscheeew. Na we no dey happy.

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  12. Ireti's picture is something else. Yes oh pay me well well.

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  13. MAXIMIUS stop generalising oh. Nt every husband in naija pays wife monthly allowi. Som wives r lucky otherz r not

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  14. They should pay jare. Cos they can not multi task like women. We both go to work, face the same traffic and dey come n seat in front of the tv wit legs crossed waitin 4 dinner. We ought to be paid.
    Wat about housewives who do all d house chores n she can't even afford to buy a dress for herself without asking hubby. And wen hubby dies, she is left with notin wen the family carts away everytin.

    www.jollythought.blogspot.com

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  15. If there's house help at home the wife gets NOTHING then

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  16. I have never gotten money from my hubby as pocket money even though we have bn married for 7yrs now.He does majority of the shopping.
    The ones I buy myself,he gives the exact money so that I have no chance of skimming from the top.
    In my own case,where do I start from?
    N.B,I'm not working o,I look after the kids,I do the house chores e.t.c
    I beg money from friends to support myself sometimes.

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    Replies
    1. Sorry dear!Dat ur hubby na wa for him. Ki lode??dese happened to my friend too, but she left him.. U just continue to be a gud mother to ur kids,he will change.. Almighty Lord will help n protect ur kids...

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  17. WONU: yes o I personally think its a good idea at least d woman will hv smtin to rest on cos anytin can happen.

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  18. No amount of money can quantify the duties and role of a wife and mother. Gratitude and respect will suffice for me. I believe a woman should be financially independent and to expect monetary compensation for a natural role that we chose to play, undermines our worth.

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    Replies
    1. Janded u must be an angel :). I pray I get a woman who thinks like u. God bless ur home

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  19. @ MAXIMUS™ Nwanem nwanyi u r blessed!!! Nne I can't hate u biko. Ndu gi amaka. Ino na ofe

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    Replies
    1. @Amarachukwu, I haven't got the slightest clue what you wrote, but heck, I'm luvin it!

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  20. Luca n whysoserious....I like una two...infact I be una fan....so threfoe, visit my blog abeg......
    http://ashirigbakaute.blogspot.com/

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  21. Ofcourse not

    http://africansweetheart.blogspot.co.uk/

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  22. I fink maximus made her comment to spite her haters on LLb who called her jobless housewife lmao...I can smell sacarsm in her commnt lol. Max how's ur baby?

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    Replies
    1. @babeinZion, I love readers who have a keen eye for detail. I love that you have common sense.

      *kisses baybay*

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    2. This MAXIMIUS ehn ur jst a trouble maker.so u revealed ol that jst to piss ppl off ba? u get beta strong head oh I used to think halfcaste gals are weaklins.u get mouth sha
      Valerie

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  23. maximumu too lie jo

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  24. @African Sweetheart. Ofcouse not, why? why not. Ofcourse YES

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  25. True talk. Pay some money.

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  26. @ maximus keep up with the lies and hopefully one day you start "be-living" it ...... shift jare, we know ur type.

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  27. depends if the wife is an housewife yea if they both work and help out around the house then capital NO.
    if she wants to be getting paid for looking after her own kids and the house she lives and sleeps in then how about the man as well getting paid for the bit he does around the house as well

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    Replies
    1. You have a bad h-factor!! LOOOL. Are you sure you lived away from naija at all? *A housewife!! Not 'an'!.. What primary school did you go to? Didn't they teach you about vowels? The other time it was 'an hip replacement, an hotel' bush man and to think you are always forming Mr Enlgish, yet you cannot comprehend the simplest english terminologies....

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    2. You have a bad h-factor!! LOOOL. Are you sure you lived away from naija at all? *A housewife!! Not 'an'!.. What primary school did you go to? Didn't they teach you about vowels? The other time it was 'an hip replacement, an hotel' bush man and to think you are always forming Mr Enlgish, yet you cannot comprehend the simplest english terminologies....

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  28. Maximus, u dey make me laff hard...I na acho okwu mehn, I know u did that on purpose so haters can burn lmao. Nothing do u my sister...who God has blessed no man can curse.

    For more ashiri, visit ashirigbakaute.blogspot.com.

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    Replies
    1. @ashiri, looool. Big ups to you my ibo brother! Much luv

      *kisses*

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  29. @ Mary....
    as much as I dnt gbadun MAXI fr revealn that, me sha I think u Mary ur a hater.Ican see the beef right thru my computer screen.Easy o Mary.mayb wen u rejoice fr other pipus happiness gud things will happen fr u as well.just sayn sha o

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    1. @12.25 Its ur computer so u can type whatever u like, and can see beef if u want or see hater. ....that don't make it true.

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    2. me av sed my own sha.u can go die a slow death if u want.d lesson here is don't go abt telin pipu dey r lying abt wat dey wrote.udon't live wit them.wish them well nd move on

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    3. The lesson here??.......lesson from who, bloody anony fool . Abeg shift

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  30. Yes, i am in support.

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  31. @anon 14;04
    AGAIN stop taking yourself and life so serious second in answer to your question yes i was scoping one girl in my primary school english class my first crush so i didn't pay attention when the teacher was explaining vowels to us ;-)

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