Monday, October 22, 2012

What some Nigerian women said during child delivery

I was asking God to forgive me that I will never do it again! because the pain was SOOO terrible that I thought God was punishing me for getting pregnant out of wedlock! Well even after 3 more births the pain seems to be the same  and all I say now is THANK YOU JESUS!!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!! OH JESUS!!!

I speak as a witness, i was actually in d labour room with my elder sister and her hubby to. The nurses advised one of us should rub her waist wheneva d contractions came. she wanted us to rub her waist and feet, so i took to rubn d waist while the hubby rubbed d feet. So along the line, what i heard was a big Kpa! (punch) on the hubbys cheek; RUb my feet! Click to continue.


After my baby had already arrived,the midwife took the gas n air off me, n i said to her can i have a bit more please, she was like but your baby is already out, I said I dont care, gas n air makes me feel good! I only had gas n air no other thing, n that stuff was gooooooooooood, i wish i cud have it allday everyday!

When I was having my first baby, I was more worried about my husband than I was about myself, he was hysterical, i was calm, and he kept getting worked up because I was so calm, lol, cultural differences, I kept saying "sweety, calm down" and he was saying "dont tell me to be calm", reverse labour. My family members teased him to no end, crying louder than the bereaved.

When i had my 1st baby was d only time i said something funny, i said "if this is what mother pass thru during labour, then,any child who is rude to his/her mother should be crucified upside down"
When i was done, come and see laugh, eehn was wondering if i could say such horrible thing. But 4 d subsequent labours, experience helped, i was just calling/saying "JESUS! JEESUS! HELP ME OH JESUS!

I remember when my aunt was in labour the first time, her hubby was late and she said "Where is that useless man? He's the one that put me in this condition"And when he got there and she was pushing, she cried out, "I will not do it again o, please, after this one, I will not do it again" and hubby laughed and replied, "No problem, we won't do it again"

Care to share your experience? Please do....

56 comments:

  1. Lagos_is-my-home22 October, 2012 22:52

    Ladun firstly it appears u posted this twice, except if my pad is playing tricks on my eyes .
    Secondly what is d point of this post. Biko please tell. Even if others share experiences and d writer takes points, can she remember any points taken when Labour starts

    ***Moving right along then

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lagos_is-my-home22 October, 2012 22:52

    Ladun firstly it appears u posted this twice, except if my pad is playing tricks on my eyes .
    Secondly what is d point of this post. Biko please tell. Even if others share experience and d writer takes points, can she remember any points taken when Labour starts

    ***Moving right along then

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well it's your iPad! Coz u posted twice!! And it's something To make u laugh o!! Laugh my dear!! Lagos is your jome

      Delete
    2. The post was posted twice yesterday, Ladun deleted the duplicate

      Delete
    3. Was gonna say same thn. Hehehehe. LL thanx, bn laffing since. No experience yet tho!

      Delete
  3. During my first labour I had a really bad contraction and screamed amid tears -"this is the real McCoy". Every one expect me laughed out loud.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LADUN

    SO THESE ARE THE STORIES OF DIFFERENT WOMEN?

    YOU SHOULD LEARN HOW TO USE SUBTITLES AND HEADINGS


    SECONDLY, I BELIEVE WE ALL KNOW THAT LABOUR IS PAINFUL.


    SLOW NEWS DAY I SEE

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nd u got all dse frm naira land.. Ladun ladun I hail thee.. If u lke no post my commnt

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. happyhausabunny23 October, 2012 07:54

      As in! See copy and paste things! She just copied comments from people...I knew it was from nairaland the moment I read it! If you are going to copy and paste at least try to correct the errors! Lazy girl!

      Delete
    2. Zinnia:
      I read this topic on Nairaland yesterday but what is so annoying is that Oladunni Liadi didn't credit the source of the writeup.

      All the comments were made by nairaland members and this is PLAGIARISM at work. Ladun, it isn't nice. Please try to credit your source of information; I've been observing your plagiarism lately.

      Delete
  6. Ladun please try to proof-read these things before you post them. For how long shall people excuse your typos? It has become an eye sore, please do something about it. For example: rubbing her waste. Waste? I'm tired, and that's putting it lightly.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahahahahahhaha! KwakwaKwakwaKwakwa! This is just hilarious! Crucify 'em upside down??? Jeez! Hahahahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  8. you are sick LL and you have totally lost it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. STFU!!!! Ur so stupid, ode oshi. Ur d sick fool

      Delete
  9. You see that's why i have tokophobia - fear of giving birth. Personally i dont think the pain of a vaginal delivery is worth it for me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The second one is so funny, guys you now no better than to massage the leg of a lady in labor.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear Ladun, I come here daily but rarely ever comment. However, I think it's time you really work on your tenses. Please it's waist not waste. What with the lower key I ? It's in capital. I have noticed people have being telling you about your writing skills but you seem not to have taken any corrections, this is simply what it would do - you would be stagnant! So many other bloggers have improved, take BNthat went from a blog to a website, what stops you? You refusal to take correction. Wish you well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You refusal to take correction ke? Nwa teacher!

      Delete
    2. "People have being telling...." Really? Its 'been' not 'being'.remove the log in your eyes first!

      Delete
    3. Check urs 1st b4 u correct others stagnant teacher

      Delete
    4. There are other blogs go there biko teacher chike

      Delete
    5. Aunty oxford - Cambridge. "Being".
      Nne relax. Don't gan kee yasef.

      Delete
    6. Aunty oxford - Cambridge. "Being".
      Nne relax. Don't gan kee yasef.

      Delete
  12. Now ama scared !!!cuz am 6months gone

    ReplyDelete
  13. ladun please english waist and not waste....

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wat do u expect from a typical lagos girl. They write it as they pronounce!

    ReplyDelete
  15. 'My family members teased him to no end, crying louder than the bereaved??' - Bereaved??? Wow - Who died?? You really do need to proof read and understand exactly what you are posting up Ladun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are just a dunce. Go and sit with ur grand parents to teach you about parables

      Delete
    2. Exactly!!! Ladun ode!

      Delete
    3. BIG. HUGE. SUPER DUNCE

      Delete
    4. BIG. HUGE. SUPER DUNCE

      Delete
  16. She copied from nairaland; copy and paste. The original writer wrote waste instead of waist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahah....ladun I can only smh for u I swear down!

      Delete
  17. Naija people common sense,they don't have;they like to criticize,that why they didn't grow,imagine someone is compare BN with another, nigerian pls grow up.sometime I read some comment, I just laugh it off

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Olodo, proof read the nonsence dat u are typing first...mumu of the highest order

      Delete
    2. I couldn't blv it. Its a joke yea?

      Delete
  18. 8.23 Lol..Before u laugh it off this ur english e be as e get

    "Imagine someone is compare BN with another "..... Ooo la la

    ReplyDelete
  19. I usually pick a date,go into the theater get anesthesia and have a ceaserean section. I know nothing about labour pain,the swearing and cursing that comes with it,pushing,tearing or getting my vajayjay torn and stitched! I've got 4 kids and I'm through with child birth. so....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless u my sis. I don't know wat labour pain feels like I swear. All those pushing, stitching ,air and gas make no sense to me. And I've got two cute boys and done. My pussy is still as tight and intact as an 18 yr old.

      Delete
    2. Good for you. I've got three kids from normal delivery. I had labour pains which I forgot about as soon as I held my bundles of joy. I didn't curse, didn't swear and had no drama of back rubbing or slapping people. It was me and my husband holding my hand in a cool, calm delivery room.

      Women are programmed to be able to take the labour pain. Would-be mothers, don't let Ladun scare you.

      Delete
  20. @tokophobic
    are you sure its not sidophobia

    ReplyDelete
  21. Mehn when women say its best not to tell a woman bout how labor pain feels,best believe dem!cos absolutely nothing prepares ur mind for d intensity of the pain.Every woman's body was designed to handle normal labor so we can all handle an uncomplicated labor successfully.Having seen many women in labor while at work,I knew it was useless to swear nd say 'I wouldn't do it again'!cos I know I'l be having anoda baby soon.I did scream my head off nd beatup the nurse who helped rub my back though.hubby?sent him out of sight b4 I'd be tempted to do something bad to him.lol.when my baby came,I 4got all bout the pain nd wld do it over nd over again jst for the joy he brings me daily!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh well, i've had 3 kids now, though †he last one was a s†ill birth as in she died beforع she came out. labour each †ime was different. †he firs† (A boy) was no† wha† i expected....as in i† was quite bearable and i remember thinking while in †he throes ☺f labour "So is this i†? Is this wha† †hey call pain?" †ha† one lasted 4 hrs exactly. I pushed once and he popped out.

    The second (A girl) lasted 2 hrs, but †he pain was out of this world! I groaned and groaned †ill i felt †he urge †o pass a big poo (†ha† was actually †he baby) i pushed twice and she was out.

    †he last labour (A beautiful baby girl) lasted 30 minutes admist lo†s of groaning, yelling, teeth-grinding and bleeding 'cos there was a serious complication (termed placenta abruption). God was so merciful 'cos before i knew i†, i† was all over. I sha knew she was dead beforع she came out. I pushed once and she slipped out too.

    I don'† really carع about †he labour pain, but wha† terrifies me †he most is †ha† feeling i ge† wen †he baby's head is crowning. I†'s like a "ring of fire" white-hot pain. †he good tin is †ha† i†'s jus† a few seconds and †ha† part is over. I always feel †hem slip out of me... Once †he head is out, †he body slips out easily. †he very bestestest part is hearing your baby cry and holding him/her in your arms. A† †ha† magical moment, nothing else matters anymore...no† even †he hospital bills you'll s†ill have to pay.... And you'll be ready †o do i† all over again if you have †o .

    PINK

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pink I think you should be a writer. Your descriptions are so graphic. I actually winced where u said its like "a ring of fire, white hot pian". Ouch! I'm so sorry about your last baby.
      Valerie.

      Delete
    2. I know u Pink! Don't worry God will Bring the one that will stay!

      Delete
  23. LOL not eve one comment on labour things!

    ReplyDelete
  24. lollypop i guess you have never had a child. You will not understand you dumb fuck. This post is so stupid and typical of the stupidity of Nairaland. It's full of people who are yet to take JAMB or UME. Who uses the word fool in this day? Only a razzoid like lollypop would.

    ReplyDelete
  25. okay amid all these bruhaha, i cant wait to feel the pain, secondly i cant stand not being myself ,i hate the early stages of pregnancy,i almost considered surrogacy but hmnnn...i wonder how my aunt poped out 9 , i know a woman who has 10 i hail o.

    ReplyDelete
  26. @anon 16;00
    are you sure you r not presently in labour?
    i fear for this your level of anger o

    ReplyDelete
  27. lucabracee, i am done and dusted with the kids. It's like they are joking with labour. It's either the men or some immature child who has never had kids that will think this topic is worth discussing. I find it disrespectful.

    ReplyDelete
  28. @ lucabracee
    Sitophobia (and not sidophobia) is the fear of food.

    Tokophbia is the fear of giving birth.

    Before you try to correct someone, make sure YOU are 100% right. And don't say it was a joke because I fail to see how tokophobia and sitophobia correlate.

    ReplyDelete
  29. @tokophobic
    i was joking lool but sorry if you were offended though
    sidophobia is i think the title of a track by obesere the fuji musician and the thing just popped into my head when all of you started reeling out the different phobias

    ReplyDelete
  30. @anon22;04
    totally agree with you as a man i am guilty as charged as well and even when i get married and we start having kids i don't think i will be going into any labour room cause i can't stand the sight of blood or the whole thing

    ReplyDelete
  31. @ pink sorry about your baby
    I have 2 beautiful kids, one was almost 10 years ago and I cant even remember anything
    but the 2nd was five years ago
    and like pink said the crowing was like a ring of fire Lmao
    I was gritting on chunks on ice like it was going out of fashion
    while my husband was like "aaaaaarrrrrrghhhhh" and almost collapsed lol

    ReplyDelete
  32. I had my first daughter and did not even know i was in labour. I gisted wit my hubby in d hospital as we waited for the nurse to check me since i didnt sleep well dt nite. As soon as d nurse checked me, my water broke, she shouted and asked me rush to d labour room that am very due. My husband immediately bought delivery mat and few other things from d hospital and before 10 mins my big girl was out. It was miraculous.

    My second baby was postdated so i was induced. I experienced very very sharp hot pain for less than 10 mins and my baby was out. I just glorify God

    my hubby says am a 10 mins woman. We both understand and just laff.

    Pls u guys should reduce d attack on this LL. I think she will improve

    ReplyDelete