Friday, November 23, 2012

Reply To Your Post : The Men Are the Ones Who Push Us to the Wall

Hi Ladun

I saw your post on a married woman earlier. i'm in  a similar situation too but mine is somehow different. I'm also married for 2yrs now i love my husband so much hence we got married after sometime he started misbehaving probably cos i didn't have a job then.(even though i was engagrd with some other things so i wouldn't be idle and look lazy).

He treats me like trash, talk about hes other female friends all d time give them more attention etc.
i managed to swallow all that as if that wasn't enof he picks on me unnecessarily finds fault in  nothing. my husband who is supposed to be my best friend became or is a stranger to me the bond is no longer that strong.


Which woman wld be happy to see her man exchanging nude pix wid anoda lady? He does all that and in his small mind he thinks i know nothin about it. Feeling like a player and funny enof whn we were dating he never showed any signs of all dese nasty attitudes trust me i wldnt have even tot of even getting married to him. Luckily for me i got a good paying job smwhere in lagos and i was happy that at least i have a friend now(my job) smtin id look forward to every day.

I started work, things were going on fine until i met this young charming guy (my age mate)who lends me the listening ear n all he is fun with a great sense of humour
we talk for long hours everyday even have dates outside the office, we flirt a lot(no sex) we are very good friends in fact people always think we r an item.
now im so so happy n joyful cos i know i have sm1 to lean on.now d tables av turned around n the 'dear husband' is beginning to feel bad.

The long and short is the men are the ones who push us to the wall. You feel you can do all the nasty things and expect us to take it ? we are humans pls... if u cannot remain faithful then pls n pls stay single! dnt make us go out.


Ladies pls dnt sit there and say tradition forbids this or that... make urself happy u have only one life dnt live it for ur husband it shld be mutual. sorry to say if u die in silence. he wouldn't even wait one day b4 hooking up anoda lady. im not saying u shld go sleeping around, jst dnt let it get to u go out have friends n be happy(jst like me now)

Jane  an LLB reader

75 comments:

  1. Pls what's Ladun's e-mail ad? I tried ladunliadi@gmail.com but it didn't go .Someone pls help me out

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    1. Zinnia:

      That Girl, you can try: oladunniliadi@yah
      oo.com

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    2. U idiots need to go to psychiatric hospital and see the women there. 90% of them are there because of heartbreak. For christ sake not all women can stomach it. Some women are strong and can persevere in prayers. Some just break down. Sometimes d best way is to find comfort in the hands of another just so u can get over ur depression! Life is not fair to anybody. Madam who is 9years into marriage. My parents are 35years into it. For the first 15 years my mum talked like you. Until when she started seeing things. So just pray ur own doesn't change cus 9years is still to small. Ure using ur own to judge, that's why u can open ur mouth to talk anyhow. I hope ud say the same thing in 15years of marriage. Whatever rocks ur boat o. I studied psychology in school. When we took a trip to yaba left, I cried till I got home. See beautiful women "DRAINED" and ure here talking nonsense. Please don't judge anybody. People deal wiv things differently. If flirting wiv another man will make u sane please do it! That's my take.

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    3. @Zinnia, it didn't go thru

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    4. Zinnia:

      That Girl, the 2 emails listed by Ladun on this blog are:
      *ladunliadi@gmail.com
      *oladunniliadi@yahoo.com

      Keep sending your mail to either/both addresses till it is delivered. It could be connection problem; it happens at times.

      Delete
  2. Men, oya ur turn!

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  3. ok dnt knw wat 2 say cos dis is beyond me,i'm nt married,wil jst wait 4 comments 2 roll in #waiting impatiently#

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  4. Ladun post my mail please

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  5. U just painted ur hubby black. What do u do to drive him away?

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  6. Jane just be careful sha..ish like this always starts out harmless but we all know how quickly things can get out of hand. Bcuz u husband is cheating doesn't mean u shld do the same. It doesn't make u less a person if u stay faithful

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  7. Actually im also in a loveless relationship with two lovely kids here in london but i don't see myself sleeping with anoda man despite the fact that my partner is not treating me and the kids well. It was on dis site that i learnt how to manage mu situation. Before life was miserable becos he doesnt give me and the kids money, but now im helping somebody to pick her two kids from school and she pays 30 pounds a day, luckily she picks her kids before my partner comes back from work. God is good!

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    1. Mynd u I ddnt say u shld sleep around havin a vry gd friend helps. Jst a platonic friendship. As D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ say a problem shared is halved

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  8. Try oladunniliadi@yahoo.com

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  9. God is in control

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  10. Keep on F@#king around. Its when you leave your husband to settle with the new guy you will know that men love faithful women even though we are naturally polygamous.

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    Replies
    1. Why are u men so selfish?can u imagine d statement'we are naturally polygamous',u want d best but not ready 2 give d best..shame on u.

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    2. Why are u men so selfish?can u imagine d statement'we are naturally polygamous',u want d best but not ready 2 give d best..shame on u.

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  11. WONU: I dnt support d idea of an eye for an eye buh I think d most impt thing is dat u are happy as a woman becos if d woman shud die trust me d next day d husband will still shag,dey are nt worth diein for. #YOLO

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  12. AS PROF X SAID...ALL THESE EXPIRED PEOPLE

    CAN WE NOT HEAR STORIES ABOUT SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES!!!!!

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  13. Na wa o.. Am I the only Nigerian woman of our generation (I'm going 30) who loves her husband and is in a very happy marriage?

    I think my hubby is God's gift to me. He's smart and carries himself with so much dignity and these are admirable qualities for me. I'm more of the carefree, fun person while he is a serious person. I've never had any reason to believe he's cheating and I can't even imagine myself with another man. I really feel bad for people who don't have what I have. I have had to experience a few divorces and bad marriages through close family and friends and I know it hurts.

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    1. Good for you dear but never sleep with your two eyes closed. Men do change. Has nothing to do with you per say but be careful. Marriage is no fairytale. Its even the lovely dovey oes dat are more dangerous. Some their problems start early in marriage. Some in the middle n the worst at old age. You hear of very "faithful husband" bringing kids home and the wife that was in lala land ends up in Yaba left (Aro mental home) A vist would convince you. The place is full of women that are going through depression. So please love but don't be stupid. Never say never.

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    2. These people that come on here with their sad sorrow stories. You build for yourself what you want. The same way they said a black person in London must do cleaning job and suffer. I have been in London only 3 years and earn over 100K pounds in a legit job. I own my company. Stop using your sorrow tale to dictate other people's lives

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  14. I sent a mail to ladunliadi@gmail.com to prove that there are happy marriages out there but I don't know if it was sent..

    Remember,those of u who sleep with other men,they see u as trash. They have no single respect for u and ur home at all. They have no respect for ur kids.. U all think they love u? Hell no! They don't! They laugh at u with their friends and tell them what a whore u are...

    Cos he's cheating doesn't give u the right to cheat on him at all.. Cos when he finds out and drives u out of his house,that man u sleeping with won't marry u or sleep with u anymore.. But if u catch ur hubby sleeping around and u leave,he's going to marry the next month if he desires that's why we are women..

    So u all come here and justify ur stupid act is just so annoying.. I'm married.. Been married for 9yrs and I have been faithful.. My husband is what I call a man.. Ofcourse he cheated on me and I found out but I didn't tell him I know.. I worked on my body and went to God in prayer and the funniest thing happened... He came to confess to me and apologised,crying and begging and I told him not to worry,I had forgiven him.. I won't say I don't have one or 2 quarel with my hubby which is so normal in marriage but we have the best relationship.. And I can tell u God has been good.. Instead of u all to get down on ur knees to pray u take to cheating? Instead of u to figure out what u do to chase ur hubby away from u? Ah ah! And u all are now saying it making people who aint married think marriage is too hard

    For the single girls out there,those who really think they are ready for marriage,marriage is a beautiful thing.. How u manage ur home is how it would turn out... Don't pray for a week and stop saying answers are not coming,God never fails... I'm more than happy I have my husband and trust me,I thank God every morning for my hubby cos I'm not sure another man would treat me the way my hubby treats me and my kids..

    Nothing is perfect.. Marriage is not a bed of roses.. Don't capitalise on the bad side of ur marriage,look at the good times and pray for more of those days.. The worst thing u can do as a married man is having a single guy friend or married man,cos it would leave the friend base one day trust me... I keep telling women,do what u wouldn't want ur daughters to do cos marriage is not rosey all the way.. There are ups and downs,plenty bumbs and all,but the ability to manage it and come out successful is all that matters..

    As for the women sleeping around,please stop.. Not bcos of ur hubby or anything but for ur kids... And for the fact that those people u sleeping with are not just sleeping with u but tarnishing ur image,and disrespecting ur home..

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    Replies
    1. Amen, Sister Sally...

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    2. God bless you for your write-up! And may your marriage be even happier than it is right now

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  15. What part of we flirt alot but no sex did some of you refuse to see

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    1. Abeg tell dem blind hypocrite readers....

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    2. We don't see that cos from flirting,the next thing is sex.. Why would u have a friend aside ur hubby? Male friends... LOL.. They will pretend to be nice,lend u their shoulders to cry on and before u know it,something else would happen

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    3. So bcuz shez married,she not have male frnds or be happy?!pls,an eye for an eye.so wt if he drives u away frm his house?is he d nly one wif a house?!that's why I av said it,women shud be strng,have ur own job,be bold,so wen fuck up comes,u have sumtn to lean on.in other news...the lady said "flirt"!!!

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  16. One married woman was f@cked and dumped, she wrote Ladunni. Another one is about to be F@cked and she wrote Ladunni to justify her flirtatious attitude. I am not Prof X but I agree that Ladunni should stop enabling these expired Ashawo women.

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  17. As much as I think its morally wrong to flirt consciously while being married,men have become too self absorbed! Who can balme them though? Afterall sex is far easier to get these days than cash! I had a male friend who thinks men have the RIGHT to cheat!! Why? I asked. And his illiterate excuse was "its allowed but if my wife tries it eh,I will kill her oo" that was the end of that friendship..do what makes u happy but I think if you are tired of ur marriage..take a walk!

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  18. Happy Yoruba bunny23 November, 2012 13:32

    I beg anonymous married for 9 yrs go and sit down
    I guess u v not heard other pro
    Les story and ts easier for u to judge right? Ur husband cheated on u once and begged and begged, same way a wife beater beats his wife once and cried and cried only to land her another dirty slap, serial cheater vs serial beater

    Maybe u v not heard about men who sleeps wt all their wife's friends, sleep wt their own friends wives, how embarrassing wl it be for such a wife if not to run into some arms that will comfort her, u think u know it all, let people tell u what they r going thru for u to know how far, u think it pleases them to run into another man's arms? V u heard of wives that r so frustrated about their husbands not coming home to sleep only for them to either use sleeping tabs or get drunk to sleep? Some are so depressed they can't even share their stories with anyone for fear of let downs, some friends u'll tell the. Ur pains and they'll carry the story and tell ur husband again just cause they want to sleep with him, if they are not even knocking already, save us ur epistle, no wonder ur email to Ladun didn't go thru

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    1. So wat inteillgence have u added to this discussion 4 christ sake,so cos dr furstrated dr shld now run into anoda mans arms.stop talking nonsense abeg.

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    2. I'm happily married and I don't need to send Ladun a mail about it. Happy marriages abound everywhere.

      All you sad wives, check yourselves and see what you are doing wrong. Stop consoling yourselves that all men cheat and so their wives must cheat too. From what I see, a lot of you have bad attitudes. I'm not surprised your husbands are running away from you to better company outside your home. You maltreat your househelps, domestic staff and talk rudely to people. Arrogance is a turn off. Most of you care only about your long smelly weaves, artificial nails and beauty treatments.

      Most men need primarily good food and awesome sex. Treat your man right and he will treat you right, except he's of the devil.

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    3. Only God knows where you ladies meet this kind of terrible men that sleep with their wives' friends and friends' wives.

      Some women close their eyes to their partner's bad behaviour during courtship because the guy is loaded. I hope the cash keeps them company on lonely nights

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    4. I'm happily married and I don't need to send Ladun a mail about it. Happy marriages abound everywhere.

      All you sad wives, check yourselves and see what you are doing wrong. Stop consoling yourselves that all men cheat and so their wives must cheat too. From what I see, a lot of you have bad attitudes. I'm not surprised your husbands are running away from you to better company outside your home. You maltreat your househelps, domestic staff and talk rudely to people. Arrogance is a turn off. Most of you care only about your long smelly weaves, artificial nails and beauty treatments.

      Most men need primarily good food and awesome sex. Treat your man right and he will treat you right, except he's of the devil.

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    5. STFU.. Allow the anonymous who is married for 9yrs to be.. She shared her story and how she made it work... If u think sleeping around helps ur depression,keep it on.. Good whore and mother#rubbish.. All this fools coming here to justify their stupid act of cheating.. U will be caught soon

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    6. Happy yoruba bunny! Oya keep sleeping around#ode... U are a disgrace to womanhood and ur fatherland.. Disgrace to even yoruba people.. Its ur likes that make people think all yoruba women cheat.. I'm married for 12yrs and haven't cheated and would never cheat...

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    7. I pity u big time... If u are married,u are a whore,if u are single,u still a whore and I pity whoeva is married to u or is gonna marry u....

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    8. Abeg y'all sayn ma hubby is faithful...shattap dere!!!du u knw hz err movement...(˘̯˘ ) ( ˘˘̯)....ur hubby's as far as am concerned is playn a tight game u blind assholes can't see..abeg pass d mic..enuff wif my hubby is faithful nd been married 4 9yers...check well ur husbands even ve kids awt dere.

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  19. Ladunni Maybe I should send you story of my wife. She loves sex like crazy. I know she is cheating on me since I cannot meet up with her daily demand for 3 rounds of sex, INCLUDING DURING HER PERIOD. I am just persevering and hoping that soon, when menopause creeps up on her she will slow down.

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    1. My husband should be married to your wife. I can't keep up

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    2. I bet she was like that during courtship and you liked it then. Na wa o. That's not normal. She should see a shrink, there must be an underlying problem somewhere.

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    3. Doesnt she work?

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    4. I bet she was like that during courtship and you liked it then. Na wa o. That's not normal. She should see a shrink, there must be an underlying problem somewhere.

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    5. Doesnt she work?

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    6. My husband should be married to your wife. I can't keep up

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  20. Hahaha Kingsley send the mail sharp sharp

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  21. I am 30 yrs and have been married for 11yrs so i talk strictly out of experience. The truth is that women with a loving husband (e.g annoymous married for 9 yrs) dont know what other women go thru in the hands of theiir so called husbands.my dear you are have been married for two yrs and i tell you that is the most difficult time in marriage. The first two, three, fourth and even fifth yr are not always easy. Mine was like hell. But i bet you if you can endure with your husband and just hang in there you will definitely come out with stories to tell
    Pple the fact is ,it only takes the grace of God for a woman not to fall into the arms of another man during these trying times. Most married women regret their marriage am a typical example but my religion, upbringing did not allow me to cheat. I cant imagine myself kissing and having a screw with another man.
    My dear you should have it at the back of your mind that that man you are cheating with is also a cheat. He cant claim u are the only one in his life, so, all men are thesame. They prefer and goes crazy with the ones they do in secret, let that man you in as a wife and you will start to appreciate the bad husband you have got at home.
    Personally what i do is look good and hang out with my galfreinds.it makes me happy and feel good
    WOMEN MEN ARE NOT WORTH IT(EVEN THE ONES YOU ARE FLIRTING WITH)
    just a matter of opinion

    GWEN

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    Replies
    1. Best comment so far and I can really relate wth this. Been married for 4 years and these 4 years are the most trying times of my life. I'♏ still hanging on cos of the marriage vow I took. My hubby does not cheat and he's the most caring man I've even know.

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  22. One thing u dnt kno is dat immediately this guy hav a tatse of u,he wil dump u too. Lolzzz 2 wrongs dnt make a right. U rt complicatin U̶̲̥̅̊я life

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  23. Anon Married for 9 years and all you other so called happily married enduring wives...STFU! i bet you all are fat with zero self exteem hence allowing a man to take you for a rid. If you are hot and have self worth you would know how fun and fulfilling it is to be courted by another man if the one you have is treating you like shit.

    Most married women who cheat are not looking for love from the other man. it is just a way to make them feel better. So don't think they will be hurt if the other man "dumps them"

    I am married, I have been through some rough patch and i fantasized about cheating. so i will not judge who ever has done it.

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    1. U just another bad wife.. By the way,I'v bEen married for 15yrs, 3kids and I weigh 60kg and wear a size 8 UK.. That's hard to see and I work with a reputable firm,own my supermakt at the same time,so that means I have my acct(as fat as I want) but I respect my marriage vows. Don't intend cheating at all... So bcos ur marriage is crumbling and u depressed shouldn't make u think all marriages are like that.. My marriage is not perfect but its the best I'v seen so far.. My marriage is the envy of so many and I won't trade it for anything.. I'm not managing in my marriage and by the special grace of God,I would never manage as long as God lives.. Go figure out why ur marriage is crumbling and stop cheating... But if u want to be a divorcee,fine,go ahead and see how that works out for u with all urself worth

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  24. One thing u dnt kno is dat immediately this guy hav a tatse of u,he wil dump u too. Lolzzz 2 wrongs dnt make a right. U r complicatin U̶̲̥̅̊я life

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  25. Ladun pls what ur email address... I need to send something to u

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    Replies
    1. Zinnia:

      Her email addresses are:
      *ladunliadi@gmail.com
      *oladunniliadi@yahoo.com

      Delete
  26. Male friends are a no no for a married woman.As Chris rock said "male friends are like a dick in a bottle, in case of emergency break glass"

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  27. Looooool, *walking pass chewing chewing gum n making bubbles* Interesting.

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  28. happy yoruba bunny23 November, 2012 18:16

    marriage is an institution no one graduates from, for the fact that ts rosy for u today and ts tupsy turvy for a fellow woman does not make her less of a woman, or zero in bed or bad cook

    all needs prayers, some guys are never satisfied, having said that, i'll never judge anyone irrespective of d story they have put here and will not call anyone names

    what i know is only God gives happiness which no man can give, and for d one calling me names, i appreciate GBU!

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  29. Happy Yoruba bunny is that the story of your life and did you go to UNAD?

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    Replies
    1. Nah she went to FUTA! I see u happy yoruba bunny...keep drinking&drugging urself to sleep.

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  30. To all married women who their husbands are cheating on them, e-mail me at adeola203@yahoodotcom. I'll treat you right and fuck you real good. I have a good job in Lagos, and single. Holla @ your boy.

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  31. happy yoruba bunny23 November, 2012 20:28

    anons No, schooled and reside in malaysia

    whats UNAD???? pardon my question

    still single - no story yet, but v some friends and aunts wt not so good stories

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    Replies
    1. *lyrics lori gangan* yinmu*

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  32. UNAD is University of Ado Ekiti. Okay it's not you then.

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  33. See all the JUDGEginas on this thread. You should refrain from commenting until you have walked a mile in that person's shoes.

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  34. Enough of these mails please!!! Marriage is a beautiful institution.

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    http://iearn123.com/ref.php?page=act/ref&invcod=153341

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hmmmmm some pple think becoz they can speak English and type dat gives them d right to yarn rubbish and heap insults on a poor vulnerable married woman? I'm sure most of them are single o.Even d so called married for 9,15 or donkey yrs.I don't believe. If only u lot knew.as I'm typing dis, it's 2:07 am London time, I just had sex wt my husband, he came in like an hr ago, woke me up from my sweet dreams and decided he wants to fuck. Ok I wasn't in d mood at all( ladies u know dat kind thing wen u are extremely dry ) but for d sake of not longing d matter I let him but under 3 mins I got wet? How? Becoz I was thinking of my childhood sweetheart. We just hooked up on bb and its been like anoda love story all over again. My oga Thot I was enjoying it cos of him. Bn married for 7 yrs got two adorable kids, seen d good, d bad, and d boring side of marriage, wo, I can't shout.And to all of u thinking all married women are fat, old and expired cos u are still single and prob in ur twenties. Av u heard dat 30s are d new 20s. A 30 something married woman will give a 20 something single girl a good run for her money. Don't ever ever think like dat again.the name of d game is don't ever get caught. If u abide by d rules trust me u will be happier and u might probably live longer. Simple!!!!

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  37. Please please and please, nobody has the right to cheat in a marriage. Be it man or woman. If you know that you wouldnt , no matter what, be faithful to your spouse why get married @ the first place? You should have informed your spouse that when so, so and so things happen , that you wil cheat and mean it when you say it so that the other partner wil get the info. Please i stand to correct that wrong impression that men are polygamous in nature. This is so wrong and most unreasonable and indecent and even some decent men leverage on it. Was it not God that made man? Is HE stil not the one that makes them now? Is HE not the one that commands that men/women should stay clear off adultery? Marriage is full of surprises when it comes to expectation in character. If your wife or husband shows bad character after matchin down to aisle, try and work it with him or her and not cheatin. Nobody has the right to cheat. Cheating brings spiritual damages in marriage. The bible says: the two shall become one flesh: when the two are one flesh , peace, morality, prosperity, God's intervention, understandin, divine accceleration, good and morally trainned children, wil be created. But when you fuck another woman or man, you guys are no longer one flesh. Look around and weigh 60percent of marriages today, lack of peace, love, understand, money, morally upright children, are what you wil see, this is exactly what sleeping with another woman or man can cause, spiritually. This is a sexually perverted world, and that is why people who refused to understand the devices of the devil, hang in on that statement that men are polygamous in nature. Does it means that all men wil go to hell because adultery alone can send one to the bottomless pit of hell? Faithfulness is the key to the presence of holy spirit in a house. King david in the bible suffered a lot because of adultery, imagine, a man God himself called "a man after my own heart" God forgave him but he suffered. Why wouldnt married men and women ever learn that the repercurssions of adultery is always heavy? David suffered a lot :the death of his infant son; his own son raped his own daughter; his own son killed another of his son; his own son rebelled and threw him out of government; his own son was sleeping with his wife in the full glare of the public, all these happens just because he commited adultery once. Please my people, now is stil time, lets save our homes, children and ourselves from the damages that infidelity could cause. Remember, whatsoever one soweth, so shall he reap. Thank you ladun for this story

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  38. I av started cheatn on my hubi and I don't care at all..my only reason 4 still hangn is cos of my kids.Make any comment I don't care but remember u aint in my shoes and u av no clue of ow uncomfortable is d shoe 4 mi

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  39. I am a single lady in her thirties and I do not support cheating on a man whether good or bad but some the the overly sanctimonious women giving their bit is sooooo annoying. You def hav no rite to judge cos nobody is perfect. If u r a xtain you will b familiar with the alduterous in the bible Jesus Saved from being stoned. I knw when one is what we will describe as a loveless marriage, over time we tend to find succor elsewhere. And if someone seems to appreciate at that time, the woman craves it. My dear women I do understand but pray for strength, the other person may not b better. Remember ur hubby was once such a sweetie. Direct your energies to something positive and if u ave to leave the marriage for ur sanity by all means do. I knw sha body no b wood

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  40. Adeola203@yahoo.com you are a disrespectful fool. Because the men folk is populated with idiots like you women r going thru a lot. Get a life worth living or follow ur hearts desire and become a prostitute or a gigolo

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