Wednesday, May 8, 2013

A Sunday With Pastor Fireman By Ben Ezeamalu

Pastor Fireman is the General Overseer of Sign Fireman Miracle Crusade...a church quite popular among Nigerian celebrities. His real name is Ofuche Ukoha and he's from Abia State. He wedded his young bride in his church on the 28th of April.

The controversy surrounding Fireman’s ministry lies mostly in the ‘signs and wonders’ he performs during his service, the miracles being astounding and outrageous in one breath.

A church flyer I was clutching showed a Sister Effiwatt testifying on how “the Man of God” raised her from the dead “instantly;” a Brother Olamide said he was cured “from seven years of total madness;” while Brother Okafor narrated how he went from abject poverty to owning his own house.


    When Sunday’s Healing and Miracles session began, it was no different.

    Fireman set the ball rolling by likening the power of God to electrical power which can be converted to sound, mechanical, light.

    “If you need healing, the power can turn into healing. Now if you need money, the Bible says the power can turn into wealth. The power of God is the multi-purpose solution. Whatever you need, all you have to do is receive power,” he said then added, “Before I came to the service today, the Lord assured me that he’s going to heal at least 70 profound people.”

    Claps and cheers erupted and then, the miracles began.

    Fireman moved to the first man, who said he fell and hit his leg and ever since has been walking with aid of a stick. Suddenly, the man dropped his stick and began to walk.

    The congregation cheered.

     He moved to the next man, who said he hadn’t walked for two and a half years, and hugged him. The man rose, started to walk, at first gingerly, before racing across the altar, jumping up and down.

    Again, there were cheers.

    And then as if a thought just struck him, Fireman paused, called Pastor Chigozie, one of his junior pastors and offered him a Jaguar – which he said was bought for Fireman by a member a week ago.

    The congregation rose from their seats to clap and cheer.

    “The moment I count from one to seven, the first 12 people to stand up, your lives shall change forever. Seven out of you, within the next 60 days, you will touch your first million,” Fireman announced.

    He began to count and when he got to seven, everyone in the church stood up abruptly. I thought of all the things a million bucks could do in my life and leapt up from my plastic seat.

    The miracles continued, gradually taking the semblance of a stage play, except that the congregation believed it was not.

    A young woman began to roll on the floor of the altar, screaming, “She must serve me. She must serve me or I’ll frustrate her life. She must serve me.”

    The pastor approached her.

    “Are you ready to leave her?” he asked addressing the ‘demon’ inside the woman.

    “Never,” the demon retorted, laughing maniacally.

    A man in a grey beard walked towards the pastor, wagging a finger at his face and said, “You can’t do anything. I challenge you.”

    “You challenge me?” Fireman asked.

    “Yes. Who are you?” the grey-bearded man replied.

    “You want to know who I am? I’ll take strength out of you!”

    The pastor blew into his microphone thrice and the man collapsed in a heap.

    “That is who I am,” Fireman declared.

    The congregation cheered.

    The man- judging by his accent, a Ghanaian- appearing remorseful, slowly rose to his feet and the pastor informed him that the cause of his problems were his grandfather but that he, Fireman, was going to send the “demons” back to the grandfather.

    “Take a phone and call Ghana. In the next five minutes, he (the grandfather) will have a stroke,” Fireman said. “I’m not the first to do it. In Mark, Chapter 5, Jesus allowed demons to enter pigs.”

    A woman told the pastor that her “pikin has been missing since one month.”

    The pastor patted her on the shoulder, “Angel don find am. Now go.”

    The woman walked away.

    Testimony time

    If I had thought that the Healing and Miracles session was a dress rehearsal for incredulity, the testimonies were a class act.

    At 10:10 a.m., they began.

    Fireman took up his seat on a cream coloured upholstered chair at the altar, allowing a junior pastor to run proceedings.

    The first lady narrated how after the ‘Man of God’ blessed” her, she moved from having no job to getting six different offers in two weeks, including a phone call from a firm she never applied to.

    The junior pastor asked her to step forward, turned to the congregation, pointed to Fireman and said, “I want 25 people to hold a seed of N1, 000 and come and drop at his (Fireman) feet. As you are returning to your seat, something must happen.”

    Dozens of worshippers dashed towards the altar with their ‘seeds.’

    Another member narrated how she used her “last N200 to sow a seed” the previous Sunday and how, six days later, “God surprised me and I’m laughing now.”

    The junior pastor called for people to bring N200 to the feet of Fireman.

    “Sow like a fool. Something must enter your hand. Your financial position is about to change. The person holding your money would release it after today.”

    A crowd trooped towards the altar to drop their money at ‘Daddy’s’ feet.

    The next testimony was from a woman who said that she had been barren for eight years but two months after she began attending the church, “the thing enter.”

    Again, the junior pastor’s voice rang out from the altar.

    “If you are here this morning and you are looking for a fruit of the womb or you know someone looking for a fruit of the womb, pick up a seed and come and drop here. The God of Fireman will surprise you.”

    This time it was women that thronged the altar.

    The next two testimonies sounded plain absurd to me: One lady claimed that after she was blessed by Fireman, she went to the market and the money in her purse “refused to finish.” A second lady testified that after her own blessing, the N100 notes in her bag turned to N200 notes.

    “How’s that possible?” I asked the woman, nursing a baby beside me, my mouth half open.

    The nursing mum smiled, “There’s nothing God cannot do.”

Culled from: www.premiumtimesng.com

44 comments:

  1. Ladun bring the Sumbo Ajaba jist here jor. Shebi na your person.

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  2. hmmn... that's all i can say, yipee...first to comment.

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    1. don't bring this first to comment crap here please, respect yourself k!!!

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    2. not really. hahahahahahaa. i left the Sumbo comment and like I care?

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  3. TOLUWALASHE'S BOO IS A LUNATIC!!!08 May, 2013 15:08

    A T E N T T I O N ! E V E R Y O N E T H E R E 'S A P S Y C H O O N T H I S B L O G and her name is TOLUWALASHE'S BOO!!!

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    1. just stop the bullying. leave her alone. abuse her all you like when you get tired you will have a cold drink.

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    2. U dey crase abi she bully's too, serves her write bahahahahaha

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    3. Spell properly.

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  4. hmm.............. Na wa ooooo

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  5. odi very very serious!

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  6. Lanre Onward08 May, 2013 15:22

    what a beautiful stage performance? the only difference between the church and silverbird Cinema is that in silverbird you pay before you enter the arena with small fee, but in the church you pay when the play is on but with your life savings.

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    1. Lmao.................drama rehearsal every Tuesday n Friday...dnt miss out,if u wanna b part of d stage performance

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  7. But seriously this man is MOCKING GOd big time and how people cannot see that baffles me. Yes there are some pastors that are on top of their game but the likes of this one, TB Joshua, Oyakhilome to me are all not operating under the annointing... Unless fireman maybe does not call Jesus and God when he ministers. I hear a lot of "the god of fireman" so maybe it is the god that he serves and not our Savior Jesus Christ in that instance he can do whatever he pleases

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    1. the only part of your comment i disagree with is the one you r stating that some ppl are not anointed men of GOD do you have any grounds to prove they are not or you are just making a sweeping comment without any foundation or proof

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    2. @ humma :

      Correction: God cannot be mocked

      ◄ Galatians 6:7 ►

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    3. GBAM!!!! God cannot be mocked

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  8. the million dollar question here is, Mr reporter, have you made that your own million or not this week? if you have, you may want to give your write up a rethink o. Maybe God is really using fireman who knows

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  9. mocking GOD on a big time scale. This guy no fear at all. Drop money are a pastors feet??? really? na Jesus? tufia. God is indeed full of mercy because the likes of Ofuche would have been struck dead instantly. He really is a bold person

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  10. laughing my fuuking ass off, I swear i can cure cancer in impregnate your wifes, throw money at my feet

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  11. The church no longer teach about the Cross or Sin any more! God help us!

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    1. don't generalize about that, the church still does except if you attend a church that doesn't....while we agree there are bad eggs the church of God in Nigeria is still strong and doing exploits....

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  12. LOOOOOOL...na wa for how hardship/ suffering has turned otherwise sensible people to zombies...GEJ We plead for you to make a difference its not too late

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  13. Na wa o. Nigerians are this dumb to attend such a church? What a pity. My sympathies.

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    1. loool some people are testifying that there money no dey finish and u ask such a question lmao

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  14. LAUGHING SO HARD IN DA OFFICE!!! CHOI!!!

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  15. while i dont believe in this mockery and twisting of the bible including the fleecing of vulnerable sick i think congregants sometimes have this tendency to overdo sometimes i have witnessed people coming up with the most absurd testimonies just to endear themselves to the MOG and wife

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  16. i feel you hand touching money on everyone you shake,its not for every one just sow a seed of 50k.. hmmmm as many of you single men who needs a wife i feel the anointing in a slap from me to you,you don't need to sow,just a slap and your miracle is sure for a wife, oo geegi geegi geegi all single trouble insuting ladies in this blog that never miss ladun's post i hear the only solution to your problem is when you eat shit,and if you come after me ehehehe i reserve my prophesy for when you do.. Finally the last miracle is for Edo guy, i hear it loud and clear that, that sister you feel is not your type that brought you to ladun is your wife thank Nakpozie later thou she is my sis eehehehehehhe

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    1. DRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! TONGUEOUT*

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    2. anons park well,see ur tongue like horse tail, if he dry why u reply,frog eye

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  17. Drama nation.
    The good nigerian

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  18. Are we this gullible in dis country! Sow seed! Sow seed! Misterpretation. Thank God for knowledge and d ability to read my bible

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  19. only God knows

    obyazike.blogspot.co.uk

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  20. I stopped going to naija churches for a while when I realised it was just a con, but all this testimonies is making me change my mind, there is a lot of laffs to be had in these places biko

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  21. If truly, he performed all these miracles why was Enebeli Elebuwa's case different? I hope his congregation is not just foolish?

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  22. Lmao @ 'money in my bag refused to finish'...maybe she's the new widow of zarephath. N100 to N200...dat's anoda wedding @ d cana of galilee(water turns to wine).na wah o. God have mercy

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  23. please, where is this church located. can someone help me with the address.

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  24. The bible spoke of signs of the last days where false prophets and anti-christ will arise, so dont be surprise that all these things are taking place, the bible's prophecies has to be fulfilled.

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  25. hahahahaahahah,dts al ma brain is telling ma mouth to do buhhahahahahahahah

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  26. Na wa oo let me leave the judgement 4 God shaa... http://t.co/HpTl0xAdlR pls open and like the pix on the page...Thanks

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  27. wonders shall never cease to occour, Catholic for lifeeeeeeee

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  28. Religion is 'truly' the opium of the masses. The end times are here when false prophets shall rise. Make una read una bible well o!

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