Thursday, May 9, 2013

Reaction To REAL ISSUES With Oliseh

Thanks to everyone who has contributed to REAL ISSUES WITH OLISEH. I must confess that I never knew that it would be a hit. Aside the online comments, I received personal mails with some requesting for my phone lines.

I really need lots of grace, inspiration and wisdom from God and your prayers. I only pledge to offer my best in form of counsel when I can. I must confess that I am not the answer to anyone’s problem, God is.

I encourage you to speak instead of dying in silence. For those I have not replied their personals, please pardon me as I will do so as soon as possible. Please click to read his reply to the lady whose husband is cheating on her.


‘My Husband is cheating on me’

To the lady whose husband is cheating on, I really share in your pain. I am assuming that your assertion that he is cheating on you is true because you did not give any further information to buttress your claim. All the same, I want to first commend your declaration that you will never cheat on him. Please, never do that, not just because you love him but also because you will be hurting yourself too and offending God.

I want to state that there is no reason to justify infidelity in marriage but here we are trying to touch the root causes of subject at hand, to see how you can begin to work at getting your man back. Considering your age, your marriage must still be quite young. Though I do not have much details but I want to start by looking at some possible reasons why a man may cheat on his wife. Some of them include, but not limited to the following. !) Lack of s*xual satisfaction from wife (quantity and quality wise), 2) inability of wife to live up to his expectations (personal difference), 3) he just want to prove to be a man by going hunting and conquering (to satisfy personal ego), 4) if he does not love his wife any more, 5) due to external female pressure, 6) peer pressure 7) many other reasons.

But infidelity does not start in one day. Most times it is a result of relationship break down which has its origin in lack of effective communication in marriage. The mistake must women make is to start fighting and making troubles with the man. This is most times counterproductive because you will succeed in pushing him further into the arms of the other woman. If your aim is to reclaim you husband, (which I think is the ideal thing to do) my advice is that you first try and discover where ‘you’ missed it; where the affair went wrong. I am not saying that it’s your fault but you need to pay the price and have your man back. Be good to him, show him love as much as possible and prayerfully try to reclaim the heart of your husband. If you are still having quality time and communication with him, discuss it with him and trust God for a change of heart.

Again without trying to justify infidelity, I want to say that the men are now daily exposed to all sorts of s*xual temptation. S*x is everywhere; on television, music, ladies physical dressing etc. Because of the mental wiring of women, it does not tempt as it does men. I advise every married woman to always pray about their husbands’ s*xuality.

Finally my sister, God is the father of all. He sees and knows what you are passing through and He is interested in your joy. Go to Him in prayer and ask for deliverance for your husband. Pray against every s*xual soul tie. S*x is deeper than we know.

Last word: If he continues, please protect yourself from s*xual transmitted diseases.

I pray that God will intervene and heal your marriage.

Though some women end up accepting it in their marriage, other don’t, which is natural if you really love your man.

28 comments:

  1. You have said it all

    ReplyDelete
  2. end of story,ladies hope sey una don hear

    ReplyDelete
  3. There is no excuse to indulge in such expendition. It's lack of moral.frank.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. did you see him give any excuse it in the first place??..abeg go and seat down jare

      Delete
  4. i hope this advise will apply if it was woman doing the philandering.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You forgot to add self control. All these are just excuses because he's not the only that faces such daily and believe it or not, women too face issues like that. So whether its a husband or wife cheating, itis lack of fear of God and self control. All other reasons are just wicked justifications that hold no water

    ReplyDelete
  6. I dont see a real answer here and that is because there is no real way to stop a cheating man. That is just the truth. They have no self control and living in society that widely accepts it does not help matter. My two options if I get married to a cheat is like Oliseh has said, I will use protection at all times or leave him. I just cant imagine accepting cheating and being the humble quiet wife. The latter is a painful thot

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't seem to understand why people always feel or think it's the woman's fault when a man cheats...I hear and read it online virtually everyday; She's not dressing fine, not looking hot, she's dirty, not good in bed....please, I beg to differ!!!....even if she's a drop dead beauty, a tiger in bed ..if a man will cheat , he will cheat. Enough of blaming women, and women feeling guilty because of their cheating husbands...Romans 5:8.But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.......Ephesians 5:25 ..Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.....so men love your wives,just as Christ loves..if he could die for us when we were filthy, and not worthy....then he is telling you to also LOVE YOUR WOMEN when she's not sexy, scattered hair,fat body and all that....at the same time, women too should not be carefree and careless with the way they handle their marriage and make efforts to always become better everyday..soul, spirit and body...and have a purpose for their lives....Marriage is just a part or aspect of life, it's not the essence or doesn't sum up as the essence....find ur purpose,have dreams , follow after them, and touch lives!!!....at least when you grow old and look back..you can smile that you lived, enjoyed and fulfilled your purpose in life...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just had to comment on this,God bless u for ur wisdom.

      Delete
    2. Preach! Tanx for dis...! I'll like to know his advise to a man with a cheating wife!

      OnPoint

      Delete
    3. INDEED VERY WISE WORDS...MOST WOMEN THINK MARRIAGE IS THE FINAL BUS-STOP OF THEIR LIVES...I HAVE BEEN TOLD OF WOMEN WHO "ENDURE" A CHEATING HUSBAND EVEN WHEN HE INFECTS THEM WITH STD'S FROM OUTSIDE.....ITS PATHETIC......GOD DIDN'T CREAT WOMEN TO BE FOOT MATS TO MEN....YOUR BRAIN ISN'T ANY SMALLER BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN....EVERY WOMAN HAS A RIGHT TO HAPPINESS IN LIFE...MARRIED OR NOT....WHY ARE SOME WOMEN IN BONDAGE, MESERABLE AND BROKEN HEARTED WHILE THEIR HUSBANDS ARE GALAVANTING ABOUT WITH GIRLS THAT WILL DO "EVERYTHING" IN BED WITH THE MAN....WOMEN NEED TO TAKE THEIR HAPPINESS AND DESTINY IN THEIR OWN HANDS, AND STOP BEING PATHETIC AND FRUSTRATED!

      Delete
    4. Hello! I totally DISAGREE with your comment above and mind you, I am a woman.

      First, I will say Oliseh is completely right in his words. He has given a PRACTICAL detail of what goes on in real home settings and among human beings called men and women NOT ANGELS.

      Secondly, I can only SMH for your kinds who think the bible was created for one partner, forgetting that for every verse of the bible, there is always another to counter it. You have forgotten that you are first a man before a born-again or bible believer. This is how many of you loose your rights and destiny to unreality.

      Third, people like you will read Ephesians 4 vs 26a but will close the bible before your eyes moves to vs 26b.

      You quoted Ephesians 5 vs 25 but you ignored Ephesians 5 vs 22-24 that says "Wives, SUBMIT yourselves unto your own HUSBANDS, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the SAVIOUR OF THE BODY. Therefore as the CHURCH IS SUBJECT UNTO CHRIST, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."

      Forth, SUBMIT there means satisfy not bowing when he talks. SAVIOUR OF THE BODY means the bible knows there are breasts on a woman chest, she's got legs, face etc. CHURCH IS SUBJECT UNTO CHRIST means if you would do anything or heed to Christs principles just for you to make Heaven, then do the same to your husband.

      Fifth, according to your words above (She's not dressing fine, not looking hot, she's dirty, not good in bed....please, I beg to differ!!!). Don't beg to differ cos the guy saw something in you first before he called you to be his wife. He saw a slim or average looking girl with tidy hair, good sex and good cooking and cleanliness. But now you claim to have children and allow your indiscipline self to blow away. PLEASE HE MARRIED A LADY NOT HIS ELDEST AUNTY. Stop using your children or "we are fat in my family" as an excuse for your indiscipline, laziness and carelessness. Don't allow people to refer to you as his elder sister....it's embarrassing.

      Above all, thank you Mr Oliseh and for the woman in question, take heed!

      Delete
    5. STOP AND SHUT YOUR LYING MOUTH COS YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN.....THEN IF YOU ARE A WOMAN OF COURSE YOU ARE A BLOODY HYPOCRITE......MR OLISEH HAS NOT SAID ANYTHING HERE COS ALL I SEE IS BLAME FOR THE WOMAN WHOSE HUSBAND IS CHEATING.....ITS SAD THAT EVEN SO CALLED MEN OF GOD STILL CANNOT GET IT PAST THEMSELVES TO BLAME THE WOMEN.....WHY MUST IT BE THE WOMEN THAT HAS TO CHECK HERSELF ANYTIME THE MAN CHEATS? ENOUGH OF STUPID EXCUSES BLAMING WOMEN FOR CHEATING MEN..DO YOU KNOW THE NUMBER OF WOMEN THAT ARE TOTALLY PISSED OFF WITH THEIR HUSBANDS ATTITUDE YET STILL REMAIN FAITHFUL......MARRIAGE IS NOT A DO OR DIE MATTER AND THE ONLY REASON THAT WILL MAKE ME REMAIN FAITHFUL IN MY MARRIAGE IS GOD.....I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 8 YRS AND MY HUSBAND HAS CHEATED ON ME SEVERALLY, I HAVE WARNED HIM THAT THE NEXT ONE I HEAR OFF I WILL HAVE MY OWN AFFAIR COS HE IS NOT THE ONLY MAN IN THE WORLD OR WHO ADMIRES ME....AND YOU KNOW WHAT EVEN IF HE FINDS OUT I DON'T CARE WHAT HIM OR SOCIETY THINKS....IF E NO WANT AGAIN HE IS FREE TO LIVE......THERE IS NO MARRIAGE IN HEAVEN, SO MEN SHOULD BE TOLD THE TRUTH THAT THEY LACK SELF CONTROL.....IT IS AN INSULT TO THE ALMIGHTY GOD TO KEEP MAKING IT LOOK LIKE HE CREATED MEN TO CHEAT.....ZIP YOUR BLOODY PANTS UP, GET SELF CONTROL AND STOP BLAMING YOUR LUST ON WOMEN.....

      Delete
    6. Instead of you to check yourself and see whether you are doing anything wrong that is pushing your husband to the hands of other women, you are threatening your husband. Go ahead and get boyfriends the next time you catch your husband cheating on you. Get them plenty. Turn your self into a receptacle for seminal fluids from all sorts of men. Go ahead. Women like u think marriage is a game of tit for tat, abi? Go on and let us see where this will lead you. Who knows, you may be lucky one of those men you will be sleeping with may throw caution to the winds and decide to wife u up.
      Those that have been destined to be destroyed, are first made not to see reason. Go ahead. The boys are all waiting for you. I bet some of them are here already reading what you wrote and thinking of how to link u up for the feast to start.

      Delete
  8. God bless you Mr olise. Most people hate to accept the truth.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Na men they cause all these problems. Sit in one place hian they won't.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I concur

    obyazike.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you Mr Olise. The truth of the matter is that if u have a serial cheater as a spouse, you have 2 options as advised by Mr Olise and these are:
    1. You stay in the toxic and unhealthy relationship
    2. You leave the toxic and unhealthy relationship.
    Me, I will advise u to leave. A spouse who continue to cheat on you without any regard to decency has lost all respect for u, so why do u want to stay in that kind of environment? But before u leave as also advised by Mr Olise, you should do all u can to make sure you are not the root cause of this calamity. Most often than not, women are usually the root cause of a cheating husband. Yes, that is a fact. If u don't believe this, you can painstakingly study relationships that involves cheating partners if u have the time. Most ladies will never believe this because some of them believe that it is 'competition' whenever they are in a relationship. For some ladies, it is 'You do this I do that' whenever they are in a relationship. No, it should never be like that. Relationship should be about respect for each other. Respect, even for a cheating spouse while u try your best to find out the reasons for the cheating.
    Olu.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. shut your stupid mouth... how many relationships did you study to find out women are mostly the cause of infidelity in marriage? why do you think a woman should tolerate a mans flaws and the woman cannot? are you saying men are better behaved than women? women should accept men and their flaws while a man should go and cheat when his wife has flaws abi? u are an idiot and have not said anything better than the mr oliseh.....you men are all fools and randy he goats.....yes even my father including so women should not live their lives dependent on any man....if you cant take the infidelity then leave, if you don't want to leave and its convenient then have your own affair....if he leaves the marriage fine, cant be the end of your life.....bottom line is men are randy by nature but if you see a good one fine if not life goes on.....

      Delete
  12. INDEED VERY WISE WORDS...MOST WOMEN THINK MARRIAGE IS THE FINAL BUS-STOP OF THEIR LIVES...I HAVE BEEN TOLD OF WOMEN WHO "ENDURE" A CHEATING HUSBAND EVEN WHEN HE INFECTS THEM WITH STD'S FROM OUTSIDE.....ITS PATHETIC......GOD DIDN'T CREAT WOMEN TO BE FOOT MATS TO MEN....YOUR BRAIN ISN'T ANY SMALLER BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN....EVERY WOMAN HAS A RIGHT TO HAPPINESS IN LIFE...MARRIED OR NOT....WHY ARE SOME WOMEN IN BONDAGE, MESERABLE AND BROKEN HEARTED WHILE THEIR HUSBANDS ARE GALAVANTING ABOUT WITH GIRLS THAT WILL DO "EVERYTHING" IN BED WITH THE MAN....WOMEN NEED TO TAKE THEIR HAPPINESS AND DESTINY IN THEIR OWN HANDS, AND STOP BEING PATHETIC AND FRUSTRATED!


    LET ME ALSO ADD *STOP BLAMING YOURSELVES*

    ReplyDelete