Tuesday, June 4, 2013

He Does Not Want A Court Wedding

I have been dating this guy and the whole wedding preparation is in full gear, but another side of him is showing now. The bone of contention here is that I want a court wedding and he saying we won't have one. Fine, what are your reasons? I asked him. And he said because he's human and if he impregnates someone else, that means the child won't have a right to his property.

In fact I was shocked and dumbfounded by his reason as I don't think he ever puts me into consideration. My family is richer than his so which property am I coming after? I'm so confused right now and i have been asking myself if he truly loves me.

Do i go ahead with our marriage plans or should i tell my parents to put a stop to our marriage planning preparations? Does he care about me? Will my agreeing not to have a court wedding put my future at stake as it seems I won't be a priority even as his wife? Please its very urgent. Wedding day approaching, need to make a decision fast. Please I don't want to make a mistake because I don't have much experience relationship wise.

184 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. the bitter truth is probably he has a child already before he met you, please you really need to be cocksure on this, ask him if he has a child already....and you need to hold on with the wedding plan for now, do your findings.

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    2. Ladun, you didn't have to approve this you know?

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    3. I will be honest with you and tell you to leave the dude, as hard as it may be..a man who is already talking about impregnating another woman??? RUN , RUN, RUN for your dear life..It shows he has no plans of keeping the vows you both are about to take. This guy might even decide to marry another wife, that may be the real reason why he is avoiding a court wedding. My dear,leave him so you don't end up biting your fingers tomorrow. Forget what people will say, your happiness is top priority.God will bless you with a wonderful and true man. Every woman deserves that. good luck. Princess

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    4. When u did this yest it was funny. Not anymore. This aunty has a valid concern, although she shldnt be taking relationship advice from anonymous bloggers on such a serious issue.

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    5. It's clear that he has d intention of cheating on you , and I think he has someone he love already and u might just be there ATM to wealth after he leaves u.sorry dear

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    6. Honey run!!!! That dude's a time bomb waiting to blow.

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    7. Who's ds creep alwais postin ".." as comments?

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    8. My dear,please don't deceive yourself,this man is being sincere by telling you that you might not be the only one he will marry,if you go ahead with the wedding and he eventually marry another woman,he will tell you that he has told you before....a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage..it's either he goes to the court with you or forget the wedding...

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    9. My dear,please don't deceive yourself,this man is being sincere by telling you that you might not be the only one he will marry,if you go ahead with the wedding and he eventually marry another woman,he will tell you that he has told you before....a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage..it's either he goes to the court with you or forget the wedding...

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    10. He has just made known what he is capable of and ready to defend his future action.

      Be Wise!

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    11. My dear, if he does not want to have a court wedding , cancel the damn wedding and dont go ahead.. The registry part of things is the real marriage not the aso ebi feferity.... you have rights as a woman if you are married to him legally! dont dull yourself o!
      And as per the reason her gave you.. that is the most stupid, selfish reason any man that claims he loves a woman will ever give her! really? babes, i think you should think twice before putting your head in this disaster! remember, a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage! if you leave him now, no one will call you a divorcee!!
      Btw ladun, fix your blog, it is not easy trying to comment on here! with the comment box jumping up and down... dont drive your readers away!

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    12. U are becoming annoying with dis ur dot dot.the first time u did it,we all laughed.it was classic and that should be it.It has no value anymore.Just so u knw.

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    13. ladun is not agony aunt, so the people who bring their problems to ladun do so so she can put it out there and they will hear different opinions.....so pls if you dont have anything concrete to say pls no insults....i know some of you have no proprer home training therefore cannot control your dirty mouths but when people are looking for advice try and be humane....

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    14. The uselessness and boldness of men now is alarming. My hubby cheated on me durin courting, I actually left, I should have never returned cause less than a year ino the marriage he's at it again. Now I be a child and it's complicated but not for long, an bidding my time before I leave. In the meantime I keep in shape and stay hardworking. Thank GOd for distance, I don't have to deal with the awkwardness of a sexual relationship with him. My dear, this is your time, runnnn. It's so much harder when you are in the marriage. I won't bore you with all the details but they can drive you insane and this your own no get fear sef. At least my hubby tries to lie and cover up and spare my feelings. Not that I appreciate it.

      For the court thing, I didn't do. I don't care cos I can make my own money.

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    15. Well said! Very childish just like those first to comment ish. Kindly stop.

      Just in
      Actress Nse Ikpe Etim glows in her new photos LOOK while stylish grandma rocks see- through top. Surpriesd LOOK

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  2. Dump him asap.

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  3. If he doesn't wasn't a court wedding, he doesn't want a wedding either, he's a silly cheat, he's got other plans, I guess he's thinking ahead of you....

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  4. Run!!!!! He's probably married

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  5. Please do not marry him, u know y? I know him well, he already has a kid outside nd wud ve mre....kmt

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  6. wake up and smell d coffee girl, this man has told u point blank that he's going to cheat and he's also waiting for u to make a decision- its either u deal with it or take a walk. Marrying him means u have given ur consent.

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  7. Aboki Na Mallam04 June, 2013 05:50

    Once again you choose to insult our intelligence with all these nonsense stories. FOR THOSE THAT ARE MARRIED, How many of you got legally married in a church without first going to the marriage registry? for you to be married at all, you MUST get a certificate (license) from the registry. So this gist is so fake. Except the guy is married and has arranged with a "na me na you" church to join two of you illegally.

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    1. shut up you idiot.....i did my church wedding in 2005 and did my court years later..some churches enforce it and others dont...so please cut the crap.because you have no experience of an issue you call it fake, broeadedn your mind cos the world does not end on your street....myopic fool, cos you do not know or have an experience of something you call it fake....

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    2. Lmao @ myopic fool..jez

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  8. First of all babes, its not called Court wedding. Its called @ Statutory Marriage cos u guys are gettin married under the Marriage Act conducted @the Marriage Registry of the Ministry of Interior bla bla bla....
    Secondly, babes you NEED it. Naija men are not to be trusted. Once u tie him down @d registry, u guys are married under the act which is LAW.You break d law, u commit an offence. He dares not leave you and even if he wants a divorce, U can only get that from the Court of law after d court must have asked you both to discuss terms of seTtlement, maintenance, custody of ur children and what have you.
    Dats the surest way to tie a man down I think. Cos if he tries to marry anoda woman while u guys are still married, dats illegal. Pls don't agree not to have a statutory marriage. And pls keep ur marriage certificate o. Let him be the one to get d CTC wen he eventually needs it. Let d original be with you. This men are not to be trusted!!!

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    1. Aunty statutory marriage. Na wa has that made your life better? Pls if you are n Rome speak like the Romans. You shld go check how official english words are made. ITK wey still write jamb twice

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  9. Ure funny, u don't av an experience relationshipwise and u want to go into marriage. With the answer he gave u, he already has a child somewhere or plans to be a polygamist. If u knw u can't handle such u better think twice. And by the way u know the right decision deep inside of u so act wise!

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    1. you are foolish oh, so someone who has no relationship experience cannot marry abi? if she is sure of her decision why would she be asking for advise......hypocritical cynicism like yours irritate me, you think you know it all

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  10. He is scared.
    Secondly,I would say he is not ready but hey where are you guys,abroad? If you guys live abroad he maybe scared of the SHE power that women have abroad,so he doesn't want to loose a lot if he eventually divorce which may not be,I am only thinking for you.
    Lastly,perhaps he meant no harm,he just may have put the words in a wrong way that posed as a threat to you now.

    It's a chance,no marriage is ever perfect even the so called men of God still face challenges. Not everyone that talks about their martial problems have problems ,most people have decided to fight crisis in their marriages rather than searching for a perfect man in this wordly world,not giving up is super brilliant,just some stages will come and go in due time.

    Once you overcome those stages the rest will be History. Don't call it off because the next man maybe worst. As a guy I will tell you men these days are shying away from commitment. It's a huge responsibility,seek God to lead you through.

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  11. Pls run away from him as fast as u can.

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  12. Is that a question, do you want to get married to a man who just confessed that he is able to and most likely going to have extra marital affairs , you want to be sharing your hubby with different women ba?..the man is obviously not ready to commit, break it off and move on sister, marraige is for life not 2 weeks you'll have to live with your descison every moment of every day for the rest of your life!..run o - amakalette

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  13. Pls and pls get tins straight,uhmm or if possible involve ur family in dis.Is he amuslim. Cos same tin happened 2 my younger sister who got married less dan a month,d guy does not want a court wedding and beside dat he is a lawyer and a christian. I still find it difficult 4 a lawyer not 2 have a court wedding,try talking 2 my sister but she went ahead wit d wedding.I only told d guy 1 tin,if he mess up wit my sister.uhmmm he has me 2 face.

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  14. And why are scared of Church marriage?
    The man is upright and truthful, either you guy should make changes to d contract(court) or you stop this madness before you come crying again on this blog that he cheated or stop have sex with you

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    Replies
    1. na so una dey fail exam...next time pls read the post well like 3 times, then when you understand then comment cos your answer is out of point....lol.....thank me later

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  15. Girl abeg cancel d wedding sharp sharp,he has a girl he is presently dating n intends impregnating, he does not want to b held down by any legal terms, abeg run he doesn't love u enough as to be d only mother of his children.

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  16. a very stupid question. even an idiot will stall the wedding. better inform your parents.out of your desperation to be a married woman, you want to settle for less.

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    1. you should be ashamed of yourself....y the insult, its obvious you sre the stupid one.....gosh i hate people who think they know it all yet know nothing.....has it occured to you she might not really know? then how does it make you a better person instead of advising someone you call them stupid....grow up and change your attitude cos it stinks

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    2. @ anonymous 13:08, I believe I am entitled to my opinion,even a sane person can ask a stupid question. If I believed that only desperation can make a lady ask such a question, it's none of your business. If I thought the question was stupid then it's stupid, it's my opinion and if you don't like it please STFU! where did I insult her? you obviously need the advice you gave out free of charge. How about you read the nonsense you wrote? you matured dimwit. Oh and by the way, your english stinks.

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  17. What a stupid and insensitive reason. Your marriage is already doomed before it starts. Better find the fastest route out.

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  18. My advice to you is to bring both families into it, if you don't have a court wedding the law doesn't recognise your marriage, it's as good as you just got married traditionally. This means the law wouldn't protect you and your kids in an event that he dies, you might not want his property but your children are entitled to what you both worked hard for. So bring both families together and trash it out, it is too important to ignore, if possible halt the plans for now.

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  19. You better cancel that wedding fast. You r lucky he showed his true colour before the wedding. Imagine him saying, what if he impregnates someone. WTF. If u go ahead with the wedding, whatever you see, you take

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  20. First and foremost no church in Nigeria will wed u witout a court wedding. But for a man who is abt to get married to be acting like dis ,pls RUN fast..kos u ll regret it.he may just nt be running frm wat he may do bt wathe has already done.maybe he has kids somewhere or is planning to.........SONEE

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    1. My dear some mushroom backyard churches still do

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    2. My dear some mushroom backyard churches still do

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  21. Oh dear, talk to someone more experienced fast, maybe your mom, elder sister or older woman friend. For me I will ask you to look at things critically. He will have lots of girlfriends and most likely sleep with them without protection since he is talking about having a child outside his marriage. I don't think you should put yourself in trouble.

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  22. U r about to enter one chance walahi!

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  23. What are u still doing with him,if b4 marrying u,he already has it in mind to cheat u!despite his marital vows,pls free him cos he doesn't want u to sue his sorry ass to court if he messes up













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  24. He doesnt love you. When u love someone u don't think about cheating and impregnanting another already (sex without protection).

    If he gets aids, u'll get it!!!

    Take a bow, he isnt ur man!

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  25. D reason he doesn't want court wedding is because wen u get married @ d court,u will ve rite 2 all his properties and in case he dies,d would be able to share in his properties but if u pple don't wed @ d court,no property for u..Since u said ur family is richer dan his,u can go on wit d wedding if u dnt want any of his properties...So shine ya eyes

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  26. but this story long o

    amazing stuff on my style blog www.soladunn.blogspot.com

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  27. pls run VERY FAST....and let me ask you this, how old are you? this one you said u aren't experienced. Na wah...pls run. He's already told you that he won't be faithful to you

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  28. I noticed that most men these days don't understand the usefulness of a court marriage. Most of them think that its a way of tying them up forever without realizing that marriage in whatever shape or form should be a lifetime commitment. No offence but some Muslims think nikai supersedes the registry which is just wrong. Let him see the legal side of things otherwise it not a marriage. I believe customary marriages are not binding so if u end up doing stuff together as a married couple it's definitely going to be useless on the long run. If he doesn't bulk then he's not for u. It means he has wandering eyes and plans to slip up

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  29. pls run 4 ur dear life,it's vry risky. 4 hm 2 hav told u dat evn b4 gettin marrid-u shd b hapi u dint diskova aftawods-wot wud u hav done. He wll defntly cheat on u. U'll fnd beta men dat wll luv n respect u lyk dey do demselvs.
    Shallom!
    Tobbie!

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  30. Omg! Ure so in a wrong relationship...

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  31. Pls γ̲̣̣̥ou guys should reach a compromise now so γ̲̣̣̥ou don't encounter problems in the future...... Pls check out hot entertainment gist HERE

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  32. This is getting exhausting! Ladun, maybe you should get a column in Sunday Vanguard or Punch like Dear Rebecca where you have equally tiring stories like: Mr Stingy is proposing marriage, I'm in love with my sister's daughter's cousin's friend, etc. RME!!

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  33. I guess he already has a child that's y he is saying that,u better find out now b4 its too late.

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  34. He is not serious.. what does he mean by 'he is human' are the others who do it aliens? Abeg.. better read the writing on the wall.. I'm pretty sure he already has kids somewhere else and trying to share YOUR property with them.. give yourself brain and do the right thing o..

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  35. U sud hv ur court wedding,and wat dos he mean by hvin anoda child,that means he is even planing on cheating on u......

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  36. U have to put a stop to it or else ur future nd dat of ur unborn child is at stake, u can also disscus it ur family nd his.

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  37. He obviously doesn't care about ur feelings,thank God he came out straight 2 tell u what he ll do. How re u sure that another girl isn't carrying his child yet? My dear marriage is a huge thing o its not like a relationship where u can jst walk out. The only advise I have 4 u is "USE UR HEAD" bukie

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  38. Ladun pls post my comment oooo

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  39. He obviously doesn't care about ur feelings,thank God he came out straight 2 tell u what he ll do. How re u sure that another girl isn't carrying his child yet? My dear marriage is a huge thing o its not like a relationship where u can jst walk out. The only advise I have 4 u is "USE UR HEAD" bukie

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  40. He doesn't want a court wedding because he's planning for the eventuality that he might impregnate someone else. He's actually PLANNING for it. There's your answer.

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  41. Wow, why is he thinking of having a child outside wedlock when u are not even married yet. It then means that he is planning to cheat on u!

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  42. Use your tongue to count your teeth girlllll RUN.Mr anonymous three dots not two is called an ellipsis (...)

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  43. 1. The only marriage recognized world wide is a court marraige. Any other marriage is considered just as a blessing. Which means even having been blessed, you will not be seen as his wife should anything arise.

    2. The religious leaders also recognize the fact that it is considered a blessing so they only marry you after you present them with your court certificate. Am surprise this has not come up with you yet, better make enquires.

    3. Don't forget that there are so many religions out there, the only thing that has a common ground is the law and that is when your court certificate is what will be often asked from you, that one can never be altered so it is the only classified one.
    4. If your fiancé has been married before in court, it will flag up and except he is divorced it becomes a

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  44. this is a very unfortunate situation... And it is @ dis very point(crossroads) dat a lady/guy must decide where his/her future will head(either into bliss or doom).. Little, unncessary things like dis have ruined so many families.
    So here is my bitter-truth advice - pick up ur slippers, dust em and run like there is no 2mao... My opinion

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  45. my dear, the only reason I can think of now is that he has been married before or even still married. Court/registry wedding is the only acceptable proof anywhere in the world. so if I were u, I will insist on court marriage by involving both family. his reason holds no water!

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  46. It becomes a crime I meant to say.
    You need to do a lot of research concerning this man you want to commit yourself to because technically you wouldn't be married. It might mean nothing to you in nigeria of which am not even sure what kind of religious house allows this but when you go abroad my dear, that is when you will know the implication of what you are about to do. You will just see that all you did that day is gathere people to come and eat rice.

    Find out if this man has been married before because if he has, it means he cannot unless he has divorced. Otherwise it will flag up as bigamy and he will be a criminal.

    By the way what are your parents saying about this? I'll be in awe if they agree to this. I trust my father, the way he will chase the man ehn, the man leg no go reach ground.

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  47. Are you a goat or just deaf and dumb and crippled?why do you always do this rubbish instead of commenting on a post?

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  48. Y in D̶̲̥̅̊ name ☀̤̣̈̇f God wil you continue? Datz I̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊ to show dat if not now, sometin like dat will come up... If datz D̶̲̥̅̊ reason fơ̴̴̴̴͡я̲̅ not wanting a court marriage his so pointless...

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  49. Maybe this is a joke....if it isn't then you're a joker. He clearly doesn't care that much about you. Speak to your parents and his and see if you can resolve it. If not keep it moving. By the way why would be even think about getting someone else pregnant?! That says alot.

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  50. My iPad is misbehaving....


    Like I was saying, do you really have to marry this man? The man is not interested in making you his wife. A man that is telling you point blank that he is likely to have another family in the nearest future. Like me say this lightly; you will be mad to want to make him your husband. MAD!

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  51. my dear, as a lawyer, I'd advise you to run very far from such a man. He has no good intentions for u.

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  52. He doesn't love u

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  53. My dear the truth is if a man really loves you, he will never tell you about getting another woman pregnant at this stage.... What? He would not even be thinking of that! Pls run as fast as you can he is not for you.... Wait oh? How are you sure a girl is not yet pregnant??? Men are like domestic staffs, evils you can't do without... Sorry guys not an insult but the truth and am a wife married for 7years....

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    1. Don't be sorry o. Its true. Before you fear satan, fear a man whose woman gave him her heart for safe-keeping.

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  54. Yawns. LL running out of proper stories.

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  55. Hmmmm. Dah ya guy is a goat. He dzn luv u das all. Coz if he doz, he wnt hv d gutts 2 giv u such reason. He wd hv @least giv a flimsy xcuz ull acept evn though u knw z not tru. But givn u dah reason is teln u b4 hand dat he intends hvn extra-marital affair afta ya wedn. D ball is nw in ya courtooo, use ya tongue 2 count ya teeth. Shikena

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  56. That ur fiance has bad intentions

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  57. The court wedding is the legal and most important part of the marriage. I think your bobo might be legally married to someone else and doesnt want to commit bigamy. Babe, u better shine your eyes well, his excuse is beyond ridiculous. Who says such a thing to his wife to be? Is that what he should be thinking about?

    I smell a fish dear and I'm sure u do too, if not you won't be here. I'm in d middle of a divorce now, save yourself some heartache and investigate this dude thoroughly. Better a broken engagement than a broken marriage.

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  58. The Guy probably has plan to get another wife so both of you having a court wedding might hamper that plan so that is the reason he is refusing to have court wedding. if you are ready to accommodate another lady in ur home then go ahead but if you are not then you wat to do .

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  59. "Will my agreeing not to have a court wedding put my future at stake as it seems I won't be a priority even as his wife?"

    The above lies your answer. My dear, I'm fearful on your behalf. I'm so sorry to say this but this marriage is a disaster waiting to happen.

    Please let your family know about this oh cos if you don't, you'll end up blaming yourself for not telling them when you had the chance.

    In this day and age, proof of marriage is the certificate you get from the registry. If you marry him, how do you prove in the law court that you're the LEGAL WIFE?

    In embassies and foreign organisations, you have to present your registry certificate as marriage proof. Ask anyone who has embassy dealings. Also some churches won't wed until you present your registry certificate.

    The guy no love you; I feel he's marrying you just to please family and society and still do as he pleases. Such a man will tell you to your face that you should be grateful he married you.

    He's got something up his sleeves. I feel he has someone else he loves dearly but you are his family's choice.

    Also, he's INDIRECTLY telling you he will cheat when he both are married. He sees you as baby making machines and someone to handle the home front while he does whatever he want outside.

    Again, why won't you tell your family that the man you intend marrying doesn't want a civil wedding? Please forget the resources already invested into the wedding preparation. Does "a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage ring a bell to you"?

    My dear, that a RED FLAG; flee flee! Right now, your mind isn't at peace hence this mail. If you go ahead to marry him, I wish you all the goodlucks in this world.

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  60. Stop dat wedding ASAP!!!!! That man sounds like a potentially abusive man.

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  61. Eehyah, pls I don't want you to make a life time mistake, cos I don't belive in divorce after marriage, so pls there's still chance for u to make things right for urself cos d guy is trying to tell u there's a huge probability he would cheat on you in ur marriage, so plssss if I were u I will rili go into prayers.

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  62. well it is a decision you have to make girl.........

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  63. That marriage you do desperately want, would later become your achilles heel. Why must u marry under such conditions? You haven't seen a husband yet, no you haven't!

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  64. Wake up woman! if he doesn't already have a secret child, i'll be amazed. However, he has already made you understand what his STANDS about infidelity is. This one will cheat on you without any iota of remorse and you'll be a very unhappy woman.

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  65. please put an end to it, how can he be shallow minded and yet have the guts to voice that kind of thought out to you. my dear, u deserve better. he should have at least thought of a more reasonable convincing reason. you two are yet to start and he is putting a child he might have outside wedlock in the future into more consideration than u. won't be surprised if there's a child some where already.

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  66. meeeeeeeeeeee04 June, 2013 09:16

    You want to go ahead and marry a man that has pretty much told you fathering a child outside wedlock is no big deal? You must really be desperate.

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  67. Don't do D wedding,why wud he ave such mentality,he will definately have a 2nd wife wen u are married,some guys will say "Godforbid if dey marry anoda woman",he is busy thinkin about ow he will impregnate a. Woman,dis ur husband to b is still seeing some1 else,or probably some1 is carryin his baby already,RUN RUN RUN for your dear Life ,and future

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  68. who is this idiot who keeps writing ...?

    Hmm, darling, you didnt mention your religion.

    If your hubby-to-be is a christian, he is most def a bastard.

    if he is a muslim, expect him to activate the '4 women' principle.

    if you are a muslim, im guessing you have been raised to expect that even if it might be difficult to accept emotionally.

    the idea here is to know what you are signing up for- your man has plans to have sex with other women. not just casually o. He actually intends to be serious with them. If he is not doing such yet, its because he is not financially able to.not just yet.

    so you still have to make your choice darling- can you live with it? other women. other children, polygamy and co- cos thats how its going to be.

    if you are a christian planning to marry a christian, its time to walk away.

    if you are a muslim, planning to marry a muslim, there is no guarantee that another guy wont do the same to you (even if he goes to court and promises not to marry another wife).

    so there, the choice is yours.

    all the best. may your future be happy and free of heartache.

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  69. What type of man already plans to cheat on you even before he marries you? He has the mind to tell u now that he will surely cheat on you to the extent of having another child, not protecting himself. My opinion he is not worth it, COurt or call it off. If he wants to cheat and have another child then he shuld give the child his or her inheritance before he dies. Men are wicked, how can you start tinking of that even before you get marry? he rly does not love you.

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  70. My dear, you have not met the bone of your bone. You both are not married & he is thinking of impregnating someone else already. Wooooooow! I think you both should sit down & talk about it, give reasons why you want it, if he refuses, bring in the parents. My dear, you can save yourself from future heartbreak & regret. Your happiness now & the future lies in your hands.

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  71. Hnmmn!Tough one thou,Well if I were in ur Shoes, I will go ahead with the wedding bcos Court weddn or no court weddn does not guarantee a happy marriage. Buh d issue of him sayin if he has a child outsyd wedluck blah blah, Is he planning on doin dat? Mk him use his brain oo

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  72. Run girl, Run!

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  73. This one na set up- you better run. see what he is saying already?! he is going to abuse you emotionally at the very least.

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  74. Ds is quite serious. Y wld a guy about to wed think of impregnating another woman n even thinkin of property? To me,its either he has a child smwhr n hasn't said it yet or he is promiscuous. My dear,be ready to hv a step kid.

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  75. Ds is quite serious. Y wld a guy about to wed think of impregnating another woman n even thinkin of property? To me,its either he has a child smwhr n hasn't said it yet or he is promiscuous. My dear,be ready to hv a step kid.

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  76. My dear dnt be deceived, he might have done a court wedding with someone b4 now and he's afraid of going to jail if marries u in court cos if he does, then he has committed bigamy. U need to think abt it well b4 u say 'I do' or 'I do not'. #myopinion#

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  77. Pls u need to be careful when making decision about marraige,marraige is not sumtin u get into without thinkin because its a big decision in ur life.someone who is already tinkin of impregnating some1else before ur wedding.and excuse me,in my own opinion I don't tink he loves u.u need to do a court wedding,do not make dat mistake and keep ur certificate for future reference.but if u are having second tot and u tink there is sometin fishy about that guy,my dear its not too late to call of the wedding,trust me there are better guys out there.

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  78. Tell him to write a will,dat way he can include any child or any body at all he wants,but he MUST have a court wedding with you.

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  79. Put a stop to it fast fast

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  80. U r d best architect of ursef tink n follow ur heart

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  81. Well,my own opinion is dat he is not ready 2 b faithful 2 u nd not willing 2 try sef.can't tell u 2 put a stop 2 d wedding thou,u just in a very complicated situation..sorry.God help u sha

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  82. Just leave it alone. Women need to start making demands. Its not a crime to be alone if a man cannot honor you properly as a wife. He may have been married prior. Bring the issue to the parents attention. If you arent "legally" married, you are not married.

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  83. Wo babe, put a hold on those plans until he does a court wedding o. This is more than a baby out of wedlock, its also to protect you and your children financially if he dies. His family will kick you out with nothing to your name. Abeg, do court wedding or leave him o. This one na big thing sef

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  84. Hmmm.dis guy feels lyk he's doing you a favour by marrying hence d talk of impregnating somone..I'm sory,dis guy doesn't love u.and he will definately cheat or he's even cheating and don't intend stopping it..pls be careful dear.I can't tell u to cancel d weddin as its evry womans dream to be married.u can postpone it and try to study him more.best of luck

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  85. Please do not marry him, I would highly advice, if a man cannot do a simple thing as a court wedding, and makes a statement about property, it can only get worse. Pls that is the best advice I can give you.

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  86. Please tell ur parents, before u make a biig mistake.. I tink they shd knw wat's goin on n have a say in it

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  87. he has opened up tew u already.. 'he's human and if he impregnates someone else, that means the child won't have a right to his property.... u see... how can a man who ur sure hiz honest utter such word? mehn...!*smh*

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  88. That's really wierd of the guy. Clearly, their is something he aint saying. Tying his reason for no-court wedding is because of a possibility of having child out of wedlock!!!!!! and worse because of property agh!agh! Something is not right, look before you leap - I can smell lack of commitment. What we are not sure of now is whether he already has a child or he intends to have with someone else in the nearest future, BECAREFUL.

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  89. Ode. Without a court wedding, you are not married. You just had a party and invited people to come and eat rice. After your guests leave, you will still be boyfriend and girlfriend, not husband and wife.
    How can you fiance basically tell you he is going to engage in extra marital affairs and you are still considering him?

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  90. na wa o.....r dis gals teenagers? he told u he might impregnate someone else.....he's saying he will sooner or later.....that's ur cue to leave him.....property kor property ni....

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  91. Please i will advice you not to go ahead except he is ready to have a court wedding, because his response shows he doesn't love you, he's probably after what he will get from you and your family. Don't be surprise there is another woman somewhere.

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  92. u better insist on court wedding to secure your future incase of any unforseen circumstances.

    Check out this blog for latest news

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  93. let him go, if he does not want a court wedding and his reason like u stated, den he doesn't love u a bit. let go of d fool.................even churches advice court weddings. its so painful dat the right girls meet d wrong guys

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  94. Girl, rethink your decision very well. We who are in marriage know that even the guys that go in with best intentions still cheat at some point let alone that is already looking for loopholes to have children outside wedlock before wedding. This is supposed the best time of your relationship, the lovey-dovey part. if you are having doubts at this stage, i would suggest you take a break from wedding planning and think about your future. Discuss this with your mum.

    This guy way no dey straight.

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  95. Its time to move on. Dont deceive urself into marrying for the wrong reasons. He should be man enough to wed u in crt. Playboy for life

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  96. I think its advisable to hold on for now. For him to even consider having a child outside, I can assure u that u r never rili gonna enjoy ur marriage

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  97. babe! run as fast u can. You're nt married yet n he's already contemplating on impregnating sm1. He's nt just into u.

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  98. If he doesn't want d court marriage bcos of dis stupid reason stop d wedding b4 is too late

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  99. Babes, i broke up with my boyfrnd recently. He said the same to me, he is a coward n an unfaithful fellow. I cant tell you to call it quit because preparations have started,mine was good cos we were merely dating.May God order your steps

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  100. For one, His excuse for not wanting the court wedding is so pathetic and disgusting. But i want to believe that in your heart of heart you know the right thing to do.
    Remember though that marriage was designed by God to be a 'till death do part" affair, but it seems ur husband to be has already mounted some imaginary obstacles on the way, so count ur cost veeery well. Whatever advise u get here is only a reader's opinion, u will be the one to live with ur final decision. A broken engagement is still way better than a potential wreck of a marriage.

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  101. He obviously has a child outside or plans too.
    Why wld u want to be wit a man who isn't trustworthy.
    These days pple don't ve d fear of God again.
    I can't believe he told u that, I feel soo bad for u.
    Pls I beg u talk to u mum bout it.
    She is older and wiser.

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  102. Hmmm. Truth be told. Men don't want to be caged again. As much as they want to get married because of traditional and family pressure, i bet so many men just want baby mamas and not wife. In this case, you need to be sure of what you are entering. Sit him down and let him tell you bluntly, what he sees of the marriage. If he cheats on you in the marriage, don't complain cos he has given you a reason why he doesn't want a court wedding. To conclude, talk to God about it, if he's not the type that goes to church, encourage him to. I wish you the best in this new journey. I pray you won't regre any step you chose to take at the end of the day. Cheers

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  103. My sister, be very careful o. I suggest u keep wedding preparations on hold until u sort this issue out. Are you sure he doesn't have a child somewhere or married before. Most churches. (Apart frm catholic, Anglican) wedding certificate are not valid so where does that leave you. Insist on court wedding or ditch him altogether. I don't think he has plans on being faithful cos he is already making plans for unfaithfulness. Don't be desperate for marriage and don't let anyone deceive you that there are no good men. Don't manage any man. Wish u all the best.

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  104. Cancel the wedding b. He is not serious
    www.ameriestyle.com

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  105. A court marriage is the only one recognised by law. If he doesn't want one,, something fishy is going on. Trust your instincts, girlfriend.

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  106. Run for you life!
    He is already telling you he would cheat on you and probably get another girl pregnant
    He doesn't love you he just wants you cause you from a rich family
    If you marry him now you would end up being in depression when his real colours shows
    Run!!!!! No man in love with a girl would deny her something as simple as a court wedding
    Goodbye luv

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  107. a broke courtship is better than a broken marriage bcz i dnt knw aw a man who claims to love you wld be giving consideartion to the mistake he wld make in the future!
    this is jez a sign to show you that this guy will cheat on you in the futurethat i sif he hasnt started doing so already, what if he alrdy even hz a child that he hasnt let you in on it yet? you had better run nw while u ve the chance, i agree evrybody wld be disappointed but u wont be marrying them nd if ur home isnt happy they wont live with you, u ve to consider your happiness first...
    but if u want, u can tell your parents to calm first nd then make effective and efficient research on this guy, ' what guy thinks of committing adultery in the future'
    Be warned cz a word is enough fr the wise!

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  108. Court wedding has a binding that is legal and recognised. Church wedding is even less than a traditional wedding.Some churches that are registered with the goverment also does the court wedding for u even without going to the court. But also get to kn his reasons apart from having children out of wedding. He is a polygamous minded person.did u say if u were muslims or christains?

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    1. Dumb,dumb,isn't it clear enough that they are christains,

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  109. Very funny and weird answer from him, meaning he is already seeing himself cheating on you in the future. If your head is giving you warning signs, it's best to listen to it and slow down until when you are sure and also pray.

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  110. @anon 5:01 u can aswell nt post any comment at all!!! Dis is a sensitive issue to somebody n u are here miss typing...sometimes its better to keep quiet u know?...

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  111. My Darlyn, take a walk. There's a lot ahead that will be more traumatising than thus argument of court wedding so back out boo.

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  112. He is being very truthful to you that he will cheat on you in the future. Please listen to him and put a hold on all preparations and Pray to find out if he is really and truly yours or you are just rushing things. A broken engagement better than a broken marriage.

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  113. He ALREADY has the child he is talking about. He has not married you, yet he is talking about the possibility of impregnating someone else - so why marry at all?! Men are confusing creatures I swear! Marry first now, and see him come after whatever your family gives you. Postpone the wedding or hurriedly do some investigation, this is Naija, you will find that information in no time at all. Good luck.

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  114. Run for ur life dear he is not worth it.

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  115. my dear run 4 ur life. this man is evil , its either he is planning on cheating on u or he already has someone pregnant 4 him or he has a child already. someone who deserves u will come ur way, so end it now or u will spend d rest of ur marital life in agony.

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  116. .....Don't agree.....he is not Mr Rigth!

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  117. Tell him u want to leave him and tell ur parents to halt the wedding preparations for now,at first he'll call your bluff but dont relent even if the wedding date is near,sometimes u need to shock a man to reality.because if you dont rhat marriage will be living hell believe me its those guys that are not that wealthy that are the proudedst Nd most arrogant.or else that marriage will be hell on earth for you.

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  118. Tell him u want to leave him and tell ur parents to halt the wedding preparations for now,at first he'll call your bluff but dont relent even if the wedding date is near,sometimes u need to shock a man to reality.because if you dont rhat marriage will be living hell believe me its those guys that are not that wealthy that are the proudedst Nd most arrogant.or else that marriage will be hell on earth for you.

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  119. You even have to ask? Buhahahahaha gurl take your shoes off and run. Let your heels be hitting the back of your head as you run. You haven't gotten married and he's already planning to have kids outside? Matter of fact, I'm sure he already has some. Or he's already married. Whatever the case, GURL RUN!

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  120. If u didn't make this story up den run as fast as u can.A broken engagement is far better than a broken marriage it might hurt now but pay off later.

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  121. Switch d simple truth is dt ur fiancee doesn't luv u wot a stupid reason my God! God is already revealin 2u d kind of man u wnt to marri. dear A thousand broken engagmnt is beter dan 1 broken marriage.seek d face of God nd tolk 2ur pastor abt it.wish u luck

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  122. I'm baffled that what shocks you about his reason for not wanting a court wedding is that your parents are richer than him and not the main issue here which is the likelihood of him impregnating someone else after marriage. It seems you both have your priorities screwed up.

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  123. he already has a child somewhere

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  124. Well the handwriting is on the wall You decide whether to read or close your eyes.He has nt married you yet and he is already thinking about impregnating som1 and having a child.Hmmmm are you sure he doesn't have the child yet?Tell your mum,they always know what to do.I am married,my 1st child is 7yrs and just last week som1 brought a 24yrs daughter for my husband.The daughter looks like my husband opened his mouth and spit her out so he couldn't even denythe child.He wasin secondary school. And told d girl to abort then they lost contact.No Gsm then.Now husband is popular and can be traced.The daughter is getting married in December and wants my husband(her father) to be there.What do u say to dat?I am weak.So my child is actually a 2nd child now.U get?and I have a step daughter.Men!Smh

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  125. Dear poster, I dont think you need to be told to take a leave, if you decide to stay, have it in mind that your husband already has it in mind to take a second wife or he already has a son somewhere which you are unaware of, the man is just being a cheat cheap strategist.

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  126. He is already thinking of infidelity, being unfaithfully when you are still planning a wedding, maybe he is not the one for you, marriage is about forsaking all others, we are all humans yes, he is entering the marriage with an intent to make a mistake. Not a good one.

    Chistorm

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  127. please dont marry that guy. If he can boldly tell you that, it means he has made up his mind that you are not going to be the only woman in his life. It also means that he has a tendency to cheat on you with out wearing a CONDOM! HIV , STD oo! Please if you are still young leave him. there is also a possibility he has a child outside wed lock which you don't know. Consider this possibilities before marrying him.

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    1. Court wedding does not mean he cannot have other women in his life. You folks fret over nothing, it is not the court ceremony that determine the success or otherwise of the marriage.

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  128. Run as fast as your legs can carry you. My sis, you never see husband o. He don dey show you sample now before the wedding so wetin go happen when the wedding happen finish? It's obvious this guy does not love you and he is a self centred person. RUN BEFORE OTHER FORMS OF ABUSE WILL START. For it is better to have your courtship broken than to go through abuse in a marriage and end up getting a divorce. The hand writing is not only on the wall for you, e dey all bill boards around. RUN AND AGAIN I SAY RUN!

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  129. I hav a similiar issue wit my man.He is a lawyer,n wen i raised the issue of court marriage,he said that as far as we will do church marriage that we wont do court wedding because both are the same.According to him,he said that church wedding certificate is from the court hence no need for court wedding.Pleasw,i want to know if he is right or only deceiving me.

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    1. the truth is, you cannot do a church wedding without a court wedding! he is another disaster waiting to happen! The way women are taking all these crap from men nowadays is beyond me!are you girls that desperate to be called mrs?
      The fool i was dating told me to get pregnant first before marriage! i told him to go and impregnate his mother! omo ale! giving me condition before he marries me? really?

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    2. If it is the Catholic or Anglican church you wed in, then he is right. Any other church, he is very wrong!!!

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    3. Dear Chayilnex, if it is a Catholic or Anglican Church, you would not need a separate court wedding. The Church and Court procedure is fused. If it is Cocin or Ecwa, or any other Church for that matter, MAKE SURE YOU GO TO COURT AND MARRY IN A REGISTRY!!

      However, this your fiancé is a lawyer abi? Dont you people gist? Why cant he explain the procedure to you? Ask him and see what he says, then try and verify from others if that is actually the way to go about it. All the best!

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  130. he is a complete bastard, he dsnt love U̶̲̥̅̊‎​ if he does then he will think abt U̶̲̥̅̊Я feelings.marriage is F̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥r̶̲̥̅̊ life if he is nt prepared 2 commit hmslf to one woman then let him go to hell A man who speaks like dis wl end up breaking U̶̲̥̅̊Я heart into pieces in no time.i dnt think i can 4gv my husbnd ih he cheats on me talkless of impregnating,it is beta F̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥r̶̲̥̅̊ U̶̲̥̅̊‎​ to put a stop to dis absurd weddin Α̲̅πϑ move on wit U̶̲̥̅̊Я life, a beta man will find U̶̲̥̅̊‎​ once U̶̲̥̅̊‎​ ve. a gud heart. Pls! Dnt gamble wit U̶̲̥̅̊Я future U̶̲̥̅̊‎​ deserve to be happy in U̶̲̥̅̊Я marriage U̶̲̥̅̊‎​ cnt marry a man who will nt give U̶̲̥̅̊‎​ peace of mind cos he believes he can cheat on U̶̲̥̅̊‎​ anytime bcos he is human RUBBISH! He wl end up hurtin U̶̲̥̅̊‎​ Α̲̅πϑ U̶̲̥̅̊‎​ knw what! U̶̲̥̅̊Я children wil suffer more so be wise! My dear

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  131. @ Chayilnex na deceive e wan deceive u so... Okay u know what tell him u don't want church wedding anymore that u would prefer the registry wedding and see what he says!!!

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  132. Babe, i think you should feel seriously insulted now... what the hell does he mean by saying his child wont be entitled to his property? this goes to show u that he has skeletons in his cupboard or he doesnt plan to be monogamous... i seriously suspect that the guy has a child somewhere and it is after the wedding that he might stylishly inform u about the child. Please do not even insult your parents by dragging them into this issue; do u want to beg him to legally marry you? i make bold to say that you should walk away from that relationship.

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  133. He has obviously told you he intends to cheat.

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  134. Ps: nobody changes. Don't think you will change him after marriage. Pack your bags and run. And if u talk to him now, if he cares enough he'll prolly tell you all you want to hear but it's all lies dear, run.

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  135. I am a lawyer.and law states dt u hv to we'd in a recognized place of worship.for e.g I got married in a catholic church and before d church weddin proper,u hv to go to d local govt registry and get d court certificate ,den if u wish to an overly court marriage there,u r free,bt once u sign d certificate at d registry,den d certificate is given to d priest ,den on d day of d church wedding,u will be given a church marriage certificate, So @ chayilnex he didn't deceive u .except d church u guys got married in ,is not a recognized place of worship by law. E.g of recognised place of worship are,catholic ,Anglican,some Pentecostal churches,though nt all Pentecostal churches.hope u r clear

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  136. Run for your life. Sometimes, I wonder why people still pause when God has given revelations already glaring on your face. Leave this manooo or you will regret the rest of your life.

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  137. please don't go ahead with the wedding....

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  138. His already making places for another woman unborn children... you must insist on the court wedding.. but don't cancel a wedding over that

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  139. wow! wanna get rid of that pimple fast? then u need to check this out asap http://homeandskincandeez.blogspot.com/2013/06/home-remedies-for-getting-rid-of.html

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  140. Ok darling, this my legal opinion regarding your situation
    1. If you choose to go ahead with a traditional and church marriage (without court), note that as your fiancé has already told you, he will show you shege! Usually, when men show their wives shege, the woman is unable to maximise her full vocational potential. So even if your family is richer than his, you as a person may be unable to work and make the kind of money you would otherwise have been able to make.
    Secondly, in case kasala bursts in a non- court marriage, which is referred to as customary marriage, you will not have recourse to the protection guaranteed by the marriage Act (Nigeria's law on marriage). As such, you will be subject to the customs of his people, and the only limits which the customary court will be able to enforce, are that you should not be subjected to customs that are repugnant to natural justice, equity and good conscience. But if shege becomes shegefull, my dear, it is very very doubtful that you will have the energy, strength, or spirit to maintain a case against him in a customary court.

    2. Considering all that I have said above, I will advise that you insist on marriage in court in addition to the traditional and Church/ Mosque celebrations. If you do, make sure you keep a separate bank account,and write a will. He should also write a will and include all the children he intends to have with other women. This way, he can be sure that even before he starts his adulterous ways, his outside children will be catered for. And you can be sure that whatever monies you make as an individual, your own children will be catered for. (This is a terrible way to start a home though, and it will be a very faulty marriage life.)

    3. Now, considering number 1 and 2, and considering that Mr. Fiancé has already informed you that he will be dishing you shege in unspecified doses, you may want to come to your senses already and end this weird relationship. #Stop the train before it actually gets wrecked!
    Goodluck!

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  141. maybe he has another child somewhere. But for a mn to outrightly tell you that he is going to cheat on you, is a very big insult and act of disrespect. he can do it but he should never let you know that he is a cheat.

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  142. Ignore the wedding plan and find a good man as it is very obvious that he is still a randy boy not yet set for adulthood matrimonial life.

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  143. Ignore the wedding plan and find a good man as it is very obvious that he is still a randy boy not yet set for adulthood matrimonial life.

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  144. waitooo. But church is not supposed to wed people without registry first. pls a lawyer help me confirm.

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  145. Pls ensure u get married at the registry first for that's the only recognized marriage by law and when u Do, pls hold on tightly to your marriage certificate. All the best as u decide.

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  146. Pls. don't marry him because maybe he have a child somewhere and that is the reason why he don't want court marriage. Stop the marriage planning preparations until he agree to do the court first and u hold ur court marriage certificate for hand before any order thing.

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