Monday, June 10, 2013

Readers Mail...

My name is Temi. I have a huge issue. I have been married for two years now. I dated my husband for 6years.

Now this should be a warning to folks out there planning on getting married...don't ignore the warning signs. Walk away from any relationship that brings u more pain than joy. It's not worth it.
I made that mistake and I am paying the price.

I ignored it all,stayed n went on to marry him....not hoping he would change but deceiving myself that I would cope (foolishness). Today I am dealing with infidelity,emotional abuse, extreme control, bitterness and a confused life.


What is my issue today.? He keeps threatening to leave with our kid. In the past one month he has said it countless times. Sometimes jokingly and sometimes in the heat of our quarrels. It has made me think a lot and its extremely disturbing. He makes statements like you would go out and come back to an empty house. Threatens to throw me out. This is actually a new development...I know there is way more to it but I am just so tired.

I am just so sad and Shame would never allow me discuss this with my family or friends because they all warned me not marry him but I was so in foolishness. I wrote this mail to alert ladies. Please do not ignore the warning signs.



108 comments:

  1. Some of us know this and still stupidly fall in love.

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    1. More like still go into the marriage.

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    2. My bf of 2 yrs jst left me in d most selfish way
      Tlking shit bout us not being compartible
      It hurts so much cos I woulda rili outdone my self 2 try 2 make tins right
      Ur story here is a big encouragement 4 me
      Who knws
      May jst be a blessing in disguise 4 me
      ***JAY***

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    3. Yes oh like me..... U can't help who u love oh....

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    4. Mine dumped me today,and it hurts like hell but God knows best and i pray he heals my heart.Because he know i was honest and true to my man.

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    5. men are heartless! NIGERIAN MEN TODAY..ARE EVIL! Just read a few other comments below and had to come up here to write so EVERYONE can see it quicker! Naija men are ANIMALS, MOST OF DEM! THEY ARE CURSED! AND ITS DUE TO SLEEPIN WITH EVRYTHING IN SKIRT AND NEVA BEING FAITHFUL TO ONE WOMAN, TO SATISFY D FLESH! GOD HELP US! WICKED AND HEARTLESS LOT! MY GOD!! WAT WOMEN GO THRU!!! IF U HAVE EVER LAID A FINGER ON A WEAKER SEX(WOMAN) DEN U ARE CURSED!! WHETHER SHE SLAPD FIRST OR PUSHD FIRST!! CURSED! ALL OF THEM!DIS IS ALL JUST SAD TO READ..OMG!

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    6. @anon 20:26..It is really sad! happend to My good friend! Her man beat her up and den later came to beg for forgiveness... She saw text msgs from other women and got upset with him, he denied it over and over and she slapped him. Him beat her Blue and Red. Today she is still tryin to go bak bcoz she "loves him". Im tired of the whole thing myself! wev all talkd and stopd her..but she cant and doesnt want to listen! men are Selfish.

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    7. Story.. the men are heartless and the women are cheaters so if you ask me 9ja men and women deserve each other

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    8. @anonymous 20:26. i think dey are cursed too. when a man sleeps around d way guys today sleep around, he never respects a woman as much as he shud bcos WE women actuualy let dem use and dump or give free sex in d name of "we are friends". Or more stupid stuff like "it just happend". Oh how i hate that one! It cud also be that, he grew up seeing his Dad hit his mum and she Remained. It is just sad! God have mercy on Naija guys today.

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    9. Ladies its easy..Very easy! If a man, ur boyfrend, ur husband Hits u. Just involve ur Big brothers, Uncles, Male friends and all d men in ur life. He will get served the best way! Just live it to boyz. It dont matter his age.30 oh, 28, 25, 40, even 50 and up Just Involve every male u know. He gon get served and LEARN NEVER to hit a woman the BEST WAY! I promise u that.

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  2. God bless you Temi, i am presently seeing the signs too in my relationship and ive decided to end it before i hate my life. i pray God would help you dear.

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  3. I guess what you should do even though you aren't asking for advice is to take it to God in prayers for there is nothing he cannot do. You already made the mistake of ignoring his issues before marrying him but do not let it be said that you had the opportunity of fixing it and let it slip past you.

    As for ladies intending to get into marriage, best advice is to fast and pray that God gives or shows you the right person for you, The bible says that his gifts adds NO sorrow with it, so you can be rest assured you will have no complaints. Also be patient while waiting on God because at that waiting period, the devil will present a lot of people to you making you believe they are the real deal.

    All will be well if we all cast our cares on God.

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  4. I keep telling ladies that want to hear that u cannot change a man except if he changes himself, a man that his mother did not change nothing on earth will make u change him except by the grace of God, ladies wake up nd do not call foolishness love.

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    Replies
    1. GBAM!!! U SAID EVERYTHING RIGHT!

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  5. i made the same mistake and now am out and he just like you he was threatening to take my kids and give to his mum while they were just about 3 months old, today the kids are with him and his new wife and am out of the country... sad but my life story... so ladies don't take this lightly and don't sleep, cry and make up then jump to marriage.

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  6. @ANON 14:39 YOU HAVE TO KNOW THERE IS A DIFFERENCE B/W LOVE AND FEAR OF STARTING AFRESH/BEING ALONE. SHE MARRIED HIM FOR THE LATTER, NOT LOVE

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  7. Who no know, he go know

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  8. Babe, just take a few minutes, pack your bag and a small one for the baby and run away to a relative's house that he does not know the location. From there you can start praying for God's intervention and I suggest you speak to your family ASAP, as in IMMEDIATELY!!! He has someone else, that is not the bad part, the bad part is that he is planning to take your child away from you and this child will be raised by a stranger. Men are heartless nowadays, stop using sentiments in dealing with them. Be a wise woman o. If the marriage will succeed then let him be the one to make you fall in love with him again. Abeg don't listen to all these oversabi naija people, God will hear your prayers in the safety of your aunt or sister's house. And don't be surprised that his mother is behind him. That is why he is making plans to take the child. Men only do that when their moms have given them support and vowed to take care of the children

    And as for you women that like to destroy other people's homes. Remember that God can and will still hear the wife's prayer. When your turn comes, God will turn his back on you as you have turned the man's heart against his wife. There will be no mercy for you. All of una, continue o

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    1. Yes o amen! Ahah! A married man comes to u can't u say no? Shu?

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  9. But your story did not follow na....what and what happen to you? We don't know where to start with your matter.

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  10. Start saving some money. Get out now. Because 10 years down the lane you'd wish you had.

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  11. ladun i am tired of all these sob stories giving young girls the impression that there are no good guys out there...lets here something positive from you soon ....muah

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    1. Good guys??? A non Nigerian that wakes up at 3am from his own sleep to get me WATER!!!!!!!! Lollls. but he has also shown me all his guns and how he go kill me obtain lawyer sharply. I tell an say: na meeh Han yhu dey dere

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  12. Sigh. I actually feel bad for you. Take your kid and leave. There's clearly no love there. I can totally relate to this. Whenever you see signs, RUN!! It won't change, it won't get better. Run!

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  13. This is so sad. I'm so sorry you are going through all this pain but listen up you need to act fast forget crying over spilt milk. It's a mistake you have already made you should think of what u need to do now. I would advise you get a lawyer see how you can protect yourself and your child, then you should write a police report about the threats your husband is making, tell ur family it's very IMPORTANT some girls don't come out alive ooooooo. God forbids he tries to kill u. Be wise

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  14. Ladies stil wudnt learn.. They wud follow d man wit all dia heart nd leave dia Brain nd Mind @ home..
    MYRAYA

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  15. Hmmm. I also dated some1 for 8yrs off nd on. So in love wit him. One day he beat me orange red that I almost died.. almost a year we got bck cold nt move on without him. Now we had a fight him sayn I was dancing wit his friend like I liked him. Awkward. Den asked for an orgy. Like seriously. I asked dat if he saw me like sm1 he wld like to marry he wnt say such to me. Den poured everything all over me. Long nd short if this sermon. He said... i will kill u cut u into pieces put u in a plastic bag nd throw u away. no1 taught me. I don talk to my brain nd leg.

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    1. Once a guy offers you a performance opportunity at an orgy session, it means you are just a playbag. He will never ever love or marry you

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    2. OMG!!! MEN ARE EVIL!! HE SAID DAT TO U?! OMG! NIGERIAN MEN..EVRY1 OF U DAT HAS LAID A HAND ON AN INNOCENT GIRL/WOMAN WILL NOT GO FREE..U R SOWING IT IN D LIVES OF UR FUTURE CHILDREN...U ARE SOWIN IT INTO UR OWN LIVES IN D NEAREST FUTURE!! AH AH!

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    3. oh wow! orgy??? cut u into pieces? Was he a human being or he is a demon?! the latter must b d answer.

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  16. Eyaa,kpele. I feel ur pain cos it happened to ma BFF,her Ex threatened her and abused her in everyway possible he almost made her blind sef,in the end he sent her and her son out of the house and changed the locks,didn't allow her take even her son's clothes and still went around town painting her black,and beating her in public til he was arrested and warned.my dear for ur own sake I hope u are working cos if not u ve just signed ur suffering warrant.get a job,and do things to make u happy when u become very busy u will ve little time for his problems.I wish u luck cos I no fit say divorce am.Single ladies pls enjoy ur freedom oh cos marriage no easy at all.it is highly overrated.

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  17. Is it not the members if the society making unmarried ladies become pushed to the edge?
    Your biological clock is ticking, ale obirin kii pe su, you will become an old maid, thw older u get the lesser ur chances if having a baby/ healthy baby. So all these things are said and girls will just jump into marriage regardless of character of the man

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    Replies
    1. Exactly. After 24 you are no longer allowed to celebrate your birthday. Apparently naming ceremony only. I refuse to go home anymore because of this. If I end up with an animal they will b e the first people to say I didn't shine my eyes etc. Abeg

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  18. The mistake has already been made but let God take kia of things 4 u, if u didn't marry some1ease if he goes with God on ur said he will surly come back, just keep praying n look 4 gud prayer patner 2 join u. God will see u through.

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  19. Find happiness else where. If possible

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  20. I won't be surprised if your family already sense there is trouble but are waiting for you to come forward and tell them. The sooner you do the better for your sanity. My sister was married to one useless guy like that and we all warned her against marrying him up until her wedding day. After that we all minded our business. She left him a year after and was revealing a lot to us. Most of which she was surprised that we already knew. Be sure of your next step before you reveal the lot to them though. Good luck.

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  21. thanks for the warning. but i think you should start praying for the salvation of your husbands soul because you are in it already. one luv

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  22. we go gree hear word? smh.thank you o jare for this warning, but some would come out here trying to defend themselves and find excuse. women no dey hear word!

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  23. sanni Emmanuel10 June, 2013 15:55

    God almighty Ϟ•̸ill take control of every storm in Ɣ☺ΰя home. I Ϟ•̸ill just say that there Íڪ nothing prayer can't change. Just be prayerful ɑ̣̣̝̇̇и̣̣̣̣̥d̶̲̥̅̊ also be careful

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  24. bite the bullet and talk to your family and friends and let them help you thru whatever decision you make.........make sure though that its a decision that puts you and your kid first...............everything else is background noise.........

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  25. you might as well bite the bullet and talk to your family and friends.they love u and want the best for u...........they wud support you and make sure ur decision puts u and ur kid first........everything else is background noise...........GOD is with you........pray hard...he will guide u

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  26. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  27. Hiiiiiissss! My dear get on your knees and pray. Have you heard that faith moves mountains and that with God all things are possible.

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  28. yes oooo please ladies lets use our heads and not our hearts alone,not coz of pressure dat our friends r starting a family please please b sure u feel sure of that dude in your brain no doubts no fears buh peace of mind

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  29. what i dont understand is your reaction to all this. you are talking about your husband but theres too sides to a coin. what have you done?are you also the violent abusive kind of woman thats never satisfied with what he offers you? or what did you do to get such treatment? am not saying what hes doing is alright but truth be told we need to hear his own side before we can begin to judge n advise.

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  30. I pray ladies learn from these and stop been foolish

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  31. One sided story , u actually didnt say "how u put him through hell".... Sorry for what u r going through but ur email doesnt show the whole picture .

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  32. My bf of 2 yrs jst left me in d most selfish way
    Tlking shit bout us not being compartible
    It hurts so much cos I woulda rili outdone my self 2 try 2 make tins right
    Ur story here is a big encouragement 4 me
    Who knws
    May jst be a blessing in disguise 4 me
    ***JAY***

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  33. Girl;ur family will forever be ur family! Dat u once ignored their advice doesn't mean they'll turn their backs on you now that u need their help! Swallow ur pride and go back to them for help. As for ur husband;don't wait for him to carry out his threat. Beat him to it! Leave with ur kid asap!

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  34. Na so e dey b o!!!!!am planning to leave my hubby too.....yinkus

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  35. Thanks 4 d advice. Its well. With you.http://StartReferralJob.com/index.php?refcode=24067

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  36. What rubbish r u talking abt,cannt even get d message of u story....what went wrong while u where dating him,n what exactly is leading to his threat to trow u out...no morals n can't even advice u,,,,cos u r talking #nonsense#

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    Replies
    1. Like are you okay?! obviously she is reserving some of the things dat hapnd to avoid a long story but the first paragraph CLEARLY stated what she is talking about. is it dat english is very difficult for u or wat?

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    2. are u mindin d ewu? mtchew!

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    3. Clara ikika you are a stupid idiot.....can't you read English? Dumb bitch get your arse of this page if it can't think sice your brain is dead.....everybody go dey come here come vomit nonsense mtchweeeew

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  37. Well stop worrying about that which you cannot change Timi and work towards helping yourself and your Kids as that's the reason i guess you are still with him to assist with the financial care for the kids, and he knows this hence his constant threat.... So work on yourself and worry less about him..i know its easier said than done, but its the best you can do for now.
    Empower yourself

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  38. Deary 4 me I don't love stupidly, I love with my whole heart but when dat man thinks he is stupid enough not to appreciate my love I walk away! But thanks 4 sharing ur story! It will be well with U!

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  39. when too many pple warn you against someone,sometimes they are right.
    Another true life story of a young lady HERE

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  40. Thank you Writer for sharing ur personal life story. This just goes to TELL ALL LADIES out there especially Good Women. A man that has HIT u before, a man that has ABUSED u emotionally and Physically,(even if u wer d one dat hit first coz women like to throw their hands to slap wen upset) a man that has NO regard for ur FAMILY, a man that does NOT RESPECT YOU, a man that CURSES at u and calls u NAMES..IS NOT WORTH KILLING URSELF FOR. He does not LOVE YOU. HE DOES NOT KNOW what the word LOVE means. ANY MAN with such trait is an ANIMAL. Most times they dont know what dey are doing as they BELIEVE dey shud b seen as MEN and think dey should always be RESPECTED, and not Take Rubbish. BULLSHIT! RUN very far away from any Man like this. THERE ARE GREAT MEN OUT THERE WAITING TO LOVE, RESPECT, AND PAMPER U! DO NOT FALL FOR SUCH STUPID LOVE. LOVE MAY BE BLIND, BUT PLIZ IT CAN SEE! Dont Live to Regret for d rest of ur Life! "HAD I KNOWN" will not be our portion in Jesus name!! AMEN!

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    Replies
    1. #GBAM! GidiGbam!! Thanks for this comment! but lmao @ "love may be blind but pliz it can see"...lmaoo!!

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    2. You just described my idiot ex Alex Iyamu.

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    3. you just described mine too..he neva belivd we wer dating anyways! a fool that used to Live in abuja b4 he movd to the states to go target anoda prey! Igbo boy. ANIMAL! U will SEE!

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    4. AMEN OH! it is really sad. U just described mine too. An animal that is SO full of Himself. Proud and very Self-centered. Annoying shit is he will not call me(neva had credit kind of excuse) but wen i call and we maybe argue he Hangs up on me like i'm some hunter looking for a man to tag along with. Done with that MudaF&*#er!

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    5. amen! it wont be my portion too in Jesus name amen.

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    6. which Alex pliz? is he in Uniben?

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  41. dats life oooo

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  42. Honey, both parties must come to term 4 relationship 2 work out. Things ar not always d way it wz reported, so check if u av fulfiled all riteousnes. Relationship is all abt giv n take

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  43. I GOT SO MANY WARNING SIGNS. omg! I Loved dis guy soo Much. My boyfriend abused me more than 3 times. He cursed at me once hez upset. wen we fight and i push or hit him (like fussing), THIS MAN actually HITS back, CHOKES ME and puts scars on me. He Disrespects me in everyway u can think about. But once dat was over, He apologized, he wud be so Loving..and i was CONFUSED. He says he "loves me" but Love knows what treating each other as we wud want to be treated should be about. Love does not get soo angry to say extremely Hurtful things to Hurt a woman's feelings. Now we all get angry, but there are JUST SOMETHINGS U DO NOT SAYTo EVEN A HUMAN BEING ONLY IF U R the DEVILS FIRST BORN.
    TEMI, did u seek Gods face b4 ignoring ur familyz concern?? u should just pray to God for him to be delivered since u married already. Its too early in ur marriage. Please pray. Mine was talking bout marriage, I almost settled...But He is an EX today. I didn't want to Regret my 2morow. No MAN SHOULD EVER RAISE his HANDS on a woman. NO Man. EVEN if she pushes u soo much, due to UR own actions sef! God will help u my sister.

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    1. The man hit you back and you are here screaming?? Woe betide anybody (man or woman) that hit me. Kai

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    2. #GBAM! thank God u opend ur eyes!..but wat is goin on with men dis days hitting a woman? Like WHY will u HIt a woman? Nigerian men wer are Our Morals?!

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    3. anon 19:40.....are u a man? U must be! well, I am One Too! wat do u mean by that? d writer obviously stated that so everyone can see that shez not hiding that she hit him. The Obvious point of that is SHE IS A WOMAN! SHE IS THE WEAKER SEX! since u don't get it! STUPID ASS BUFFOON! Illiteracy and backwardness nah Bastard I swear!! Make dem hit ur sister first, if u have, or U might as well beat up your wife! Don't u have parents or guardians that tot u NEVER to lay hands on a woman?! did u forget so fast? How old are u?!. It is WRONG. period man!

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    4. @Anon 20:06 same thing i was just asking d people around me. where did all d Morals go? i mean even my parents have fought b4, but dey are hapily still married after 27years Thank God for that.. but they neva got physical while they were DATING. Like, why are Men ABUSING women this much? Nigerian men why? what is goin on? Fear dey catch me sef.. Abi, do i marry oyinbo now? Lemme go and find oyinbo.

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    5. anon 20:56 chop knuckle abeg! Dont mind d child. Wetin Woe betide join hittin a woman? U r Cursing urself dude! Im sure he has hit a woman before or his girlfrend is his punching bag one of d two. Dem neva beat him sister b4 na him make! no worry nah! Go bak to ur Mom to teach u little boy! Some Bastard tried to get away with it on my female cousin,she tried denyin it wen we saw d scars on her. we beat Nonsense commot d guy body! WE BEAT?!! and dem no born am well to involve police. Till 2mrw he will kip apologizing..a 27 year old guy for dat matter! Grown ass man! anyways, No woman shud be hit. U have an option of walking away or leaving and comin back wen u know she'll be calm or u r calm and can now talk to eachoda.

      p.s Ladies if he hits u, Call ur Big brothers, Uncle or male frends, Involve boys. doznt matter his age. Make d fuck up get treated d right way. Fucking MonkeyZ!

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    6. lmao! anon 22:02..watt????? Give me ur contact abeg i need som1 to get beaten up big time..that is afta Anonymous 19:40 has been beaten up big time!..you hilarious mehn! lmao!!

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    7. as in Lmfaoo!!! Anon 22:02 "we beat?!" ohh Lmaooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! is d guy stil alive?..Lol!

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  44. Enough of all these reader thingy. Everytime this and that. What!!!!!!!. My marriage this my marriage that,my husband this my husband that,my wife this my wife that, she packs out and I won't beg,she slapped me and I hit her,he hit me and I moved out,he cheated so I poured acid on his mistress,he cheated so I cheated,he is broke so I moved out,she is boring so I cheated,my mum Inlaw came to pack her things so I won't go and beg her,wife poured acid on the husband and husband poured acid on the wife. UNA NO DEY TIRE? One issue to another.

    You men complaining about your wives doing this and that,then you wanna divorce or send her packing,YOU THINK SAY ANOTHER WOMAN SOMEWHERE BETER PASS YOUR WIFE? Try na make we see. Most times if you divorce and marry another woman,the idea of you leaving your wife alone for her is one way for her to judge or be careful of you,so doing she will be scouting for that thing that made you divorce your first wife and guess was that thing she must see creeping in.

    WOMEN YOU LEAVE YOUR HUSBABANDS HOPING TO MEET A PERFECT MAN? Lol you won't understand until the next man dumps you for one reason because your first one failed,that is a picture he will always have in mind at every slightest mistake you make,he will say to himself "NO WONDER THE HUSBAND NO FIT STAY WITH HER." how many men home and abroad can beat his chest to sincerely accept a single mother with say 3kids? It may not be a crime to be baby mama but can men ever truly go for single mothers? Most men that would go for single mothers go into such relationship with conditions or benefit navigating towards them from the single mother.
    Some women here receive beating/slaps from bf and husband still but come here to talk like their husbands cant hurt a fly.
    Some men receive humiliation and bullshits from their wives but won't say it out. The thing is most married people you see go through what most people who come here go through but if they don't say it you won't know,inshort all relationships involve ABUSE which could be physical,emotional,psychological,spiritual and sexual.


    For Those of you who will be quick in saying "why not pack your things when you saw the signs," I laugh because y'all think it's easy right?
    You think it's easy for a man or woman to wake up one day and say he or she wand to leave his spouse and kids? You must be sleeping if you ever think so.

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    1. Shut up your freaking mouth! If a man beats you there is no reason for you to stay with him!

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    2. I just love u boo.God bless u
      Ola baby)

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    3. Stop chatting shit you blithering idiot! No human being should put up with ANY form of abuse. You dimwitted twat!

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  45. i dont understand this ur story o.

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  46. Any Relationship both for a man and a woman that causes u More Pain than Joy; especially due to ur actions, backgrounds, pasts, character, perosnalityz clashing.. if u BOTH cant sit down and work on things together as a TEAM, please DO NOT make mistakes of saying "he/she will change". RUN baby RUN!

    Temi 6 years was a long time 4u not to have made up ur mind on what u wanted in a man. YOU CANT CHANGE A MAN. U already know that! but u can HELP and LEAD to the change. Since he didnt change, Y dint u walk away and Let God bring u someone beta? after 6 years? ah Oti ohh. You should start praying.

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  47. My dear...as he is doing the talking, u do d action.Make sure he is d one that comes back to an empty house.Life is very simple, sometimes we women make it difficult for ourselves.If he threatens, you show him action and you 'll be glad you did.Let him know that action speaks louder than words!

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  48. My love is not blind.It is wear'n LIMPOPO glasses. I'M CHIMAMA

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  49. why are men behaving like this? what u wrote now has touched me because i am in this kind of situation where the man has been telling me to leave him since and we have 3-kids.

    crying at home now..........

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    1. so sorry to hear dat. U shud pray. Please commit it to God. wipe ur tears. God has not left u. He will bring ur husband bak..and will make u two more united. Pray for mercy and for God 2bring ur mans heart back to God. A man who LOVES God and is After Gods heart cant get it wrong in a marriage.

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  50. Thank you for the warning dear.

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  51. I did too and still paying the price. I even asked him to please leave usin peace but he says he will rather kill me first...very controlling and mean. Single girls, I beg you in the name of God, take note of the warning signs...

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  52. My dear he is just using your child to control you.......abusers always do that ...he has sensed that you are now waking u so he is using your child to hold you.....how old is your child?...you can talk to him/her to co operate with you....please if you cant bear it anymore go to court and sort the case or leave...its only going to get worse ...im sure you child would value a strong woman as a mother over one who would cry day and night

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  53. my dear the only thing you have is your child and your family so open up to them fast. it doesn't matter what they would say, what if he kills you. live for your child, tell your family because you need their support now and guidance. Act fast and show him yo still have your families support and you can do better with or without him. trust me he would wake up if not you know his not meant for you. it happened to me but now i thank God am above him and all the nonsense

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  54. sorry sister but I believe it would have been helpful if you advise what happened during the relationship instead of just what is happening in the marriage now.

    wishing the all the best.

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  55. AS lot of women here are silly
    It is rue that no man should hit a woman.
    Matter of fact no Adut should strike aout at the next human being
    However for you to provoke someone to the extent that you hit them ans say no man should hit you,
    thats stupididty taking over you.On to the crux of the matter. A problem shared is a problem half solved. Better you seek out help and let someone who can make a difference know your life is being threatened.
    As for those telling you to fast and pray, God does answer prayers but he's not some tv remote that you push when you want to change channel.

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  56. Guys ehn... Have bn dating dis guy for 8yrs nw on and off....d guy is very caring oooo but d thing is he is seeing someone else and kips lying dey arent dating. Am so confused cos i av tld him to leave my life alone but e wldnt and d fact I stl like him weneva he comes bk to beg I tk him bk. I dnt even knw wt to do. I have begged d boy to pls leave mi alone. He is 27 and kips saying he is too young for marriage. Mehn I no even knw Wetin to write sef . I jus nid him to fucking leave my life alone

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  57. I am happy you didn't write that the man is beating you, for this reason, I am unable to believe your story. The man is not here to defend himself and your story is so one sided; please check yourself first and make amends.

    I actually wonder why people get married these days, with all the challenges around and with both men and women behaving so silly even as boyfriend/girlfriend.
    Nobody is willing to make sacrifices or be reasonable to have meaningful discussions with their spouse. Everybody believes the other person is the bad person, yet these same people go to work and put up with bad bosses!

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  58. Hold on to God A̶̲̥̅̊nϑ pray ♓ε change! ........
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  59. May God bring sucour your way!


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  60. that is why i don't envy any married woman, because u actually don't know what they are going through inside. Marriage is over rated these days! for the single ladies out there, being single is not a curse oh. Enjoy ur single days and shine ur eyes before entering into marriage. Love is not Blind! Mine dey see road well well.

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  61. All these professional advisers, abi una no ready say she no wan advice? Think her story has no merit or is one sided all u want, doesn't change what she is trying to say. As for the church wardens among us, pray this pray that? Abeg abeg! My sister advising her to take action, I like you o jare. U get sense well well. Timi, u got to do something. Someone shows you themselves, better fucking believe them oh. And arm your self! To be forewarned is to be forearmed. Don't be doing ezigbo mmadu like chinchi & soap will enter ur eyes while u dey river. Beat dis guy to his game! Empower urself!

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  62. First of all, this is your own side of the story. I wish we could here your husband's side of the story.
    Second of all, let's stop saying men are wicked, men are this n that. It's not men, it's man!(both male and female, as the bible puts it). In the world today, there's poor morals n upbringing. Women misbehave as well as men.

    Why is it that when we say love today, what we actually mean is that elating feeling between a man and a woman. I prefer to call it attraction.
    Attraction, just like magnet, only brings to other people. And you could get attracted to people by what you see or feel from looks, possessions, character etc. Among all, choose good character.

    For me, love encompasses humanity. A loving person loves humanity, tries to treat his neighbour as himself, is caring, is ever understanding, is patient, is tolerating etc. This kind of person can live with just about anybody(they can even live with a disabled). They show love to both sexes. They fear God. Never marry some1 that shows u "love" but treats other people badly. someday, when they are too used to you, they will treat you the same way. I think it's better to judge your partner by how he/she treats other people and not just you.

    Women, a man wont cheat on you not because you are the most luvin woman, or your are the best cook, or u r the best in bed. he simply wont cheat because within his spirit, he knows it's wrong and he shouldn't do it irrespective of what his wife thinks or does. Same applies with battery and assault. I hope you get what i'm driving at.
    In the same vein, men, a woman will do you good or bad, irrespective of what you do or say.

    it's all in the spirit. Marry a good spirited person.

    If you want a happy life, look beyond looks and possessions. dont marry him/her because he/she is related to Adenuga, or he/she is the manager of a bank, or a politician or something. dont marry him/her because he/she is cute. dnt marry him out of fear of the unknown. Marry him/her because he/she has good conscience(God fearing). That way, he/she will always understand, tolerate and love you and you'll leave happily ever after.(ofcourse there will be challenges too, please dnt forget that).

    People, find a good person today and love them. They are rare. if they are cute and rich, it's a plus for you! good luck every1. I luv u all but it pains me to c people pass thru all this pain.

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    Replies
    1. A very nice and inspiring comment.
      The good nigerian.

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  63. My dear, I think you should pray, tell your pastor or imam and involve your family members, cos you can't keep your family out of this situation, if anything goes wrong you will still end up narrating the whole tale to your family, no matter how judging your family members are, still let them know how your husband has been threatening you. I won't go back to the past and say 6yrs was a long time to tell the difference blah blah blah... I just wanna offer probable solutions, pray, tell your pastor or imam, tell your very judging family members no matter what they say get them involved and get a lawyer, he can't cheat, take away your son from you and leave you alone without a dime, tell your lawyer he's threats, so any suspicious move to leave you and take away your son shall be stopped or delayed by the law. Pls don't let family or society tell you, you must stay in a marriage that is causing you grief,

    emotional and physical abuse is enough to dissolve your marriage. Women die daily from being beaten and battered to death by their husbands, if he physically abuses you, go to the hospital and treat yourself and let there be a record at the hospital that you were physically abused just incase for proof you are not making false accusations.

    love your child and take care of your child. And pls all the steps I said you should take must be done quietly, don't let him know you are visiting a lawyer,tell only close trustworthy people, as for your judging family dnt be ashamed to tell them, dnt let your life and home crumble just because you are ashamed to face your family, better now.
    #Lily

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