Saturday, August 31, 2013

Ese Walter Replies Critics! The Past Few Weeks Has 'Killed' Me

The past week has ‘killed’ me. It has stripped me of whatever ‘self-importance’ I nursed in the corners of my mind. It has broken me and opened me up to my real self. It has brought me to a deeper level of self-awareness, one I am most grateful for.

When I sat with my MacBook to type my last blog, I never imagined it would generate the kind of attention it did and continues to. I have one last thing to say on this issue before I lay it to rest and move on. (I also hope others can move on too, we have too much going on in this Country to continue to peddle one for longer than necessary.)

    A very big thank you to everyone that has felt it necessary to talk about this issue and spread it throughout Nigeria and the foreign scene. I read every email sent to me with awe that people would take the time out to reach a total stranger like me. Some were cursing, calling me a witch from the pit of hell sent to destroy the church as though one individual/church is bigger than the body of Christ. As though God is mere man and would cringe in heaven saying, “Ese don did it this time.” Or as if the good Book didn’t state clearly that ALL things work out for good for those
    that love God.

    Do you love God? If yes, trust that it will ALL turn around for good.

    Some people say, ‘I support you, you are brave and courageous’ and I wonder if those terms really define me. I do not think I am brave or courageous. I do know, however that after decades of sleepwalking through life, I am now becoming aware not just of myself but also of my environment, my world, and the universe.

    Some say, put out the evidence and we will believe you. Hmmm, the morning I sat to write that post, I really didn’t expect anyone to believe me. Well, apart from those involved. And my motive was simple, let one more woman be spared. Let one more minister of the gospel be mindful and let the church rise up to its responsibilities as God’s legal representatives here in the earth realm.

    A copy of the ‘evidence’ is with a respected minister of the gospel should the christian body decide to deal with this issue now and that becomes needful. I am not looking to have a ‘me against them’ case where I need to prove I’m right and someone is wrong. I am far from right, but I have used the only means available to me to free myself of the bondage I put myself in.

    Lastly, to all the media people seeking interviews and whatever else mailing me, I have nothing more to say on this issue. I cannot reply every email as reading them is beginning to seem like a new job.

    I remember asking a friend once while reading the book of Acts, “Why do we no longer operate in the power the disciples did in Jesus day?” What has changed? How do we ‘unchange’ it?

    God is not mocked, if we serve Him, let’s serve Him. We cannot continue to grow as a Nation by oppressing, delaying justice, hating, having the ME ME ME mentality. As Martin Luther King Jr said, ‘no one is free until we are all free.’

    Things have got to change and it begins with us. It begins with each and every one of us borrowing courage to stand for what we believe in. Fela Durotoye once said, ‘that thing that annoys you most in society is a sign that you carry its solution.’ (I’m
    paraphrasing)

    Nothing has called out to me more than people, especially women, suffering in some way and hiding the pain. Whatever we cover doesn’t go away. It grows and it finds different outlets to rear its ugly head until we deal with it.

    I am not perfect, I will never be, but I am enough to try what I feel might work. I don’t know what the entire bible says but I am learning and applying the little I find out daily. And I think everyone owes it to himself or herself to figure it out for themselves.

    At the end of the day, we agree that ‘men of God’ are firstly men, right? This means it’s needless expecting them to help you in your growth with God. I fell into that trap of thinking a ‘man of God’ is equated to God and it is not new to find people fall in that hole.

    How do you begin to learn to serve a God you have never seen? It takes another level of faith to do that but we live in a generation/Country where people don’t want to study for themselves. They don’t want to read the Scriptures. Well, they don’t want to read, period. They want to pursue things instead and have somebody do the praying and studying for them. If you fall in that category, you need to repent.

    I learnt that when the veil was torn, we all were given equal access to the Father. No matter how long you may have been in church, if you don’t know what that means you better ask somebody. And seek a real relationship with the God you claim to serve.

    That is what I am spending most of my time doing these days. Praying, studying, seeking, knocking. The peace I have felt despite all the hate mails and tantrums shows that God is not angry with me and I did what I needed to do to the best of my understanding.

    My apologies to everyone this has affected in one way or another.

    Firstly, my family: I don’t know how you guys aren’t sick of me yet ;)

    Secondly, ‘the body of Christ,’ my intention was never to cause trouble but to stop a rot I felt might spread and become worse if nobody spoke up about it.

    Lastly, to those who said I shouldn’t blog again, I respect and understand your concerns but the truth is, writing is not just my gift, it is also my ‘curse’. I cannot ‘NOT’ write but I PROMISE, this is the last I will say on this issue except the christian body needs to see me.

    God is building His church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. No sin is too big to wreck anyone’s faith. If it does, then it means it’s working out a greater good for you. You will definitely come out stronger and better in the end. Like my best friend says “in the end, it will be all right and if it ain’t alright, it’s not the end.”

    “…forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Paul.

    Cheers to the weekend people.

72 comments:

  1. Give it a rest babes...

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    1. Waoo Did anybody take note of this line? "A copy of the evidence is in the hand of a respectable minister of God" so no foul play.CLICK ON MY NAME TO LAUGH AND LAUGH UNTIL YOU FORGET YOUR NAME
      ReWaoo Did anybody read That? "A copy of the evidence is in the hand of a respectable minister of God" so no foul play.CLICK ON MY NAME TO LAUGH AND LAUGH UNTIL YOU FORGET YOUR NAME
      Re

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    2. I believe only God knows what no man knows.God will intervene accordingly.

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  2. Nicely said durln......

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  3. Ese, let me give u some PR advice... when you release a story and are convinced its the truth, stick to it and don't ever come across as one apologising for speaking the truth! it's a bad move that can damage the fabric of your claim...that being said, I'm happy you'value found the strength to move on and truly admire your courage. We still LOVE YOU!

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  4. Honestly Ese, i dont want to really say much about this because the truth is i wasnt there when u was fucking the pastor.
    But on a real...You Blogged it? Y? Do u know how many people this has affected? even me sef m now scared of going to my own church.
    You openly disgraced someone. i am certain that there would have been one person in that church that wld v listened to you and done it the proper way.The issue with me is not fucking the pastor or the pastor taking advantage of u( u know u wr raped abi). My issue yea is the way you have chosen to spread it.Come on, not a freaking Blog.
    Infact my 6th sense says theres a high chance the pastor is in the wrong here, but then again, there are ways to correct/expose someone, and writing on ur blog is defintly not one of them, obviously this part of ur writing is certainly the curse

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    1. oh pls free the girl
      how she chose to relieve herself is not anybodys business
      you dont have to be scared of going to church , c'mon youve got your freaking bible
      pick it and study it
      peace

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    2. I wonder when the bible became "freaking"..... In your mind now you've left a comment. I'm sorry for you.

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  5. Glad to know that you are still strong. You go girl, don't let them put you down, you definitely have saved more than one woman.

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  6. It is well with our souls. God knows all, and nothing can be hidden from Him. Happy wkend to u too ese. Continue to grow in d knowledge of Christ.

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  7. just to had to that, i am honestly going to pretend like i dint see the Mac Book part of ur journal. u shld v typed on ur type writer instead.

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    1. Seriously you don't need to 'had' o........olodo

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    2. I comment my reserve. tbk

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  8. May God be with u if u re sayin d truth..Candy

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  9. I like this girl. God be with you Ese.

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  10. I like this girl. God be with you Ese.

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  11. I actually love her writing. Keep writing.

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  12. She has stated her case and is standing by it. Its obvious her motive wasn't money or hate or "fury of a woman scorned". Her motive was truth. Let's leave the matter be and proceed to fight the rot which sensational pentecostalism has brought into the holy body of christ

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    1. Her motives are many. First she wants us to know she slept with a popular pastor, loved it at first...then hated herself for it. After pastor stopped patronizing her and probably moved on to the next girl, she felt scorned. She also wants us to know that she writes better than she raps and likes writing letters...first to God and now to Nigerians. She also wants us to know she uses a MacBook and she's loving her new celebrity status. Something tells me we are going to be reading many more letters from Ese Walthers by and by....SMH

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    2. Well, I will definitely coommend her writing skills. How many Nigerian youths can write pieces like she does. Its obvious you are a weak judge of character and intent. Read in between the lines and your eyes will be opened to so much more than the letters and the words they make up. As for the macbook part, its part of figurative writing...and its pretty poor on your part that all you read was sex and macbook. As for the celebrity part read up and see that she has been getting requests for interviews. She is speaking up about part of the things wrong with the country and all you can pick up are petty issues. Now I see why Nigeria will forever remain the way it is...I weep for the next generation

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    3. Anon 20:23. Thank u o. Nigerians are mentally dull when it comes to settling down to read and comprehend the focal point of any write up. I mean, all they keep pondering in this writeup is the 'mac book' section of it.
      Nigerians will always exclaim a writeup is too long, and will tell off the writer for a prolonged essay or what have u. If you guys are conversant with reading articles or whatever, you'll by now know that a deep writer takes you straight into their world to understand their state of minds and the environs in which they are compelled to write.
      But no, here we are again, my people in their passive minds have conveniently concluded that she's a show off for mentioning her mac. SMH

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  13. A gd one! At d end its between u and God, its but him u will be aswerable to .. Not any man.

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  14. I love the way she writes sha.
    I 'too' believe you.

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  15. i have never been one to comment on blogs; but this particular issue has got me very confused. What exactly is the issue here?

    1. the fact that a pastor can commit adultery; not forgetting that he is just a man?

    or

    2. That this young lady fell for a pastor?

    or

    3. did she think sleeping with him was going to get her paradise?

    or

    4. Was she hypnotized and taken advantage of?

    many many questions.....


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    1. dey dere dey ask Waec question .like you wouldnt fall for it if your pastor or pastress lol (Someone of high importance/repute wants to fuck you) Sule e be like d pastor nah ur family abi.. reality can be strange sometimes but it is what it is ,,man or ma'am Let d girl be ,the end always justifies the means ......

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  16. Waoo Did anybody read That? "A copy of the evidence is in the hand of a respectable minister of God" so no foul play.CLICK ON MY NAME TO LAUGH AND LAUGH UNTIL YOU FORGET YOUR NAME

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  17. my advice for you today is...just be careful....times are hard.
    people including pastors are mean.

    And note everybody is entitled to his/her believe.

    not everyone that calls the name Jesus will enter into the kingdom of God.To be forewarned is forearmed.

    anyways, nice write up...
    Anita

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  18. I still support you and believe you even without prove ....continue to be you ok.

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  19. So long an essay#wipes sweat# Could sm1 summarise dis pls

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  20. Ese, just get out and get lost. "AZEN" that's what you are.

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    1. another sheaple
      SMH

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    2. Am confused here..... 1st it was my pastor nd I, later, letter to God on "blog" nd now letter to Nigerians!! All for what now??? Sure there are still more to come from ur "macbook"!!!.. I just taya.

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  21. Ese, shut up already.ur aim has been achieved. Evry1 only owes God an explanation. U don't av to go on d media just to make urself av peace with God.do u know if d man has even asked God for forgiveness? Putting up pictures of urself n posing up n down will do notin for u especially in dis society.dis story is over flogged. Everyone sold move on and get closer to God.

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  22. Keep up with the attention seeking. Both you and COZA peeps are off the head.

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  23. Atleast you have achieved what you want kill the story.

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  24. Some pastors just use God's name as a cover up.They are devil's incarnate

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  25. Ese is just trying to say her mind,it is better she pours it out before she dies with it

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  26. But this Ese is just a useless girl. Are you now claiming born again? You are not married yet but you are fucking. Are you not still committing fornication? How can you have the mind to be writing all these when you are still living in sin? Abi make we talk? Useless bitch.

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    1. OH SHUSH
      He who has no sin..... cast the first stone

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    2. Best comment Cheta.

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  27. Was this girl actually raped,i dnt get it at all...like what is the whole purpose?i believe she actually expected so much more than she is getting just now thats why,she did this man for a long time until he prolly got himself a new broad.getover it girl...we all know these men are bad already dnt we,like i should be surprised that a flambuoyant pastor will wanna fuck???get over it hun.

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  28. When they won't cover their bodies well,how will pastor not enter konji mood

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  29. Blah Blah Blah

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  30. This story is getting boring *yawn*

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  31. Anon 14.33 u should not forget that our merciful Lord is a consuming fire.. Okay Ese has done wrong, what of the more knowledgeable man you are supporting. Do not forget that after God forgave David, the curses Nathan placed on him in 2Samuel Chapter 12, still came to pass.

    Her life is a warning and lesson, nothing can be hidden under the sun and any sin would lead to shame either on earth or in heaven. Pastor Biodun should apologize like David did, rather than for him to take Saul's route and cloth himself with pride and damage control

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  32. Yes! I said it!!!31 August, 2013 18:45

    You all condeming her should STFU already!!! 80% of all your so-called 'pastors' are ADULTERERS!

    'Rev' Victor Adeyemi of Global Harvest Church once told me d reason he was chasing me then was bcos his wife was not adventerous in bed and her pussy was wide after 4 kids. I had to leave d church then after sleeping with him. Ese is brave to come out, I was not. Instead I kept quiet and have not been in a church since then.

    Our 'pastors' are not role models! Know God for your self y'all!!!

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    1. Oloriburuku sombodi...all u strange women from d pit of hell,thunder will strike u all dead very soon.ur miission is to destroy ministries.oloshi

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  33. This girl no get sense o! If u intend to make a poiont, why not go all d way? Why keep the "evidence". Now let me ask u, now that u have the publicity, what do u intend to do with it? My dear u can deceive any one but not me. Telling us "ur aim is this" "ur aim is that" doesn't and can't make any sense to a rational being. If that's ur aim what happens to the aspect of ur original post that raises the defence of justification to a claim of defamation. And even if u had recordings and tapes, how do u intend to tender them in court if sued for defamation? Abeg carry ur stupid story go enter bush.

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    1. What are u talking about? Perhaps u should read ur comment again. U say if she has recordings on tape as evidence, that how does she intend to use it as proof in her defense in court for defamation against the pastor? How and why can she not present them?? Duhhhh!! If she has evidence to proof that she is right of all she's accused the pastor, then clearly, her evidences will exonerate her and the pastor's claim of libel will be lost. Then she wins!!! Is this too hard to comprehend? My God! SMH

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  34. All those yabbing her are just a bunch of idiots! Yeah! I said it! IDIOTS! She released this write-up to quench all the questions she was being asked so shut your pie holes already! We know your stance, you rep @COZA, or the pastor or Neither! She can write a gazillion more replies for all i care but i'm not going to judge neither party or their motives. Thats between them and "God". Whomever they choose to serve, all I know is my 'Alfa and Omega' is not to be mocked! Dueces!!!!!!!!!

    FYI: Any curses on me-----> BACK TO Y'ALL AND YOUR GENERATIONS (BORN AND UNBORN) IN A THOUSAND FOLDS! ORDESHIIIIIII!

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  35. Happy you are moving forward, and you have given the evidence to a respected minister of God. Now take a good rest and let God fight His battle himself.





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  36. Endtime is near. People of God embrace christ and live for him

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  37. NIGERIANS are the biggest illogical and unreasonable people you can deal with...
    i have read with shame and sadness the most unintelligent and dense of comments from people who obviously aren't ready to break and come out of the status quo of religiosity and hypocrisy but would rather see these men as men that are gods and not men of God..Would someone jeopardize her entire life,security,peace of mind and future to seek for FAME in such a base manner? of what importance and dignity would a lady ascribe to herself to come out with such a claim in a nation where she knows everyone is pretending all is well when as a matter of fact it is not,a nation where in the name of 'saving face' and not bring shame to oneself and family would dare speak out on what we all know is an everyday scenario and is true..tell me,if it was you as a lady who has been taken advantage of by your Pastor,Boss in the office,or anyone in a position of power ,would you speak out? of course NO' cos society has told you to hide, don't speak out because of what people would say and the damage it would cause you and your family right?? That's what we've all come to accept as right.PLEASE for crying out loud,this lady put out her story,mentioned names,she wasn't vengeful or malicious with her claim but spoke out to free her mind,her soul and spirit of the wrong she got caught in whether by her action or inaction and all she gets its a castigation and name calling by many who have been caught in the same web as her but because she dared speak out...smh!!! do you need to consult with whoever for a robust reply to a sex allegation against your person? The so called pastor is obviously guilty and would rather play on the minds of his already brain washed goons to cover his evil. its time we wake up and smell the coffee!!!

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    1. Thank u may God bless u,d best respond so far. You have shown great understanding of nigeria mentality with regards to accept sexual harasment and pervertion as a norm

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    2. @ JANE LAWRENCE 31 August, 2013 22:33
      "NIGERIANS are the biggest illogical and unreasonable people you can deal with..."
      I beg to differ, there are exceptions, like my humble self, Anonymous 31 August, 2013 20:23 and "VERY" few people here.
      The problem with majority of us is that we tend to loose of reasoning prowess in issues that involves 'gods of men or men of God". Ese, is a strong lady and I salute her towering courage.

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    3. May God bless you abundantly for this comment. Your brain is functioning properly. (Although, i'd rather not comment on the guilt or innocence of the pastor )
      As for those who won't stop insulting the girl, you are the reason people who face sexual harassment never speak out, it's bad enough that you won't believe them but you'll also send them on a suicide mission with the fangs you call your mouth.
      Can't you even look beyond the story and consider this issue on a broader perspective? The fact remains, GET TO KNOW GOD PERSONALLY AND STOP YOUR RELIGIOUS AFFILIATIONS, don't develop a solid relationship with your pastor while neglecting your communion with God.

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    4. Your comment is based on your experiences and reasoning which might not be enough to make a conclusive statement on the issue. Some of the above might have replied to bless you for your opinion as the best, but i differ in that analysis.

      It is not out of the ordinary for a human being, a Nigerian for that matter, to put him or herself in the line of fire (in harms way or even 'jeopardize her entire life,security,peace of mind and future')to seek for FAME, revenge.....for even what might be considered a trivial issue, or a serious issue as this. It has been done before, shall continue to be done, everyday for that matter.
      And yes, in full view of the public.

      I said that to say this, yes, it can be said that there is an ounce or two (more than the regular dose stipulated for some individuals)of courage in Ese Walters, but the question is, Is this an honorable way to get peace?
      Anyone can have courage to do even the stupidest thing, a suicide bomber has courage, a thief has courage, that does not mean what they are doing is honorable.

      My take on this is that Ese Walters could have gotten her peace in a more honorable way than this. This is not an issue that we will all say is new under the sun, we all know that things like this happen, and that's why when Ese came out with her story, it was believable, its not a story we'll hear and go Unbelievable! People have been dealing with this, many have overcome the guilt, am sure.

      No matter what people say and what you try to tell yourself Ese Walters, this was not the way to go. I wonder how you cant feel guilty as a result of this courageous action.....

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  38. This girl has no shame. He did not rape her at all. She only got angry that the affair failed to continue or after she realized that he just needed sex without feelings. She had damaged his reputation; what more does the witch want. He is not a real pastor and she is a devil.

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  39. You Have been use by other ministry...it can't work work...even if u want to help the matter why can't u report him to his mentor and why his protege...I rest my case

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  40. Controversial Ese. I want to believe you ain't lying but since you've moved on, channel your writing skills onto other topics. Or are you making more money off the numerous hits to your blog since this breaking news? Move on.

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  41. I admire ur courage.

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  42. On d last day only true believers shall be raptured.....to err is human and to forgive is divine,ese forgive dis man close d chapter,n move on.only God has d final say on dis matter

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  43. Ese!shut up already!you were not raped in anyway!neither were you taken advantage of!you had fun while it lasted.Now that your story is out,what should we do about it pls?Get a life looser!

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  44. Ese dear is people like u dats makes me so proud of being a woman thank u so much for exposing dat satanic and devilish pastor biodun and d likes of him. So many women have learnt sometin from dis neva worship ur pastor cos dey ar mere mortal like u and I becos at d last day judgement will start frm d church and nt many dat call me lord will enter d kingdom of heaven,ese may. God bless u abundantly successful and give u a good husband thanks for saving a lot of women, I love u bt God loves u more dear move on wit ur life k is only God dat will strike dat pastor biodun in his fury. Biodun may God punish u and ur supporters may u rot in d enternal frames of hell.worship God he his our saviour nt evil pastors.

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  45. Gyal me I believe jare, after all one pastor told me that he wouldn't mind me having his baby. But man I ran and never looked back oo. Be strong

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  46. Remember Pastors are men and not God,they have blood running through their veins...I pray God sees you through.

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  47. The girl has guts. It takes a whole lot to do what she did. God is not mocked. Whatsoever a man sows, he will reap. What I take from this is that I should work out my salvation with fear, trembling and a healthy dose of humility. The end is near and we shall all stand and give account one by one. Let he who has ears hear. it not about judging anybody or using abusive words. Are we on the right path

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