Tuesday, January 21, 2014

WOW! My Late Sister’s Husband Wants My Hand In Marriage

Hi Ladun, I need your readers urgent advice. Please this is important to me. Thank you.

I am a 27 years old lady who has been living with my elder sister’s family for over ten years. Unfortunately I lost my sister two years ago and have been of help to her widower by taking care of my three nieces. However the situation is already out of hand as my sister’s widower is getting used to my company. 

He has been taking me out for romantic dinners and outings and eventually proposed marriage. He often tells me he sees my sister in me, and loves the way I care and show love to my nieces which I think it’s natural to show love to relatives notwithstanding if they are dead or alive.

He needs my positive answer to inform my parents back in the village about his intentions. I’m so confused and cannot come to a decision on this whole issue at hand. Is it a taboo? .Don’t even know what next step to take. Dear readers I need your candid opinion on this. Thanks.


121 comments:

  1. So you have been sleeping with your brother in law since??? What advice do u need? Dont u know what's right or wrong??

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    1. so you fink everyone is like you abi? She wants advance, if you dont know wat to tell her then move on.... it is not by force to comment

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    2. Stupid idiot hiding under anonymous, what's ur business???

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    3. Femme fatale, dont mind the fools. He has been taking u for romantic dinners. Did he put a gun to ur head? Of course u hv started sleeping with him na. Ashawo. U cant even respect ur late sisters memory. I appreciate that u r taking care of the kids but cant u do it from outside? Maybe come in everyday and take care of them and leave or move to your parents house with them kids n work from there? Ask yourself - would your sister be happy with this development? 2) if u were the dead one, would you be happy if ur sister were to marry your husband? U better go n fibd your own husband n take care of d kids from outside since he has confidence in u n u want to help ur late sister out. Give urself brain

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    4. @Femme Fatale u knw so u no get sense, neither can u read. Wer did she say she was sleepn with him? If u can't give any reasonable advice, u either exit or move on. Stupid bleaching bitch!

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    5. Hahaha. The bleaching cream don rub for im eyes so reading na froblem. Judgmental goat

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    6. @Duchess,the part where she says "however the situation's already out of hand" implies to the discerning mind that things've gone farther than what's been admitted to.

      To the lady poster,pls feel free to give him your hand but not your vajayjay.

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    7. Duchess, stop being foolish pls. Poster didnt hv to say it. Its easy to assume she has been sleeping with him as inferred by her post. Y is she still there? Would u b happy if u were d dead woman?

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    8. @Duchess.... put ur ugly face and lets see how u look. Jealousy is a disease.

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    9. Thank u anon 15:24. Well said

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    10. Anon 15:58... what is froblem????? Lmao. Go back to school

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    11. Nothing about being judge mental...right is right n Wrong is wrong. Of all the men in d world it d man ur sister died leaving behind as her husband that u want to marry. May Romantic dinners not make u blind in IJN. Abeg keep it moving jor

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    12. To this school of tot. We are in Africa and this kind of practice is what happens in some families where a sister dies and the other sister has to marry the sister's husband. Whatever be the reason why the man propose to her is personal but I'm more concerned abt the children. If like Femme Fatale said earlier she should go outside to get her man, what about the children that are already used to her. If their dad had to marry another woman, she would probably maltreat them. She shuld inform her parents, if they agree why not, if not she shuld leave it at dat. Let the dead rest while life goes on for the living. If the dead sister was comfortable enof for her to live with her family, i fink she wont mind (in her grave) if her sister continues to take care of her family than an outsider.

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    13. Femme Fatale arnt ur real name either.u Pussy!!

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  2. Ladun, i just watched your vlog. you are pretty and dark. i will come here more dear. keep up the good work.

    yeah we like the girl.

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    1. My question is when u have kids with this man, wat will b the relationship btw them n ur sis kids? Watin them go the call eachother?

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    2. Pls don't marry him. There are many young and responsible men out there for you.
      about it, will ur sister like it?

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    3. @femme fatale.... you need to go back to school to learn how to read. Did you see a sentence were she said she slept with her brother in-law?

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  3. I dont see anything wrong there. its not like you were cheating on your sis with her husband. if you have both grown to love each other, i kinda think its sweet.
    But hey, maybe you should discuss with your folks if there is any cultural implication.
    I am just a romantic at heart, and I think it would be great for the kids too.

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  4. If you feel the same for the guy, then go for it. I personally feel is Okay.

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  5. This is so serious, it is not a taboo in some part and some part it is a taboo, in my own view i dont think there is something bad in it,my question is are you in a relationship

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  6. If u love him, marry him and take care of ur 3 nieces urself cos if u allow another woman to come in, u might not like the way she will treat ur nieces. And again wats d age difference and his ideologies? If u see urself in him, hand everything to God and allow God to do his work. Best of luck

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    1. nice comment there!!

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    2. The world will be a better place if only we could all make reasonable comments such as these.

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  7. You are now trying to pretend as if you dont know it will lead to this, are you not the one seducing him, now he has propose, marry him on saturday and do thanksgiving on sunday

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    1. Loooool..bless you for the big laugh.

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  8. from my understanding, you self like the guy

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  9. I don't think its a taboo sha. It so much depends on u and how ur family sees it.

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  10. From d way u re sounding its clear u lyk d man as well nd u wouldn't mind marrying him. But at d same tym u re thinking abt wat pple would say. Anyways since u both re interested in each other nd re not willingly 2 respect d dead ie ur sister by commiting dis aborminable act. Pls feel free nd marry him as long as ur parents nd family members give their consent

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  11. Ehya! I understand where he's coming from. You need to investigate properly to b able to ascertain it this act is a taboo in your place and his place too. If it's not pls go ahead. It's even better than bringing in a stranger from no where that will maltreat the kids. Whatever ur decision, I wish u the best.

    *that_Edo_babe!

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  12. You must be a bad girl, you didnt voice out when he was taking you to romantic dinners, go to the village and tell your mama, she will just give you dirty slap .

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  13. Are u kidding me? Who knows u must ve been sleeping wit him way bfor ur sista died. Wat a shame. U go out on romantic dinners wow!! D real question here is how long have u guys been datin, even before ur sista died?

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    1. Like seriously!

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    2. Shut up dere.. Why re u commenting foolish gal

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  14. Dis one is Lawd o. Well let's learn

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  15. Keep showing love to your nieces and their family and reject the marriage proposal. someone out there is meant for you and your brother in-law has to move on.

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  16. Wow..... It just doesn't feel right!
    www.flayvour360.com

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  17. Sister mary see ur mouth lyk u have been helping out in taking care of d children. Ifa hear, u have been fucking ur sistas husband since nd servicing him. So now he wants to take it 2 d next level. How disgusting. So men haff finish 4 dis world dat u decide to sleep wit ur sisters husband? U re cursed my dear. Go to d church nd pray 4 forgiveness nd park out 4rm d house. If he wants some1 2 take care of d children he shuld get a househelp better still marry anoda gal but certainly not u. Have u no fear sef dis lady. At dis age u shuld b thinking of settling down wit a man not ur late sistas man ooo. your OWN man.

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    1. @JOSEPHINE.... why do most Africa women think you have to have sexual intercourse with a man before he propose? I'm pretty sure you have the mentality of having sexual intercourse with a man before he asks for your hand in marriage, young lady don't get it twisted. The man might have naturally fell in love with her because of the care love she shows to his kids. Not all women are loosed and cheap. There are few Good ones

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    2. Mumu! Didn't you read that she has been living with them and going out to dinner, Or u need some eye drops to see dis clearly?

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    3. @Anon 23:25... I don't need an eye drop to see clearly. I'm sure you are one of those cheap motherfuckers and fatherfuckers that don't have control over their punani and don't believe that two adult can live in the same house without fucking. cheap whore.... that's how you will keep fucking every dick and harry, caro, julie and Ifeoma without non of them proposing marriage. Get a brain and a Life

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    4. U r so dumb, do guys bear Caro or Julie? Dumn head!

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    5. @Anon 12:15... you are not smart enough to understand that when someone calls you motherfucker and fatherfucker IT MEANS you at Bisexual "Nymph". You are the dumb Ass... lol... You need to be intellectually smart. Olodo

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  18. 10 years of living with them, how old are you then

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  19. Make sure you take care of your sisters kids as it will make your late sister happy.

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    1. Kids does not include husband o. I support taking care of the kids. I am against a relationship with d man. Tel d man to let u care for d kids from outside.

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  20. D question is, do u love d guy? Was he a gud husband to ur sis? Is he d kind of guy u would wanna spend d rest of ur life wth? If ur ans is yes, then u shld go ahead, don't worry abt what pple would say, it's ur life, besides, if u dnt marry him,he might marry someone else that might end up maltreating ur neices! And I kn u don't want dat....

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  21. This is super story.... *music tune*


    J.j

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  22. Marry him if you love him but dont forget sister's cord, blood is thicker than water

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  23. Hi darling, your story is quite similar to nollywood movies.lol! First things first, do you love him? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him? If your answers are YES, then go after what makes you happy. As long as both of you didn't kill her; please be happy, be very happy.

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  24. Seems you're already in love and sleeping with him and now you're scared your sister's ghost is gonna come for you so you decided to come on a blog and look for who to allay your fears. Well guess what? Your sister's ghost is gonna flog you every night if you marry that man. I hope she uses a big fat stick while at it.

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    1. Hahahahahaha @ big fat stick...

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    2. "Professor X", You train of thoughts is very myopic and sickening for a supposedly learned person.

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    3. Anon 14.43... he is right! why cant she be their nanny instead of their stepmother? Think about it.

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    4. lagos is my home21 January, 2014 16:07

      @14.43 its ur thought that is sickening. Is he the only man in this world, so if she has children with d man, the children are now SIBLINGS and COUSINS . Na !!! that doesn't sound right at all

      One man per family member , any other needs head examination

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    5. I thought about it and perhaps you should take it as she's saying it rather than allowing your imagination run wild. How can you just conclude they are already having an affair?

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  25. Well, I personally think this is not encouraging, because I will think you were already having an affair before your sister died. And also, after she died, I didnt see the reason for staying with your sister's widower for 2 years. Haba!!! You check am na!!! All the same, it seems your mind is already made up, you are only looking out for people's opinion. My candid advice... Park your load and go!!!

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  26. From the look of things, it seems like u killed your sister to gain access to her husband's life. If u jst did dis, the ghost of ur sis will continue to hunt you until u confess. Go ahead and marry him and face d gbese u caused

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    1. Thank u jare Ukah, good somebody. I've never seen my brother inlaws from a sexual angle. Infact, I don't like going to all my elder sisters place except its important. You've been sleeping wt the guy all along and lieing about it. U cudnt even respect ur late sis, just 2 years and u are doing shit. Biko, park well. If u like marry, if u like,no marry, na u sabi.

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    2. AVID BlOG READER21 January, 2014 17:55

      Jeez my are Nigerians so myopic

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    3. Haaaa!!!,Ukah Glory u r a worthless Cunt.pls go to school. Myopic Pussy!

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  27. You have been sleeping with him even when your sister was alive, so what opinion do you need? did you seek for opinion when you were about to sleep with him for the first time? or when you are doing it for ten years now? so you now need advise.
    Anyway, if you are sure that you did not contribute to your sisters death, or you did not connive with your late sisters husband to kill her, or you did not sleep with your late sisters husband while she was alive, then you can marry him if you love him, ready and willing to take care of your sisters kids with clean heart, and spend the rest of ur life with him.

    But if you are guilty of any, do not try it because your sisters kids will grow and some people out there will tell them of what happened and they will use it against you later.

    Otherwise, look for another man and marry. Mayor

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  28. Eewo in yorubaland, marrying or sleeping with your sister's husband is like you eating bad eggs and when you do so, it is either it kills you or harm you

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  29. Have you prayed about it?

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  30. Go for him, if u love him

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  31. Go for him if u really Love him.

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  32. Pls Honour the memory of ur late Sister by Leaving her husband alone. U can and will always be there for the kids. It's not a taboo but it's not right. There are other men out there in the world. Think of what ur sister would say if she was alive, i'm sure she might not be happy. I've personally seen this happen and the sister that took over is very very unhappy today..Let ur conscience guide u..

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  33. have u slept with him? if u have then u might as well just marry him.
    If u havent, (cos of obviously u have eyes/like him so no need to ask if u do or no), then talk to ur parents ALTHOUGH i wouldnt want my sister's husband. God forbid but aye to each his own.

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  34. You are a successful plotter,living with your sister for ten years,seeing how caring and wealthy her husband was,stupid assumptions get to you that there is nothing bad for you having her man,the chance of killing your sister came and you killed her to have her man, after two years of her death,he was not even paying attention to you because he is a strong man, after lot of temptation from you to get him, he started inviting you for romantic dinners, that is still not enough you went to seek the help of spiritualist who will get him to sleep with you,the charm worked, as he cant recall when he made love to you,now you are 2 weeks pregnant, thinking about what mama will say,so you need advices to help you figured out what to do next.No advice here calamituous woman

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    1. Choi!!! na wa o. See African magic script writer

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    2. U go fear o...Dis one bad pass Lancelot nd Desmond Elloit sef.

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    3. OMG r u fucking for real......which kain mind u get sef

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  35. Imagine this girl oh! May God forgive u for even concieving such an idea! So ur kids would be cousins and step-siblings at the same time??? I just hope u had no hand in ur sister's death.

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  36. realy? like seriously??? so its alrite for a man to marry is late bro wife but its not alrite for a woman to marr her late sis hubby? hippos all of u!

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  37. Trouble for your sister's children as you will maltreat them out of jealousy

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  38. am sure u hv already made up ur mind if not u wont be asking other pple's opinion co ur first answer toi his proposing wld hv been NO and for ur info ur sis wont be happy if u go ahead to marry her hubby. i don tell u my own ooo jawoooooooo

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  39. how would u feel if rverse is the case? What also killed your sister, a mother of 3 kids. Shine your eye.

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  40. The question is what is going to happen between your own biological future kids and your sister kids? you should know this is not proper and its insane. your own kid and your sister kids having the same father? the only way you cld make it right is by you not having your own real kids. then its okay.

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  41. its not right my dear,he is not the right person for u...just let him go

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  42. Why is it a taboo? she did not kill her sister neither did the man,they have not been having any affair before the sister died,and i am sure even the sister wherever she is will much prefer someone she can trust and vouch for with her children its an added bonus that such person is her blood..

    what we call taboo are simply a set of rules drawn up by some elders in the society probably due to a few incidents that happened during their time..its not written anywhere and its certainly not in the constitution..

    Abeg marry the man and anyone who doesn't like it let them not attend the wedding no be by force..the children will thank you for it when they grow old but in this kind of sensitive situation i suggest the man had a man to man talk with your dad rather than sending you to inform them that will further worsen an already bad situation…i am sure by the time he explains the practical aspects to your dad they will thrash it out and come to an agreement

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    1. Luca I stand by you...
      Poster I guess you are Igbo, I hope you read this.
      MARRY HIM... IT IS NOT A TABOO.
      And be quick o, before he marries some other woman who will come and kill your nieces o.
      I know a family friend who did and today they are all living well... All children well taken care of... If for nothing else, do it for your sister so that she can rest in peace knowing you are going to treat her children like yours.... Please DO IT

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    2. AVID BlOG READER21 January, 2014 17:54

      Luca gbam! In fact I wish I could shake you.

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    3. Please poster, I beg you to follow Luca's advise if he is a good man. Do not take heed to majority of comments here. If your family gives you the go ahead, pls marry!

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  43. Love is so strong you can end up marrying who you dont even think you will ever marry, this my sister is very much in love, i can bet that with my life

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  44. My thoughts exactly especially your last paragraph,and BTW, are you sure this FEMME FATALE isn't the dead sister with so much hate on the poster,cos she looks like a ghost to me...justsaying.

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  45. Your sister's husband is very correct, there is no way another woman will come in and not make life miserable for the children, even you too will do more but yours will come down a little,simply because you share the same blood with their mother.

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  46. I was in this type of mess some years back, i figured out that he was using my sister for rituals the effect was that my sister will be dying gradually and after her death he has to marry from the her family or killed two out of his children.prayer to God help me in knowing the kind of devil he was.
    Just watch your back so as not to make your family lose you too

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  47. God forbid bad thing
    Its a big no to marry your late sister's husband
    Anji

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  48. AVID BlOG READER21 January, 2014 17:53

    God forbid I die at a young age but if I do, my priority and hope will be for my husband to have a wife that would love my children almost as much as I do. If that is my sister, then so be it.

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  49. Dont do it he loves u cos he sees traces of ur sister in you nt cos he luvs u 4 u

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  50. I personally tink is a taboo is not just rite, wat ill d children tink of u. Dat u killed dia Mum just to av her husband...

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  51. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  52. I personally tink is a taboo is not just rite, wat ill d children tink of u. Dat u killed dia Mum just to av her husband...

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  53. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  54. Aunty poster, marry him. U r a lady with a pure and clean heart, dats y u r asking for advice. Cos things like this can confuse one. He wants u cos he is very sure u love your sisters children. Don't mind or listen to any frustrated poverty stricken, people who never have any positive comment to make.

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  55. Till DEATH do them part my dear Death don do dem part so what's the problem,its ur life we will not live it for u,just do what gives u joy

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  56. in were I'm from{Zanzibar},is not a taboo.because we believe no one will love those children except a family member.you know those children better than anyone else.so is a common thing

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  57. This babe might have even killed her sister. So many desperate women everywhere. She clearly doesn't miss her supposedly late sister. Mtchew! Abeg look for another pinger. After three kids, that penis don old.

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  58. This babe might have even killed her sister. So many desperate women everywhere. She clearly doesn't miss her supposedly late sister. Mtchew! Abeg look for another pinger. After three kids, that penis don old.

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  59. You are a disgrace to sisterhood!!! You want to sleep with d same instrument that your sister used! You are beyond useless!!!

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    1. U r sure sick!!!,the lady only asked for advice and not insults.

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  60. My dear pray and hope for ur own hubby... U can always care for ur sister kids. But d big question here is Why In The World Did You stay back in your sister's house after her demise??? You must have had something in mind joor. Please let go of your broda In-law cos I'm sure dt even ur parents have neva prayed to have one Guy marry their 2 daughters.

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  61. Hi, first of all, there is nothing wrong with it as long as ur sister is late. Secondly, have you discussed it with ur family in order to find out if it's an abomination or not. lastly, have you prayed about it? Whatever we do it is always safer to include God in it for wisdom and direction. If at the end you end up with him, i hope you will be fair enough to recognize ur late sisters children's rights in the family considering African traditional noms. Babe, if it goes down well with ur family and you are dead sure of a happy home with him, ring the bell. Wish you well.

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  62. Advice pray about it, let your Pastor know and if you are not satisfied ask your mother for advice. My candid opinion is to go for it. Yes

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  63. Advice pray about it, let your Pastor know and if you are not satisfied ask your mother for advice. My candid opinion is to go for it. Yes

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    1. Must everything end up in on the pastor's desk ? why not advise her to seek counseling from her self first then her parents ? everything for nigeria na passtor this pastor that.No wonder some wives now take permission from their pastors before straffing their husbands..

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  64. I so hate this about some Nigeria blog readers.this Lady clearly needs advice so why hauling insults on her?.some even ask questions and also answer it by themselves. pls if u dnt have a mature well thought through advice for the young Lady then pls keep ur pretty mouths shot!!! ~ KRS1

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  65. If the both of you feel good about being together forever, by all means marry him. And do so well. Seek God and your parent's blessing and be sure to treat the kids as yours.
    I'm a Muslim and in Islam, there is nothing wrong in marrying a late sibling's spouse. In fact, it is encouraged. Who else will treat her kids better than you will/can.
    And your kids and hers grow up as siblings- rightly so! It's more tempting to simply leave them and find your own man, but I assure you that if your late sister's husband loved her, it will reflect on how well he will treat you. Go ahead and enjoy a life of marital bliss!
    I would love for my sister to marry my hubby someday when I am no more but I have only one sister and we are both happily married. Abi who else will take care of my home better than my sister or mother? Unfortunately, a man cannot marry his MIL.

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  66. Nawa. Are ur children going to be your nieces' cousins or half siblings? Don't think of the present; think of the future pls. Don't let ur past haunt you when you go the way of ur sister(when u die or get old). Don't be in a rush please. Its really an akward situation. And you haven't come out to deny the accusation levelled against you abt sleeping with your sister's husband already since you sent this post yourself and im sure you come out to read comments (abi advice) Simply means you are.

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  67. Why not starting jobs today instead of waiting for the government to create all the jobs we need,
    for details http://mediajobnet.com/?id=69843

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    1. Most pple hre are senseless and stupid.....she never mentioned 'sex'dai,i dnt kw why ple judge others wif the stupid tinz they do and think..no wounder most nigeriaz are hypocrite especially the gals..

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  68. Pls i see nothing wrong with it, if you love him, let God know about it

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  69. my first time to commemt on your blog... i love blog keep it up .

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  70. gosh..... so many juvenile and retarded comments here....cant even deal with it, cant you lot just give your advice based on what she said instead of assuming and adding all kinds of scenarios to the gist......smh

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