Saturday, May 3, 2014

Female Celebrities Prefer 2nd Hand Husbands- Etcetera

Some days ago I was at a friend's place and was asked by his sisters if I was traveling abroad for the wedding of a colleague that is still being talked about on blogs and on all social networking sites in nigeria and I said no I wasn't. But what struck me as odd was when one of them asked me "is she getting married to a BRAND NEW husband or a 2ND HAND husband"?

I stared at her in shock and confusion because up until that moment, I had never heard of a phrase as "brand new or 2nd hand husband. It became a heated debate amongst people in the house that day. 'WOW', I never thought a phrase like 2nd hand can be attributed to a human being. I know it is only applicable to objects. At first i was angry. How could they have said such.


But as crazy and odd as it may have sounded, they drew my attention to their observations that it is a trend currently popular amongst female celebrities in nigeria. The guys in the house even tweaked it into a joke. 

Adding that it is a normal thing in nigeria that when you can't afford a brand new car you go for a 2nd hand one. I couldn't help but laugh at that one. But on my way home, I thought about it for a minute and asked myself if truly a 2nd hand or brand new theory can be a determinant in finding a husband? It got me staring at every car passing by, trying to understand the rational behind the argument of a 2nd hand husband and a brand new one. How do you determine if a husband is a 2nd hand? I asked myself. I was later told that a man becomes a 2nd hand if he was previously married or is still married to another woman before taking a new wife. 

And that a 2nd hand husband just like a 2nd hand car comes in two types. Nigerian used and Tokunbo. Meaning the husband who was previously married and living here in nigeria is the "nigerian used", while the one shipped in from abroad is the Tokunbo version. Shocking isn't it? Ok, let us analyse this for a minute. It is a known fact that in nigeria, when you want to buy a 2nd hand car you are strongly advised to take a mechanic with you. So can you also do the same with a 2nd hand husband? Should it also be recommended that when going for a 2nd hand husband you should make sure to take a medical doctor to administer all the necessary check ups to be sure you are not getting damaged goods?

Because in the true sense of it, a 2nd hand is a 2nd hand whether car or husband.

And If the carburetor of a 2nd hand car can easily pack up on 3rd mainland bridge, it means a 2nd hand husband can also pack up on the way to the alter. As these thoughts were spinning in my head, I began asking myself the same questions they asked me. Why do nigerian female celebrities prefer 2nd hand husbands. Or Why would anyone prefer a 2nd hand husband? But come to think of it, Is it that our female celebrities can no longer afford the luxury of waiting for the brand new ones to come along? 

Or have the brand new ones refused to be fooled by the razzmatazz or flashy make ups, thick foundations, artificial nails, Brazilian hair and Peruvian eye lashes? Can it be attributed to a thing of choice? They said a 2nd hand husband is often an Alhaji or an Otunba with pot belle and deep pocket. Is it because of the  money or societal status of the men? As long as he is fully loaded she really does not care. Some went further to say that a 2nd hand husband is already tested and trusted with a confirmed rate of performance and durability? 

So figure a female celebrity asking her colleague, "What is the mileage of your 2nd hand husband? And she replies "Ahhh I nor know say hin former wives don finish am oo.. Na shaft I marry ooo, My sista nor be small thing ooo, even my doctor sef say him liver go soon park up. And na for hospital I dey sleep for the past 3 weeks. Just like 2nd hand car owner dey sleep for mechanic workshop everyday. As my Curiosity got the better of me, I asked them for names of female celebrities with 2nd hand husbands. I was shocked beyond recognition that the list they gave me was as long as the distance from mile 2 to Badagry. According to the list, almost all married female celebrity in nigeria has a 2nd hand husband and even some of the female celebrities themselves are 2nd hand. And some of the male celebrities also have 2nd hand wives or they themselves are 2nd hand. Well, if you don't believe me, make a list of your own and be amazed as I am right now. 

My conclusion is that the issue of 2nd hand husband is not peculiar to entertainers. It is a general societal disease and it is as a result of too many failed marriages we have in the society at large. While nobody should be blamed for falling in love or getting married to whoever he or she chooses, it is also important that we position our lives to inspire the children and future entertainers who see us as role models in the society. You may argue that it is not the society's business what you do with your affairs. Which is very true but also remember that being a celebrity makes your life a public affair. So go ahead girls, take home the 2nd hand husbands, it is your choice and it does not matter even if he looks like an "accidented" car with scary mileage. 

If you love him that much and he has some money to spend, you can take him to the highly skilled american body mechanic called Dr. 90210 to panel-beat and mask all his dents. And if you are fortunate to find one whose mileage is manageable, you can take him to Ladipo market, buy the missing body parts and get a local panel-beater to fix him. And if you are a handy-woman, You can even do the servicing yourself by getting a complete first aid kit with bandages, Ampiclox and mentholatum and massage his joints every night before sleeping.



54 comments:

  1. Lol...na true the guy talk oo. sentiments aside

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  2. SECOND HAND HUSBAND IS THE BEST

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  3. You too got a second hand wife

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  4. Ectera is desperately seeking attention
    and I am not giving it to you

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    Replies
    1. U can say dat again.....more so I sure say dem no giv am invitation for d wedin + e pain am baje

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    2. Nice write up. Etcetera is talented but he needs to write on topics that won't cause conflicts among people

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  5. Husband na husband.Brand new or tokunbo

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  6. Which one are you. Brother ode

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  7. This guy is beefing real hard.It's not others fault that you are out of your game.Stop saying nasty things about them

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  8. This guy! is he a musician or wat, cos I don't know him n have never come across any of his materials. Rather than poke nose in other ppl's biz, y not channel this energy into showing ur God given talent that will help reduce ur jealousy. U r very bitter

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    1. And you're not bitter? With this your venomous outburst over an article that says nothing but the truth. Abeg park well joor, na bcos u sef be 2nd or 3rd hand, abi na snatch you snatch?

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    2. @KB what is so venomous about @Tamika Jona's post? I'll show you venomous: What Etcetera (or whatever he calls himself) wrote is total bull crap. NOBODY has the right to judge someone because they had a failed marriage and them put the tag 'second hand husband/wife' on them. The fact that someone had a broken marriage doesn't disqualify them from finding love and marrying again. So what if celebrities marry divorcees? Are they not human beings? Is he trying to start a stupid trend or introduce a new slang or what? When did it become right to start labelling human beings as '2nd hand'? This stupid and unintelligible article (with stupid references like passing cars on the road and wondering stupidly which is 2nd hand or brand new like he had never driven a 2nd hand car in his life, rme*) shows the guy needs a little more growing up and exposure. Not all divorcees go back into marriage without sorting themselves out emotionally. I totally agree with @Tamika Jona, Etcetera needs to go get a life and make his irrelevant self relevant or something.

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  9. Where's the list

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  10. The Peruvian eye lashes got me laughing, but all what he said is the gospel truth. Tiwa, Ini Edo, Mercy Johnson and co. I hope you guys are seeing this. Lol

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  11. Dry mofo!does he think he can sleep,wake up and become a journalist.badly written piece

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    1. Hehehehehehhehe illetracy join your 2nd hand runs. That's an excellent truthful article. Ask your english teacher for refund.

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    2. Hi Etcetera aka KB

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  12. This is so a kitchen counter/ hairdressers talk. I don't see a man in either settings, some talks should never leave the confines of your room. So the point of this essay is?! 2nd hand husband my fanny. I pray this man never sees the tragedy that wld make him, 2nd hand father

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  13. Lol....really second hand husband, is their choice.

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  14. Honsylglobal.com :UK Global Financial Advisers03 May, 2014 13:38

    Funny and purely sarcastic.

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  15. Okay......we Don hear you

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  16. This got me laughing and T.O.L. Truth is bitter but needs to be said.He who have ears let him hear.This guy as spoken people will insult him but all in all "na the person wey get the shoe size go wear am " and hopefully people who will insult him will see what he is really saying
    *to those who are not in the shoe and are celebrities*.

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  17. Anyone that you marry that is not a virgin is used... either Tokunbo or Nigerian used.


    Mayowa

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  18. Lol! Interesting.

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  19. Waka commot jor

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  20. My choice is brand new

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  21. It's not only celebrities.It's everywhere

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  22. You will end up marrying a married woman

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  23. This write up is out of it.Trash

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  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. Madam 20s and married..I hope u married each other as virgins...if not, wake up! You both are in d used category. You welcome!

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  25. Lol Yea, the truth is always bitter, we will have to accept the truth even if we are involved. DERA MI

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  26. Funny but absolute truth in it.Recycled husband.Not only Nigerian problem though

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  27. He's exposing his secret

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  28. THIS GUY IS BRAINLESS

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  29. It is a general thing.Speak for yourself

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  30. Well said. They need to stop snatching other people's husbands

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  31. Very shallow and baseless article. We can as well call everyone who dated/had sex with somone else before their spouse used. This writer obviously did not have any debate with anyone on this matter. He wants to get noticed by all means, well.. you got noticed..enjoy your few hours of fame :)

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  32. This one is a thesis. I need to sit down with nkwobi and umqumbothi to read this guy here.

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  33. Gigolo master is talking

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  34. When it come to most naija men, 1st or 2nd hand all na the same

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  35. ℓ hv been married 4 six yrs now aand ℓ was 39yrs old when ℓ got married while husband haad 2kids from his previous marriage. If you like call myy husbaand 2nd hand, ℓ careless. If the initial owner refuses ţọ̥ taake care her property aand she loses it then it ϊȿ cup of her tea. Stories has it that she was a very lazy wife, watches only dstv from morning till night. Very lazy person who squander and mismanage her business venture. So when she pushed her husband out, ℓ grabbed him with mmy two hands. 6yrs later the rest ϊȿ history.

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    Replies
    1. u lured him to u, n used juju to make the wife lazy.

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  36. Dis guy should pray that life doesn't dish him serious marriage blows or he will end up a 3rd hand husband (I.e his first wife dies, his second wife leaves and he is about to marry his 3rd wife at 50yrs old). Life happens, you deal with it and keep moving. Never be too quick to judge other people's life, u don't know what life has in store for u. What u condemn others for, may happen to you too.

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    1. 50 million likes my dear.imagine the guts he has

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  37. Which truth? Who is he to judge anyone? Is he perfect or when did he turn to God? Don't you all have your own shit..cos no one is talking doesn't make you perfect.is he a virgin? If not i think he fits into his description of 2nd hand.no body knows your sorry ass...just looking for a controversy to burst into fame..rotten shit...Excreta I mean etcetera abi failed musician cum journalist.

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  38. Just reading this write up after the hoola hoola from the Baloguns and all i see is a simple comical write up! So, what is Tiwa's problem with this article.. Someone should tell her to take a chill pill. Never liked her anyway.. I am second hand.. Was married for 10 years, been divorced for 3 and i strongly believe any woman who gets me now, even though she will be getting a second hand husband, i come with loads of experience both in life and in love. I definitely won't be making the mistakes of my past and since i am not ready to be a third hand husband, the lucky girl might just be getting a life companion.. So, i guess there are some good that can come out of being a second hand husband.. Nothing to be ashamed of..

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  39. Sad i'm just seeing dis, wld have trashed dis dude b4 Tiwa and her hubby did, while ur mate are busy cracking their heads and tinkin of ow 2 make more money, u're busy discussing anoda man's marriage...wat has dis got 2 do wit ur destiny? ow does dis bring food to ur table? will dis bring back our galz? will dis stop d bombing? get ur lazy ass busy and stop lloking for cheap publicity,if music has failed u brother, try other means....MOFO

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  40. Very true!

    For Hookups, pls visit www.blogsvila.blogspot.com

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