Female Celebrities Prefer 2nd Hand Husbands- Etcetera

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Some days ago I was at a friend’s place and was asked by his
sisters if I was traveling abroad for the wedding of a colleague that is still
being talked about on blogs and on all social networking sites in nigeria and I
said no I wasn’t. But what struck me as odd was when one of them asked me
“is she getting married to a BRAND NEW husband or a 2ND HAND
husband”?
I stared at her in shock and confusion because up until that
moment, I had never heard of a phrase as “brand new or 2nd hand husband.
It became a heated debate amongst people in the house that day. ‘WOW’, I never
thought a phrase like 2nd hand can be attributed to a human being. I know it is
only applicable to objects. At first i was angry. How could they have said
such.

But as crazy and odd as it may have sounded, they drew my
attention to their observations that it is a trend currently popular amongst
female celebrities in nigeria. The guys in the house even tweaked it into a
joke. 
Adding that it is a normal thing in nigeria that when you can’t afford a
brand new car you go for a 2nd hand one. I couldn’t help but laugh at that one.
But on my way home, I thought about it for a minute and asked myself if truly a
2nd hand or brand new theory can be a determinant in finding a husband? It got
me staring at every car passing by, trying to understand the rational behind
the argument of a 2nd hand husband and a brand new one. How do you determine if
a husband is a 2nd hand? I asked myself. I was later told that a man becomes a
2nd hand if he was previously married or is still married to another woman
before taking a new wife. 
And that a 2nd hand husband just like a 2nd hand car
comes in two types. Nigerian used and Tokunbo. Meaning the husband who was
previously married and living here in nigeria is the “nigerian used”,
while the one shipped in from abroad is the Tokunbo version. Shocking isn’t it?
Ok, let us analyse this for a minute. It is a known fact that in nigeria, when
you want to buy a 2nd hand car you are strongly advised to take a mechanic with
you. So can you also do the same with a 2nd hand husband? Should it also be
recommended that when going for a 2nd hand husband you should make sure to take
a medical doctor to administer all the necessary check ups to be sure you are
not getting damaged goods?
Because in the true sense of it, a 2nd hand is a 2nd hand
whether car or husband.
And If the carburetor of a 2nd hand car can easily pack up
on 3rd mainland bridge, it means a 2nd hand husband can also pack up on the way
to the alter. As these thoughts were spinning in my head, I began asking myself
the same questions they asked me. Why do nigerian female celebrities prefer 2nd
hand husbands. Or Why would anyone prefer a 2nd hand husband? But come to think
of it, Is it that our female celebrities can no longer afford the luxury of
waiting for the brand new ones to come along? 
Or have the brand new ones
refused to be fooled by the razzmatazz or flashy make ups, thick foundations,
artificial nails, Brazilian hair and Peruvian eye lashes? Can it be attributed
to a thing of choice? They said a 2nd hand husband is often an Alhaji or an
Otunba with pot belle and deep pocket. Is it because of the  money or societal status of the men? As long
as he is fully loaded she really does not care. Some went further to say that a
2nd hand husband is already tested and trusted with a confirmed rate of
performance and durability? 
So figure a female celebrity asking her colleague,
“What is the mileage of your 2nd hand husband? And she replies “Ahhh
I nor know say hin former wives don finish am oo.. Na shaft I marry ooo, My
sista nor be small thing ooo, even my doctor sef say him liver go soon park up.
And na for hospital I dey sleep for the past 3 weeks. Just like 2nd hand car
owner dey sleep for mechanic workshop everyday. As my Curiosity got the better
of me, I asked them for names of female celebrities with 2nd hand husbands. I
was shocked beyond recognition that the list they gave me was as long as the
distance from mile 2 to Badagry. According to the list, almost all married
female celebrity in nigeria has a 2nd hand husband and even some of the female
celebrities themselves are 2nd hand. And some of the male celebrities also have
2nd hand wives or they themselves are 2nd hand. Well, if you don’t believe me,
make a list of your own and be amazed as I am right now. 
My conclusion is that
the issue of 2nd hand husband is not peculiar to entertainers. It is a general
societal disease and it is as a result of too many failed marriages we have in
the society at large. While nobody should be blamed for falling in love or
getting married to whoever he or she chooses, it is also important that we
position our lives to inspire the children and future entertainers who see us
as role models in the society. You may argue that it is not the society’s
business what you do with your affairs. Which is very true but also remember
that being a celebrity makes your life a public affair. So go ahead girls, take
home the 2nd hand husbands, it is your choice and it does not matter even if he
looks like an “accidented” car with scary mileage. 
If you love him
that much and he has some money to spend, you can take him to the highly skilled
american body mechanic called Dr. 90210 to panel-beat and mask all his dents.
And if you are fortunate to find one whose mileage is manageable, you can take
him to Ladipo market, buy the missing body parts and get a local panel-beater
to fix him. And if you are a handy-woman, You can even do the servicing
yourself by getting a complete first aid kit with bandages, Ampiclox and
mentholatum and massage his joints every night before sleeping.

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