Saturday, June 28, 2014

Bread & Butter Celebrities & Failed Marriages By Etcetera

If you listen to relationship programmes on radio, you would notice that many Nigerians are indeed struggling with their relationships and marriages and they are all seeking help. And because they do not have a glaring media attention serialising their issues, making judgements, giving strong commentary, poking them emotionally, there are chances of their relationships and marriages problems being solved.

Why is it that with the fame, fortune and good looks, our celebrities’ marriages still don’t work? It has been a strange phenomenon that the union of people in the limelight hardly lasts, indeed. So the question is, why do most celebrity marriages crash frequently? Continue below


Fame is dangerous to relationships for many reasons. Most troubling is that it demands that a couple spend time away from each other. One indicator of happiness in a relationship is the amount of time spent with one’s partner.

Spending time together is necessary to sustain a relationship, yet celebrities tend to ignore this and only focus on how to become more famous. You need to keep up with each other’s lives, look into each other’s eyes, and be in the same physical space to feel the mood and emotions from each other.

Without that, you might love each other, but staying “in love” demands much more than occasional get-together.

The man who loves you may start losing feelings because of the demands of your job. Your spouse, for instance, wants you to be home, but you cannot be at home because you are either on location or at one event or another socialising as a celebrity.

Celebs are expected to be extroverts – attending parties, or going to bars or clubs. Your spouse may not like all that. These things take their toll and it gets to a point when one of the parties says that he or she has had enough, and then packs his or her bag and leaves.

Most celebs don’t really take time to understand each other or truly understand what marriage is about before venturing into it. Some even see it as just an added feather to their cap. They love to gather people together, go to church and stand before the altar to exchange vows in front of the congregation. There is actually more to marriage than the physical appearance.

The pressure to live up to certain standards and give a good impression also contributes to marital splits among celebs. Because of their status, they put too much unnecessary pressure on themselves and try too hard to live up to the standard of others.

Most tend to live a life that is not theirs. The pressure of wanting to create or give people the impression of having a sense of perfection will certainly make your marriage crumble. Put a stop to all the pretence and be real to yourself.

Infidelity is the most common cause of most celebrity marriage break-ups in Nigeria. Some spouses have left their marriages when they could no longer bear the indiscretions of their unfaithful partners.

Infidelity is not restricted to celebrities only. It is a major source of marital discord today. But what makes that of celebrities different is the temptation they face regularly. Because of living their lives constantly in the spotlight and fame, they are presented with more ‘opportunities’ to cheat than others.

When musicians, for instance, go for shows, girls throw themselves at them. Even a Reverend Father can get tempted with all the ‘offerings.’ If one partner is constantly unfaithful, it can cause discord in the marriage.

Jealousy is also a problem in celebrity union. If one, for instance, has more fame, more success than the other, it can cause problems if the other party does not have the strength of character to cope with his or her partner being constantly in the limelight.

It takes a very strong man or woman to endure his wife, for instance, being more famous, getting more attention than them. You attend a party, and your husband or wife observes you being embraced and kissed here and there, jealousy starts getting into the marriage. It doesn’t even matter if both of you are celebrities.

Put your ego aside. As celebs, you’re going to be constantly fighting for the limelight. But marriage is all about concessions, even if it takes one of you to have to ride in the backseat for awhile for things to work out.

Money is the root of most problems in marriages. When your wedding planning starts taking the shape of a corporate board meeting, you’re already in trouble. Play deaf to the rumours. Celebrities are always insecure about one thing or another, and it is the reason a lot of media rumours are going to tear your already shaky relationship to shreds. Stop selling your privacy in pictures, on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook.

Choose whether you want to remain single or get married. Marriage is hard when you are used to being in control all the time. But suddenly you can’t just wake up one morning and jet off to Abuja or London for a weekend with your friends or spend N100,000 on a pair of shoes without certain considerations.

When you’re used to being the centre of your world, it is not easy to take that step back and let someone else have a major stake in your life.


Like every electronic device, marriage comes with a manual which must be followed to the letter if you want it to be successful. Celebrity marriages will continue to crash as long as they are building them on themselves and not on God, who is the initiator of marriage.

26 comments:

  1. Infact... He nailed it line by line! Hope the actual celebrities can really get to read this and act on it!

    What a brilliant advice.
    Thanks for taking time out Etcetera.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You must be etcetera

      Delete
    2. Bookey, as were were saying b4 the rude interruption, his analysis of the problem is quite good. I can only add that quite a few of these problems affect non celebrity marriages as well. One can only hope people are reading, thinking and changing. Well done Etc!!

      Delete
    3. As much as I love to read any nonsense. This guy's rants (even though may make sense) remains an exception. Just not interested. Ok bye

      Delete
  2. In dis life u can't eat ur cake and hv it, u can't choose 2 things at d same time,celebs shuld learn how to cut down some things after marriage or while in relationship, anyway one must learn how to set his or her priority well in d issues of relationships and building ur carrier even as celeb marry someone who is matured in heart also understands u and ur job.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well said. A word is enough 4 d wise. May God help our generation marriages.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you see him as someone who knows what he is doing

      Delete
  4. Whoever still reads this guy's write-ups, is the real MVP.

    ReplyDelete
  5. who made you a judge

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great speech

    ReplyDelete
  7. Never knew this guy get sense

    ReplyDelete
  8. Being a celebrity does not mean you can't make your marriage work. It just the ego in most of them that won't let them to be submissive.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Did guy just cum out straight maybe u can find sum help. Looking for a way to be a celeb and u seeking attention,any celeb who reply u again is just giving u want u crying for.*eyes rolling*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear always proof-read ur comments b4 broadcasting ur grammer in public..u can cause partial blindness u know.

      Delete
  10. He must be mentally unstable

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na free world @ anon 14:58. I know it is a challenge for you to read more than 1 sentence at a time, but pls persevere and read this advice. It may save your life.

      You can speculate as to the state of his mental health whilst we can be convinced (as we are) of yours. Clearly, you have either stopped taking your psychosis management drugs or the organ described as a brain in other humans has been vaporized from lack of use in your case.

      Lets hope your problem is the former..in which case I urge you to quickly refill your prescription and take your meds regularly to prevent this type of vile emission from you going forward. pele

      Delete
    2. Haahaha @ anon 15.58 , on point! Etcetera is clearly on point, I am leaning more towards celebrities in America here, if anyone insinuates he is talking to Nigerian celebs, then I must confess you are rather shallow, he has written a marvelous piece worth reading and anyone who would rather insult him than soaking up what has been written obviously is not knowledgeable enough and your brain can not adhere.

      Delete
  11. Always wanting to be in the news

    ReplyDelete
  12. This Etcetera keeps talking touch.
    www.justhealthng.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. BRAVO.....www.ahmedayoade.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete