Thursday, June 26, 2014

Can I Still Find True Love- Divorced Female Reader

Hello Ladun,

I would appreciate if you could post this on your blog plsssssss. Could you please don't publish my email address.

I am a 31 year old female with no kids who is unfortunately divorced. Before LLbers chop off my head, the divorce was not because I did anything wrong ooooh. I fought and did everything to make my marriage work but my ex-husband was a nightmare and stole turned broke me badly.

Anyways, my question is this: knowing how we Nigerians can be very judgemental of divorced women, what do you think are my chances of ever finding true love again and getting married? 

Is there anyone here who has been through a divorce (female please) and remarried? How easy was it to find someone who was willing to go all the way with you?

Men in the house, would you marry a woman who has been married before?

Parents, would you allow your son marry a Nigerian woman who has been previously married?

No, I am not desperate to marry again but I have somehow gotten myself to believe that I am never going to find true love again and I really want to hear that I might be wrong. It’s tough having your love life end at 31.


I know the stigma attached with being a female divorcee in Nigeria and it really saddens me cos not everyone who has a failed marriage actually deserves the treatment we get.

46 comments:

  1. One thin, jst knw who u are, if ur truly a good woman with heart of Gold, u MUST find love again, God is nt injustice if ur formal husband treated u bad for u to live, belive me u will find a good man, dn't ask how, work on ur mindset of what d society thinks and look unto God, unless der's somethin u did't do right try and work on it, u knw most female are truly bad but d feel d are good and ds d worst dt can happen to any human, wish u well

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    1. Hi,I am a guy and I believe that if u repackage urself,believe urself and Pray hard,u will get a man,after all u don't even have a child from the Marriage,don't look down on urself,don't let anyone bring u down and be the best and the sweetest u can be...

      If u can be all these,the leave the family and friends for God to handle,

      Also Know and have it at the back of ur mind that not all men are bad,a sweet man can still come ur way.

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    2. Poster, I know a lady who got divorced in 2010, she was only 28. It was an abusive marriage so she got the courage to leave him with their three children. Two years later she had her introduction. Two months ago she gave birth to Her fourth child for her new husband. She's the happiest she's ever been her entire life. Her new hubby takes really good care of her. My dear it's all about knowing what you want, packaging yourself to suit what you are looking for. Be patient and don't sell yourself short. Divorce is not a disease.
      What Would You Tell Your Younger Self If You Could? Click my name to read more and share your thoughts.

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  2. Am going into my third marriage nw. Am 34 . U can still find true love darling

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  3. My sister. remarrying is not the issue. I know many women and men who have divorced and remarried- and some of them have kids.

    I think you need to focus on yourself. Finding a man is not a job and should not take all your focus. You've already had one failed marriage. Rushing straight into another may mean you end up having a whole host of failed marriages in your wake.

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  4. Well, let me put it to you that you are wrong. You definitely can find love again, even at 31. True, the stigma we attach to things like this in this part of the world shouldn't come up. We seem to pay more attention to irrelevant issues while leaving out the quest for values. There is nothing wrong in marrying a divorcee. Having said these, it's important you do not stop praying, remain positive, keep an open mind, ask God for wisdom and you'll find happiness & love that will surpass your expectations. Good Luck !

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  5. People don't slack. The top people may be removing their children from Lagos to abroad then they will now announce that boko haram is in lagos.

    PLS WAKE UP AND STOP THEM !!!

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    1. Abeg expatiate. Becos this your statement does not really make much sense. Or maybe you didn't type well.

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  6. People don't slack. The top people may be removing their children from Lagos to abroad then they will now announce that boko haram is in lagos.

    PLS WAKE UP AND STOP THEM !!!

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  7. My mother was married before my dad had a daughter, she is fulfilled now cos she tell us my dad is the best thing that can happen to her life, my dear you will get the best man now trust me.

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  8. A man marrying a divorced woman is like a man who has decided to eat leftovers.

    My dear , no accomplished man will ever decide to eat leftovers.

    What would the man tell his parents and his friends for deciding to marry a FAIRLY USED iyawo?

    That there are no more ladies who are not used and ABANDONED out there or what?

    Some of these divorced women are even severely used but they are out there looking for a greenie of a man to marry them.

    Even if it is death that made the woman to be single, a sane man should think twice before risking his life by marrying such BLACK WIDOW?

    olu@atlanta.

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    1. I pity you anon: 14:23. You need to sit down and know what happens before you conclude. I am divorced not because i choose to but because i married at the age of 25 and it was after marriage i found out my hubby was impotent. I tried all to help medically. and here i am divorced. If i were to be your sister what will you advice me. Please don't be quick to judge. Thank you. For Poster please be positive, true love will come.

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    2. Olu, are u being serious or just trying to stir a debate?

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    3. You are utterly sick... Walai Talai..


      Mayowa

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    4. @olu,ds is indeed stupidity personified! U sound lik one hell of a silly rat frm d gutters. What kinda boy r u? To think u claim t live in a civilised world n utter trash beats me. @ poster,love finds everyone. Its left 4u t embrace it whenever it comes bt b ready t love urself first cos dats when u will b open t love again. (Sue)

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    5. olu Atlanta my foot,i taught ur civilized but now i know u be oloshi a papa.

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    6. Wow, Really! May God have mercy on your soul

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    7. i will not insult you, because i will not come down to your level, my parent divorced when i was very little and they both remarried, i grew up with my step-father and he was awesome + my brothers (step) are the most amazing brothers. my step-mum although we clashed alot when i was younger now we adore each other, her children for my dad are my blood. this lady will find a good husband and will live happily after just to put shame to people like you.

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    8. Youcommect is like a snake's bite and very untrue !

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    9. U COMMENT ISNT RIGHT AND ITS NOT TRUE. SHE CAN ALWAYS FIND LOVE

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    10. Olu@atlanta Take a step back from your system, read all you've written, very slowly please, and then smack yourself upside the head to reset your thinking. Done? Thank you and welcome to real life in 2014. How dare you use such derogatory words on women because they find themselves in such circumstances?

      To the poster, nothing do you ok. Stop fretting. I have friends who are divorced and remarried to better men. Just take life one day at a time and take good care of yourself, physically, emotionally and mentally. You will be just fine. :)

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    11. You are not serious right? Smh...

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    12. This Olu@Atlanta is a definite idiot... Are you married? If so, (which I doubt very much), is your wife a virgin? If not you are a definitely a crazed man... Your wife better be a virgin. I even doubt if any woman would want to be tied to the foolishness that you emit from the hole you call a mouth. No reasonable woman would want to be tied to such wickedness and mean spirit idiot.

      Mayowa

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    13. olu is on point. Truth is definitely bitter, but I disagree with his last statement though there are truly black widows of women who killed husbands just like their black widow spider counterpart but not all women who loses husbands to death are black widows.

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    14. ...olu@ijebo abi na wetin you call yourself, ma worry. very very soon, that woman you call "wife" will be called a black widow very very soon by someone...yeah true, thats life...whatever we wish for people, we get! idiot

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  9. At 31 you are still young. What happened to your self- confidence that makes you sound like a 51 year old? Of course you can find love and happiness you only need to believe in yourself. Good luck.

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  10. Is it never to late to get happily married divorced or baby mama or watever Nigeria call it. U use the case of Adesunmbo Adeoye just work on ursef be prayerful and hard working the right guy will locate u.

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  11. The only thing you need is prayer and patience,with God all your new desires are possible my Sister Luke 1;37

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  12. Everyone wants to get married early n have children early forgetting that marriage is for a lifetime and they eventually get tired n feel the need to be single so they can be able to mingle giving way to adultery... There is no crime in not been married look @ bimbo Akintola she is independent and still not married ,Marriage isn't for everyone u just av to know and be sure ,Just cos some rich dude comes from no where n wants to marry u,u agree and after a few years u slip n commit adultery just cos u think or know he is doing it as well,Simply means u aint any different from him. It will be hard for you to find a man to get married to but I believe u should be more focused on other things of life for now. Pray ask God for forgiveness also no offence if u happened to be divorced @ 31 it simply means u weren't ready for marriage.

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    1. What do you mean that "it would hard for you to find a man to get married to". You are being negative! She will get married. God is a God of second chances. I was divorced with a child and now happily married with twins. My husband loves me and my daughter with all his heart. God answered my prayers and gave me my heart desire. I asked God for he created me for. I didn't ask for money or physical qualities. I asked God to pick the best according to his standard. I met my husband through a family member. I wasn't looking. Please speak for yourself. There are men with good hearts out there. We make mistakes in life, but it doesn't define us. It makes us stronger and wiser!

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    2. lol just an aside why do ladies always use dis married wit twins as if its a trophy ..lol

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  13. Olu atlanta may God punish you Idiot! Village local mofo.
    I am very sure u also believe in the killing of twins and female circumcision. Cave man Oshi.

    TANI.

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  14. Really? - olu@atlanta, hope your wife was a virgin when you married her, because if not, you are knee deep in left overs and a tokunbo car dealer.

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  15. You r such a cruel man for saying this, Olu Atlanta or whatever you call your self. Haba! I pity whoever married you and that is if you are, wicked soul! My
    dear Lady don't be distracted by animal like him, I have seen a couple of Ladies in your shoes and they finally found love and are happily married. Stay focused concentrate on any job you are into, look good, stay happy and be prayerful . Just take your time and don't rush, believe in yourself and work on your past mistake. All the best!

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  16. Poster stop looking for validation from blogs.Everybody story is different. You walk race and do you. Talk to God about your heart desires, he listens. His time is not our time, but he comes through when you least expect it.

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  17. I will go with Anon 18:29 on this, it is between you and God. Seek His face and also focus on yourself and what makes you happy for now. An amazing man will come your way along the way. All the best.

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  18. Sweetheart, the first thing you need to do is to forgive him. Forgive urself too. Love urself, love life, and be super positive, I got married @ 25,he cheated on me, beat me up and kicked me out a year after our wedding. My crime is failure to get pregnant within a yr. I came out ashamed, disgraced and traumatized but I said no to defeat. I forgave him and start a new life,today am married wt two kids. A boy and a girl and am so matured. Turn it into a gain dear and you will be fine. Remember a rose is always a rose. And most importantly move closer to your God. He will give you a new life.

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  19. i really dont like the sound of "it is not my fault O...." i would ask you to work more on your self before jumping into another marriage, could there be things you can do better?

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  20. My dear leave it all to God, i got married at the age of 23 for all the wrong reasons which i thought was love...... That man almost killed me with beatings, i was so unhappy i believed that i needed another man to make myself feel better and i found myself in even worse relationships....... Until one day i decided to actually start to love myself first, love God and all others will be added, i am remarried now and i have the best of the best, my husband is really sent from God. Moral of the story. Leave it all to God and dont fret about nothing, God takes care of hes kids.

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  21. Someone is coming ur way but don't be in a hurry OK.

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  22. You will find love again.. i'm divorced from an abusive husband.. it's only been 5 months, and I have an 11 month old baby.. guys r coming arnd but i'm pushing dem off.. it's too early and i'm not totally free from the abuse, I still have nightmares.. giving myself time to heal. I want to build on a career too. I'm not in a hurry.. so relax, take ur time, pray and most of all ask God to direct u before you make another mistake

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  23. I am in same the situation with you with a baby girl,may God help us to find true love.

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