Monday, September 8, 2014

Women Are No Longer Submissive- Tosin Martins

Music act, Tosin Martins has said women of today are not as submissive as their mothers and it's quite worrisome. He cited some examples that he thinks make these women proud so to say and the reasons they have not been submissive to their husbands. A reporter from Schooltips & More Magazine who had this interview with him was forced to ask the singer who has been married for 8 years if his wife has also been submissive to him. Find out what he said after the cut.

About women not being submissive;

Our women today are of a different breed. Our women today are not really like our mothers. The average woman today is not as submissive as their mothers and a guy who is not ready to overlook that weakness would have a problem with marriage. These days you have to argue and defend your views and if it goes well, all parties can then agree.  It shouldn't be that way; there is a certain measure of honour a woman must give a man as the head. 

Is your wife submissive?

To the extent she can, she does her best to be fair to her. She is probably maybe not as bad as your average girl. But the truth is today’s woman struggles with you saying yes and she just agrees. She would want to know why. She wants to give you her own side of the story. She thinks she is making sense and you are not making sense. Today, a woman tells you she is travelling; she is not asking you for permission. There is some individuality taking place. It’s a major struggle.

What do you think is responsible for this?

I think is majorly because they have become their own people. They are as educated as you are; they are working as you are working, they are earning money and you are, they have a world view like you have. They are empowered now and have their own voice and want to express.


62 comments:

  1. He is talking from experience

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    1. That one don deal with am well well

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    2. Mr martins, from ur vague response it is not hard to deduce that the women u complain about is the character of ur wife. U didn't even answer the poser well so it's obvious. You've been married for 8years so how would u know women have become non submissive? Abi u dey toast them ni? Of course it's time to have a voice, and education doesn't mean u should be rude to ur spouse. U sound like u are embittered that women now have a voice because they earn money and are educated. Remove that archaic mindset of urs and conform with the new age. Don't be stuck in the past mr man. But I do not support a woman who will not be submissive to her man, never would. But I would not also condone a man who wants to silence women or make them passive.

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  2. Nigerian men are truly weak. You need a woman to dumb herself down to make you feel like a man? Tell me how much of a man are you then. Tosin the only reasons our mothers were submissive is because they had no choice. Like you mentioned women back then were not educated and/or exposed they relied on men for survival and that's why the marriage issue is so rampant in Nigeria. I have to marry I have to marry it's the highest form of achievement. It isn't. We are humans and we are aware that many things we thought only men could do we are able to do if not do better. Men need to stop wearing their weakness on their sleeves. Look around you women are taking over and you men will deal. We are becoming the men we only thought we could fall in love with and where does that leve you guys? Unable to cheat because an independent woman won't have such. It makes you get in the kitchen and cook too because sometimes I'm tired too when I come back from work just the same way you are so what we can do is take turns with this cooking and cleaning thing. It leaves you actually learning how to be emotionally available to your children and stop making them look to your as a God but as a father who they can seek comfort in. Nigerian men the world is changing on you and it is scary but it's cool there are still women out there stupid enough to marry because they just are too lazy to make anything of themselves so yea they will be submissive because again that's their mentality but what good is a woman who can't step up when things get real? LOL the nerve of you to write this is truly appalling. Men really do think you are superior beings haha! Well wake up and step into 2014 some women run countries and companies.

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    1. all this long essay just to make a point..lol

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    2. why don't people read anymore he is not condemning independent ladies he is just highlighting the difference btw the past and present,,..na wa o...pple jus read one sentence and jump up and down like kangaroos

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    3. I could not have said it better! you are 5000 percent on point. I always say, its the exact same activity that produces a girl child that produces a boy child, why one would be born and feel that he/she is superior beats me! I am happy things are changing and we are finding more and more progressive men!

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    4. Did you pass through the four walls of a university or polytechnic? Did you read the interview very well because you are saying something different from what the young man just said.

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    5. God bless you. You're like the first sensible person on this blog.
      This man will be miserable for life until he realizes that he is head of no one and only GOD is. With his failed career. He might be suffering from anxiety. Uncle Tosin, the bible you're quoting says HUSBANDS AND WIVES SHOULD SUBMIT TO EACH OTHER. IT IS NOT A ONE WAY THING. oloshi

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    6. thank you oooo pls me i like making reference to the bible... it even says men love ur wives women submit to ur husbands. until the men love their wives they shldnt expect a Gad damn submission. so they want women to be boiled vegetables abi what? we shldnt have a say we shldnt talk or air our opinion total rubbish

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  3. I must confess.. She isn't right! Even though i am man


    See Today's exposed gists @www.naijaeyez.net

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  4. Na so,our mumu mothers that took shit from our fathers & are yet to reap anyfin,una just start.....future husband,I'm not going to be easy to deal wiv.

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    1. @yetinde u just said my mind

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    2. good u said future husabnd, u'll probably die single

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    3. My sister. Na so my mama just dey chop shit from my papa for how many years. I've grown and she wants me to come and follow her and chop the shit. The fact is women of nowadays say the truth and their minds and men hate truth. I personally say what's up cos it saves time. My parents' relationship made me know that there's no time to be "the good wife" and manage nonsense.

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  5. Hmm, Tosin really wants the women to come for him

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  6. I am sure all is not well with his marriage

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  7. He must have spewed these shits from his anus. SO you want to marry a slave with no opinion? Good luck to your wife

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    1. Please go back and read the post again, the guy is not in anyway condemning women.

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    2. @ Bala, u might want to go back and read again. He began by complaining that today's woman is not submissive and then goes ahead to describe said women as educated, empowered etc He is thus complaining about the progress of women.

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  8. Tosin, this is an insult to your wife, Moiks. You are privileged to be married to her.

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    1. U better advice her to stop oppressing him, he's sending subtle messages, na from clap e dey enter dance

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  9. It's hard to believe that a man will cough this rubbish out of his mouth in 2014.
    My dear, our mothers were submissive because their husbands were first and foremost MEN in the true sense of it. The husband knew his duty was to protect and provide for his family. He was the breadwinner of the family. Most of our mothers were housewives and were never obligated to contribute to the upkeep of the family. Although their level of education then may have played a part in this decision. It was more or less regarded as an affront of her husband's ego and bragging rights to his friends.
    Fast forward to 2014.... majority of the young men we have today are nothing less than glorified gigolos. imagine a young man saying he has to marry a lady who has a job and makes sure she lives in a certain part of town to meet his criteria for marriage..!
    What we have nowadays are BOYS getting married to WOMEN! The women of nowadays are trained to be as successful as their male counterparts. They are taught to be good wives and providers for their homes. A challenge most of their mothers never had to deal with.
    Even though the Bible says that women should be submissive to their husbands, the same Bible states that a man who cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel it doesn't say the same for a wife!!
    Even the Proverbs 31 woman is depicted as a hard working woman who despite her husband's ability to provide for his family chooses to help him. Not because she is forced to, as the women in this day and age are doing.
    Nigerian men want to eat their cake and have it. You're happy to share in her financial success but you want her to be at your beck and call like your slave. Most of you are even happy to have working class wives so you have more money to spare on your numerous mistresses!!
    Men today only chose to quote the part of submitting to them without fulfilling the first part of the scripture that entitles them to the status of husbands!!
    How do you expect a woman to submit to a boy?!

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    1. You have just wrote a book instead of making a comment. I can bet that not one person on this blog will have the time to go through it. Even Wole Soyinka book self I never read am finish e come be this rubbish wey you write.

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    2. Clap for yourself Narrow minded. You have just demonstrated to the world that you have the attention span of a gnat and the manners of a pig! As you no get time, we get time and the post above is a valuable contribution to discourse on an issue that is important to some of us. Next time jump and pass instead of airing your crassness.

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    3. i read it. read once in a while. it's good for your narrow mind

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    4. I'm sorry I wish I could actually read this long comment, but I can't! @Narrow Minded...your comment is very funny! It was so funny esp because I just skipped the long book! Lol

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    5. Narrow minded!!!u r very stupid!!i just read d msg from begining to d end!very interesting&informative write up so why wont pple read it??Na d same rope tie u&Tosin,i feel ur pain so ud do anythn to block d truth!D truth is bitter they say but d person stated it clearly!anuofia!

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    6. I actually read it and it makes perfect sense

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    7. nod narrow minded, I read it.

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  10. Women of today are different from those of yesterday. Women now work, make more money than men. Men have become lazy by the years and a lot of women have taken their place. How will such women respect men like that. Be realistic before uttering such a statement next time

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    1. No matter how rich and educated a woman is, she ought to submit to her husband

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    2. I trust myself, no woman can mess up in my house.

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    3. you that your dick can't even stand sef you're here opening mouth talking about what a woman can do in your house

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    4. I feel you mehnnn. True talk.

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    5. @Cheif Dairo, The house, she probably contributed to the rent abi?

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  11. It is evident that women of these days are not submissive.

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  12. That's why I love our Hausa women.

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    1. Because they are doormats loll

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    2. You mean the married hausa woman that was sleeping with Jim Iyke and later had a child for another actor? Is that what you mean when you say you like hausa women? The ones who can sleep with their brothers because they have such a repressed existence?

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  13. If u have problems in ur marriage fix them and stop generalising, we are not all like ur wife abeg, who made u an authority in marriage, u are talking from ur myopic sphere, have u married all d women in d world to talk from experience? Abeg don't talk to d press next time and destroy ur reputation

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  14. If u have problems in ur marriage fix them and stop generalising, we are not all like ur wife abeg, who made u an authority in marriage, u are talking from ur myopic sphere, have u married all d women in d world to talk from experience?

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  15. Coming from an onye ofe mmanu, I'm not surprised, most of u are lazy and wait for ur wife to be d breadwinner and man, then control u. An ibo woman no matter her position is homely and respectful....... Oyaa cry babies start denying it, but u know it's true

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    1. My dear Ibo guys have joined them o. They will borrow money to pay rent and to buy a car with no source of income. Then look for a rich girl who will marry them and help them pay off their debts.

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  16. Where is Olu@atlanta? I would be surprised if he does not agree with that women should be slaves..


    Seyi

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  17. So many people putting up comment should read well before commenting. Tosin only compared the women of then and now. But all the same I must say that we man dint marry slaves and I'm of the opinion that every person who calls himself a man will understand the importance of empowering your wife. Our father's never empowered our mothers and that led to the military regime we all grew up with(Not all home) . I'm so shocked at the rate at which men now look for rich ladies to marry just because they don't want to put the extra effort but the want to be incharge. If you contributed to the success of you woman, it is rear for her to mess up. But woman of nowadays don kilo ooo

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  18. Thank God for progress! What did our mothers gain from submitting? That is why it is tough to see any girl submitting and 'chopping crap'. No profit for dia. Having seen their suffering with no redress, who wants to be 'eran iya'?

    Puhleaze!! Besides, that bible people are so quick to quote says we should submit to one another. True, there must be a leader, and God has indicated the man as leader - not as ruler, king or tyrant. There should be only 1 King in a home and that King ain't human.

    No woman who experiences true love from her husband has a problem submitting to him. It is easy to submit to love. Its abuse and cheating that a woman will refuse to accept. The man who has an 'unsubmissive' wife, has either abused his position, her trust or just not loved her enough. Men should go and understand what being a husband means abeg!

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    1. ''No woman who experiences true love from her husband has a problem submitting to him. It is easy to submit to love. Its abuse and cheating that a woman will refuse to accept. The man who has an 'unsubmissive' wife, has either abused his position, her trust or just not loved her enough''......This is what families especially ibos need to teach their men before unleashing them on unsuspecting females.

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  19. Even if you are a housewife, every human being is created of equal value in God's sight! A husbands commitment to his wife and marriage does not end in financial provision. If you cant view madam as your partner in progress, if you cant respect yourself and your marriage vows and keep your 'kini' insider trouser, if you are not secure enough in yourself to let her have a voice in your marriage, then you are setting yourself up for rebellion. If financial importunity keeps her at your mercy, be sure your children will rebel on her behalf. Bo se wa ni yen.

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  20. Wow... when I read this piece, I laughed!!!
    I hope ladies won't come at me for this comment...

    I have to say that I agree with him.... as much as I won't want to go "biblical" cuz not everyone believes in Jesus.. but hey! it is clearly stated that women should be submissive to their husbands. And women these days(even plus including me)lol! find it really hard!
    I am firm believer of partnership in marriage. Not that one is the "dominant" and the other is the "subordinate" unless they want to bring that into.... that's way beyond me! lol... but quite frankly... We are Africans and except you marry a white man... there are somethings a black man won't be able to accept. So to make it work... try to be submissive. It's hard sometimes but it is possible! *smiles* yes we can!

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    1. Ode niii e. You still quted the bible

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    2. "Husbands must love their wives as Christ loved the Church". Christ sacrificed himself for the church. Most men can't even reserve their penises for their wives. Its a 2 way street but unfortunately because we are in backward, war torn, disease ridden, semi paganistic Africa, so much is expected of women and men are encouraged to be as useless as possible.
      This generation of men 30-50 have proven that our parents style of marriage and family life did not work. They may have had long marriages but we now know that staying in a marriage does not mean that the marriage is working. We know most of our mothers regret staying with our fathers, FACT!! Who the hell wants to die and know that all they did was cook, clean and give birth?
      Take for example a girl who marries a man who although is not doing well money wise, she marries for love. The man and his family after the wedding, now expect her to provide for him financially and also 'submit' to him and them. Can you submit to a man whose haircuts, phone credit, clothes you pay for? How can a man be the head of a home he did not provide?
      If we ever want to progress we need to completely get rid of every so called African culture because their relevance has expired. We are all equal. We may have different roles to play but one is not greater than the other. ***Kelly S**

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  21. Lol, I laught to people's comment oooooo . DERA MI

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  22. Our men of today need to man up. Young mothers, please let's train our sons to be MEN. Real MEN are going extinct with our fathers. Hopefully our young sons of today will grow up to bring them back. The men of today want to live like boys and enjoy the privileges of MEN.

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  23. I agree with Tosin Martins.

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  24. Bro I agree the other day I was talking to my wife who told me over the phone she wanted to purchase a property. I told her to wait so we can do due diligence she asked me a shocker question which still rings in my head "is it your money?" I apologise come leave am.
    Now money she done pay property she no see na me she dey push go front to go fight for money back but no be my money so I no dey go fight?
    Submissiveness does not mean you lose you right to self it means you listen to your husband's views and respect it no matter how stupid you think it sound.
    The Bible said Husbands love you wife even as Christ loves the church and to the wife (woman) it says submit yourself to your own husbands...women liberation activist think it is an advice that is optional.
    I wish you liberators Grace as partial obedience is disobedience in every ramifications.

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    1. That's ur wife's character and ur fault for not earning her respect, weak man

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  25. Only God knws where ladun saw dese ppl who cme on here to write a whole newspaper as comments.. Read well b4 writting dumb comments

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  26. The bible is equally relevant in 2014 when it concerns marriage not only when it favors people. Its this case of lack of submission that is the reason for divorces today. God has said the way it should be. Everyone mustn't be married if you can't submit.

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  27. .....And men are no longer responsible, piggybacking on their wives backs. Most of them cannot fulfill their marital obligations and they want to be chairman for house? Ngwanu!!!

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