Etcetera Lists Annoying Things Naija Girls Do At Concerts

You know him now… read…
I was watching entertainment news on TV with a couple of
friends and it got to a part where Tuface was on stage performing and a girl
who probably was as drunk as a skunk, dragged herself on the stage and started
hugging him and even took off her shirt . What is actually wrong with Naija
babes at concerts? How do you expect your boyfriend to feel watching his
girlfriend on national TV jumping around Tuface on stage like a chimpanzee
wearing just a bra and with boobs wobbling from side to side? Well, Tu-baba
surely didn’t mind. He probably would have grabbed at those bouncy boobs if it
wasn’t a concert. Twale Baba!!! Continue…

Here are some of the annoying things Naija babes do at
Taking pictures the entire show: I get it. You want to show
all your friends on Facebook and Twitter that you were at the concert. Fine.
Take a photo. Take five if you want. But please, don’t take 1000! You always
manage to hold your camera right in my line of sight. You don’t even look like
you’re enjoying the show while you’re doing this. All your attention is on the
pictures you are taking. And you know what? Those pictures are all going to
look like nonsense, every single one of them. You’re too far away from the
stage. You’ll probably never even look at them. Also, you see those guys right
in front of the stage with the giant cameras? They’re taking great professional
pictures. There’s really no need for yours.
Checking Facebook, Twitter and Instagram every couple of
minute Unless you’re a surgeon who’s expecting an emergency call or message,
everything can wait. Live in the moment. Enjoy the show. You paid gate fee to
be here. You can tweet your friends when you get home. Also, your fake China
phone emits a very harsh and distracting light. For the love of God, turn the
damn thing off!
Incessantly talking to your friends: You might not like
whatever song is playing. You may be bored with the show in general. You may
have been dragged here by your boyfriend against your will. But you’ve been
talking all through the entire show, and I can hear everything you are saying.
It’s driving me crazy. Please shut the hell up! I can’t tell you how many shows
I attend where the girls in front of me are yelling in each other’s ear the
entire night. Not only is my sightline blocked when their cheap wigs or
weave-on come together, but I can hear their gossip. Take your chit-chat to one
of the food vendor’s shed and stay there till the show is over, or go spread a
wrapper under that pawpaw tree and lie down and talk till morning. I don’t
care. Just shut up so I can enjoy the show.
Yelling out requests: ‘Yaaay, I want Styl-plus to play
“Imagine That”’. Hey girls, imagine if you shut up and stop screaming in my
ear; most of the time, the song list is pre-determined, and they can’t even
hear you from up there. They’re going to play what they’re going to play. Just
go along for the ride. Damn it!
Yelling out the names of the artiste on stage: This is
another level of irritation. This has never been funny. Maybe it was cool in
the 80s. Now, it’s just madness.
Pushing your way to the front: If a concert is general
admission, the people in front earned their spots. They got there early and
laid claim to their space. The people all the way in front might have even
spent all day waiting by the doors, so when the show begins and you shove your
way to the front, you’re being a huge distraction. Don’t do that. If you show
up late and there’s only room in the back, you’ve just have to deal with it.
Getting so drunk you puke: Girls these days drink like
sharks. You see them at Felaberation smoking igbo even more than TerryG. I feel
sorry for those who have to clean up the venue after the concerts. I can
imagine the types of vomit and stench they have to clean up.
Loudly complaining after the show because the artiste didn’t
play your favourite song: This is actually one of the crazy things we see after
each concert. Babes, try to enjoy the show you’re getting as opposed to the one
you wish you were seeing. Besides, haven’t you heard “Kukere” and “Shoki”

Filming the entire show on your mobile phone: This distracts
people even worse than taking pictures, and usually results in an equally
horrid product. The sad irony is that people tend to film their favourite
songs, but the smiles on their faces are gone when all their concentration goes
into capturing these moments on film. Next morning, Instagram will be cluttered
with crappy cell phone videos of every song from the concert. Stop tagging me
to these crappy videos. I was at the concert for Christ sake! You paid good
money to see a show, and you’re joylessly watching it through a tiny screen on
your mobile phone. It just doesn’t make any sense.

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