This is from a blog reader…
”Dear Parents, your daughter’s potential rapist are the men that are VERY CLOSE to you. LISTEN UP!!!
With everything going on lately I had to reach out to you Ladun to talk about my personal experience. I am 36, and married with two kids. What I’m about to explain is for the attention of parents, mothers in particular.
I had three bitter experiences with men i called uncles.
One was very close to our family. He was a role model. my siblings and I were in primary school when he finished secondary school we admired him alot because we thought he was intelligent and he spoke well. Fast forward a few years, my family relocated to Lagos, he also came to Lagos to search for job, by then i was in secondary school and my mother gave him a room in our flat. On a sunday afternoon when my brothers had gone out, and no one at home, he tried to rape me.
I was sleeping in my room when he opened the door (I was fast asleep), all of a sudden i noticed something choking me…it was a towel down my throat. I couldnt scream, he was pushing the towel HARD down my throat and i was using all my energy to fight him off. Thank God strenght came and i somehow managed to get up. I rushed and opened the main door and ran out, when i stopped being hysterical, i went back in and screamed the house down. He started apologising and blamed the devil, as rapists usually do in this country.
My second experience was with another man i called my uncle. He had actually just finished serving, so he came to Lagos from Ilorin to his brother’s place. His brother was married with children almost our own age. We were very close to the family but we never knew of him until he came to Lagos.
This man would come to our house to read most evenings, claiming it was more conducive for him. At this time, my mother had travelled, she wasn’t in the country.
So one day, he said he would spend the night at our flat. We all watched a movie till the early hours of the morning. my brothers fell asleep in the living room with him, i did too. When i woke up, i saw him reading, so i went to my room. Just minutes after, i notice someone was trying to touch me, I opened my eyes and shouted brother L, he said “keep quiet i like you, don’t you like me” I told him NO. He persisted and i gave him a slap and threatened to wake my brothers up, even though they were much younger, they would have given him the beating of his life. He left Immediately, I locked my door. The following morning, I was so terrified, so ashamed, so i told my brothers, brother L should never come here again, i couldn’t even tell them WHY because i felt ASHAMED. A phenomenon I now know to be victims shame.
That was how he stopped coming to our house.
The third man, a father figure, who lived down stairs. He occupied one of the flats. All of this happened to me while i was between the ages of 15- 17. He had little cash and flaunted it at me, thinking I was stupid enough to give into his paedophilic desires for a little change. He was always asking me to come to his office, I kept wondering why, and despite the fact that that I never went to his office….I found out the answer the hard way.
One day he opened up and said he liked me. I asked him to respect himself. One evening as i returned from my tutor, as I was preparing for my WAEC, he cornered me at the side of the house (this side is usually quiet and my brothers and I were the only ones that used this particular staircase) and started forcing himself on me. I tried to scream, he held my head tight to the wall, and said there is no one at home. He said your mother is not home and your brothers aren’t back (I know this because one of them went with you for the lesson, and he stopped on his way to see his friend). To make matters worse the occupants in the flat downstairs close to the staircase were also not aorund. It was war……I fought, I fought hard, and escaped.
These terrifying experiences happened while i was a virgin. I had never had sex and i had never had a boyfriend.
I’ve re-lived these traumatic times to hopefully bring attention to the friendly predators that hunt the innocent children of this world. The people you trust most, the men you feel your daughters are most likely to be comfortable around, are the potential rapist. BE ALERT. The real rapists are close by!
The 3rd man was very close to my mum. They talked about business, life and even trusted each other with money. His wife was very close to us too, we were basically one big happy extended family….or so I thought.
DEAR MOTHERS, PLEASE WATCH YOUR DAUGHTERS CAREFULLY.
LOVE AND LIGHT!”