A Dawson’s Creek and Wasteland writer committed suicide after a long-haul battle with COVID-19 that left her bedridden and continuously riddled with pain more than a year later.
Heidi Ferrer, 50, took her own life on May 26 at her home in Los Angeles, California following a lengthy battle with COVID-19, her family said.
The mother-of-one contracted the virus in April 2020 after experiencing body aches, including severe pains in her feet and ankles, fatigue and flu-like symptoms.
Her symptoms escalated and by June she was bedridden. Over the following months, Ferrer’s fatigue and foot pain remained but she also became crippled with neurological tremors.
In a heartbreaking blog post that she penned back in September titled ‘How I’m recovering from long haul COVID’, Ferrer detailed how the virus had crippled her but declared that ‘COVID won’t win’.
‘The monster is real and it came for me. Recovering from COVID-19 has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through and I’ve been through a lot,’ she wrote.
‘In my darkest moments, I told my husband that if I didn’t get better, I did not want to live like this. I wasn’t suicidal, I just couldn’t see any quality of life long term and there was no end in sight.
‘One of the cruelest things COVID did to me was to take away my ability to have dreams. I don’t mean dreams in my sleep, I mean I completely stopped dreaming about my future because I couldn’t picture it. It was a wall.
‘Yes, everyone had lost our trips, our events, our free lives during the shutdown, but I had lost all of that and also became suddenly crippled with scary neurological programs.’
Ferrer told those going through similar long-haul struggles with COVID that they could all pull through together and urged them never to give up.
‘I believe this in my bones: If you are suffering from this monster, you will eventually make it out, we will heal,’ Ferrer wrote.
‘Slowly, almost inexorably, sometimes glacially… we are recovering. It’s just that no one knows for sure how long it might take, maybe six months, maybe a year.’